and the sheriff said "whatever you do, don't look back" so I looked back and the killer was banging my boyfriend's severed head on the roof of the van!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:44, 28 replies)

bollox

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:50, closed)

HOW DO YOU KNOW WERE YOU THERE NO YOU WEREN'T SO JUST SHUT UP YOU TROLL

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:52, closed)

Who do you think was banging your boyfriend's head on the van roof?

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:27, closed)

you look slimmer wearing the skins of your victims ... it's a good look for you

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:31, closed)

Just wish I could afford new sewing needles and some decent cat gut. Plus, the smell.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:39, closed)

Really? That's awful.
I didn't know you were gay.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 17:54, closed)

your username gives me horrific earworm :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:06, closed)

See your local pharmacy.
They can work wonders these days.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:28, closed)

Did you think I was fucking you as an act of charity?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:17, closed)

Well, actually, I thought it was the other way round.
There's no money involved, is there?
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:27, closed)

Not unless you want to poke a string of 5 yen coins up my bum again.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:29, closed)

Not if you're going to make that weird howling noise again.
The kids had nightmares for weeks.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:09, closed)

I can't believe you don't like my sex yodel
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:00, closed)

Not me, them.
I've got it as my ringtone - which is kind if fitting. For one of us.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 1:16, closed)

You must have the shittest gaydar then

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:00, closed)

cant use a satnav either

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:12, closed)

Hold on a minute now.
Do you mean the killer was repeatedly striking your boyfriend's severed head against the roof of the van, or was the killer pressing your boyfriend's head up against the van and copulating with it? The credibility of your account hinges on this crucial detail.
( .Yeti., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 19:49, closed)

what kind of sick freak would waste a decent decapitation as some kind of rudimentary drum?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 19:53, closed)

I don't know, it could be as part of a modern dance performance against capitalism or something.

( .Yeti., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 19:57, closed)

Christ. You mean he was killed by ... by ... a GUARDIAN reader??

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 20:36, closed)

You wanted an explanation for the rolled-up Sunday Times buried up to the hilt in his arse?
You got it.
( .Yeti., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 20:55, closed)

the choice of Sunday Times is actually rather interesting.
You will have to buy the bluray for the commentary. Needless to say Terry thought it hilarious.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 21:13, closed)

The FT is easier to remove
And its fetching colour helps to hide the blood stains
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 11:34, closed)

Wow
That happened to you too? Weird.
(Smale is stuffed, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 22:19, closed)

Did they do that song where somebody told him that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February last year?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:03, closed)

blur are shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:03, closed)

agreed

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:13, closed)

skullfucking
edgy
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 11:33, closed)