oh christ, is it STILL only fucking wednesday?
i went for a smear test yesterday and the speculum popped out of my fanny when the nurse turned away to put the swab in the pot. we laughed uncomfortably about ping pong balls.

can we have 'awful moments during medical examinations' next or will it all be about that time you got diagnosed with cancer?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:20, 32 replies)

Yeah that will really cheer things up, won't it.
A week long dirge of how I buried my mum and that time I found a lump and it turned out to be bad AIDS, again.

Whoopee.

I vote either best mates or beautiful moments pt iii.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:22, closed)

I vote we get a better question master.*
*Edit I vote Frank Spencer.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:24, closed)

why is AIDS always funny ?

(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:04, closed)

It's not.
Unless it's bad AIDS.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:08, closed)

or cat AIDS
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:21, closed)

Oh, please, no.
qotw has been so grim lately.

can we have something nice and fluffy instead? At this rate we'll end up with topics like 'hilarious suicide attempts' and 'the depths of existential despair' and I might need to rethink how I skive work.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:28, closed)

We could always just scrap qftw and off topic altogether.
The Moans can fuck off to mumsnet and the Pricks can fuck off back to talk. Job done. Problem solved. Bob's your uncle. Who has arse cancer and will soon be dead.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:42, closed)

But ... but ...
won't you get lonely?

*empathy lols*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, closed)

Lacist.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:08, closed)

Oh dear.
"We're gonna need a bigger speculum..."
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, closed)

shhhh. it's because i have muscles of steel. i SQUEEZED it out.
you're welcome.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, closed)

I bet you tied the poor fucking thing in a knot and shot it out the window. Hulk Snatch.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:49, closed)

This is some very surreal pandering...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:26, closed)

^It's almost brown pandering^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:09, closed)

Isn't it always, though?
Isn't it always?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:02, closed)

You mean I'm talking to a person and not simpering at an OMGIRL?
That's not called "surreal pandering". That's called being an adult. I realise it's not something one sees often around these parts.

SNIGGER ... "PARTS"
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:40, closed)

I've just never heard a girl being flattered on how muscley her snatch is before
Have you found this to be effective in the past?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:52, closed)

Did the bit where I said "I'm talking to a person and not simpering at an OMGIRL" not get through your web filters?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:55, closed)

Sorry, I must have been reading quietly
I get it now. This is taking it to "the next level". "Second base pandering", if you will.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:59, closed)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:05, closed)

Is that where she shot you in the face with her Hulk Snatch?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:06, closed)

I hate you.
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:11, closed)

lol, aww, cummere you...
*hugs*

Now, stop hanging around here talking about girls' naughty bits and go gaz Janet.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:18, closed)

I imagine it would be flattering
In the same way "I could cut diamonds with your cock, it's that hard"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:36, closed)

"a cat couldn't scratch it"
is my favourite
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:47, closed)

I like the sound of Hulk snatch
The moment of transformation leaves the underwear in tatters, but leaves the shirt intact.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:39, closed)

Don't make it angry...
Or maybe it's the Purple Hulk Snatch - clever and broody, but always in hulk form, and not so strong.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:05, closed)

Tuppence of triumph
(DBS, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:24, closed)

YES!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:55, closed)

My Tube
When i had the snip, it was the same time the cadburys gorilla advert was launched, I lay watching it on the Nurses laptop while the doctor snipped away - I am so glad he didn'd decide to 'air drum'
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:16, closed)

I
had the snip a few years ago, and, when the doc was cauterizing the tubes, the radio playing in the background went "fffzzzzzzzzzztttnnnnnnggg"
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 21:54, closed)

You have to 'specul'ate to ovulate...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:50, closed)