She never forgave me.
I was cooking for my then girlfiend. I diced an onion, but I didn't dice it finely enough for her tastes so she got angry.

I know what you are thinking. 'That doesn't sound horrible'. I thought the same.

Apparently though, it means that I never listened to her.

Then she said something along the lines of that I am a selfish bastard who can't understand that there are deeper things going on and that she needs to be with someone who appreciates what is important to her. I should pay more attention to what she is angry about and if I just looked at what the real issues are sometimes maybe we would have had a chance to stay together, but as it is, I don't seem to appreciate what is really going on and it's time to end things and blah blah blah.

Crazy bitch. I mean, who gets that angry about an onion?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 12:52, 12 replies)

An argument over an onion.....
You're quite right it sounds absolutely ridiculous and completely unreasonable. Has there been something left out of the story that would help it make more sense?
(staleywise, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 14:34, closed)

Sometimes
I wonder if my stories haven't reached the point I meant them to. For that I blame myself.

But in this case, I think I will say: read it again retard.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 14:42, closed)

Actually,
I think you did get the point. Albeit unintentionally.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 14:48, closed)

hmmm
Nothing I do is unintentional.
(staleywise, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 14:53, closed)

It's OK
I take what I said to you back. I have edited it ever so slightly because I don't think I made the point obvious enough.

Although if you still don't get it...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 14:55, closed)

....and that's it.
To be honest, I was winding you up because not only was your story not funny, it seemed to be way off topic and it seemed like you were having a passive/aggressive reaction to your girlfriend by whining and deliberately exaggerating what your girlfriend did/said while making yourself an innocent victim. (That’s why I asked if there had been “something” left out of the story.) Sorry – you were a soft target and I shouldn’t have. Truce?
(staleywise, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 15:23, closed)

Ha.
I mistold it then. There was no passive aggressiveness intended. It was supposed to be an off kilter (and funny - but apparently it wasn't) twist on the topic at hand.

And of course truce. Actually, do you need a job? It appears that I need an editor.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 16:00, closed)

Edit
Meh, what I said here didn't really need saying.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 16:09, closed)

Really?
Weirdo
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 19 Jun 2011, 3:39, closed)

if it makes you feel better
I got it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 15:56, closed)

I think it says a lot about me
that that does actually make me feel better.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 16:01, closed)

Onions...
...end more relationships than infidelity...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Sat 18 Jun 2011, 16:03, closed)

/\ what he said/\
i know from bitter personal experience that coshing some one over the head with a 25kg sack of onions will definitely end it some times permanently
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 16:40, closed)

Don't worry; I got the joke.
Which possibly suggests that I spend too much time on Sickipedia.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 18 Jun 2011, 17:47, closed)

I didn't get the joke.
I spend a rather lot of time on Sickipedia. Please explain. I'm intruiged (sp?).
(Xstopher, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 3:50, closed)

A lot of Sickipedia's "jokes" are based on misdirection and misunderstanding.
The OP's story shows a girlfriend frustrated with the OP's general inattention towards her desires, of which coarsely dicing an onion is but one of many examples of his poor behaviour towards her.

The OP, on the other hand, doesn't understand why she makes such a fuss over one onion, simultaneously completely ignoring and perfectly demonstrating (the validity of) his girlfriend's complaints.

The joke could thus be shortened to "My girlfriend complained that I ignore her. I proved her right."
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 19 Jun 2011, 16:08, closed)