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This is a question Horrible things I've done to a loved one

You shat on her Justin Bieber poster because you adore her. She cleaned the toilet bowl with your toothbrush for the same reason. Tell us of the times true love has not been as true as it should

Suggested by Edenmonster

(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 12:56)
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One of my best mates
...is a completely arrogant arse; whose girlfriend was lovely and wouldn't harm a fly. He once called her 'fundamentally unlikeable' in front of all of us just because it was his turn to answer the door.
Anyway, one day he calls me saying that he's in the doghouse. Why? Because after a long day at a beer festival he gets home and decides it would be a great idea to pull down his kecks and fart in her face while she was sleeping; but unfortunately for him, "a nugget came out".
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:15, 23 replies)
And you're happy to admit to this charmless oaf being a best mate?
Good job there, Cap'n "Birds of a Feather".
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:17, closed)
Quite a lot of the tales this week are monumentally crass, bordering on disturbing.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:19, closed)
I'm hoping my "Please Don't Breed" suggestion becomes enshrined in law.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:23, closed)

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:35, closed)
I take my kids everywhere.
And I'm bigger than you so you can buy your own lager top, you whiny little prick.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:40, closed)
Then fuck off back to getting their tea from Iceland, you dick.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:46, closed)
Yeah they do a nice breakfast in Reykjavik. Ya bastard.......

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:51, closed)
Like you've ever left the house.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:55, closed)
Of course I do Vagabond how else can I curb crawl.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:08, closed)
I don't think we have an Iceland around here.
Perhaps you should work harder so that you can afford to live somewhere less downmarket?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:55, closed)
Save it for the judge, internet liar.

(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:56, closed)
You can't arrest me for not shopping at a discount frozen food shop.
I know my rights.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:00, closed)

No - not proud. I guess 'forced mate' is more like it; considering we were neighbours for as long as I can remember and coincidentally went to the same university. I suppose I'd better go and find some better mates to hang around with...
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:26, closed)
Chicken or gold?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 12:33, closed)
And did he puke and then snog her after?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:18, closed)
For the purpose of comedy

Yes. But in seriousness I don't think she went near him for a while after that. Same guy also recorded himself shagging his ex; and when another one of my 'mates' (studying media and production at the time) borrowed his laptop - found it, put a porno soundtrack to it, and uploaded it to Kazaa. I'm not sure that counts as a story post though.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, closed)
I thought this QOTW was about "...loved ones..."?
Not shit-for-brains girls hanging around with guys with brainless scum?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 18:05, closed)
For the record...
She's not 'shit for brains'. She's got a degree and comes from a wealthy family and her grandad has a knighthood. This friend of mine who (induced by a day of very heavy drinking) thought it would be funny to fart in his LOVED ONE's face also has an IQ for Mensa so I wouldn't really say he's brainless scum either. Admittedly what he was retarded though, nonetheless.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 19:48, closed)
Oh, sorreeee.
They passed some clever tests.
Shame she likes to be treated like shit and will, most likely, let her future husband cheat on her and beat the shit out of her and he'll likely cause a whole lot of people to loose their money and/or jobs because of his arrogance.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 20:48, closed)
This is a
joke fight, right? Either that or you are both crazy.
(, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 10:47, closed)
Nobody cares about your record.
He's a prick, you're a prick for calling him a best mate, she's a prick for sticking around with him. Pricks of a feather.
(, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 11:07, closed)
You write things so much better than I do.
(, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 18:40, closed)
It's all in the judicious use of the word "prick" and the phrase "fucking idiot".

(, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:23, closed)

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