Look at this useless parasite.


Go on, look at him. Look at him. Look at the little one. Who's dat? Who's dat den? Awwwwww.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:19, 21 replies)

ha i read that in Charlie Brookers voice

( Gawain the oven safe flan tin willy bum fart poo, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:30, closed)

^^^This!!

( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:21, closed)

Look at his left eye.
He's a James Bond villain in the making, I tell you.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:38, closed)

Sigh
My cat died last night.

So, yeah... umm... there you go. Ta, ta Dink.

meh
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:46, closed)

Sorry to hear that. Very sad thing to go through.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 0:51, closed)

awwwwwwww

(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 21:20, closed)

Cheers folks
He was 18, no teeth, broken ear, blind in one eye and had half a tail. Seriously top cat.
Cheers Dink
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 11:34, closed)

Cats are never useless.
Granted they'll never fetch your paper and slippers or bring you back that brace of pheasant you've just shot, but as far as (almost) unconditional love and companionship goes there's nothing better.

Big hug and bon courage to Spango.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:25, closed)

Bollocks
You're confusing them with dogs - dogs are always pleased to see you. Cats will eat your corpse if you die alone.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:29, closed)

Funny enough
That's exactly what Dink (the one that died) had to do before he came to us.

Dogs will too :)
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:36, closed)

My friends elderly neighbour died a few years ago and her two pet lurchers ate her face to stay alive

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:54, closed)

You are Marie Provost and Nick Lowe wrote a song about you and I claim my £5

(Rise and Fall of the Atomic Cabbage Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 9:43, closed)

Man's best friend
is not averse to snacking on him if needs be, and doesn't always wait until he is dead.


( electric_goat, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:18, closed)

Basically
Cats have servants, dogs have owners.

Cats are lone animals, dogs pack animals.

The most a cat sees in a human is a service. A dog sees a leader, a companion, a partner, and a friend.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:30, closed)

Not true.
Cats won't lift a proverbial finger if they don't feel like it, sure, but that doesn't mean they don't feel affection for their owners. Dogs see people as leaders for the same reason that some people join the Army - they need an authority figure in their lives. Cats just don't give a fuck, which suits me fine.

Plus I think some dogs would feast on your corpse without bothering to check whether you were dead or merely asleep, and think it was all a great game. Two friends of mine almost missed their own wedding because their prize pedigree dog spotted something white and ball-shaped and bit into it, discovering that it was in fact a rock and losing several teeth. I just don't have the patience for dogs and their bottomless enthusiasm. Cats have the strength of character to tell you to fuck off when they're not in the mood, much like me.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:54, closed)

Also dogs are facists
I mean, you will never see a police cat.
True story.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 9:41, closed)

I would sure hate for my corpse to be eaten if it was merely sleeping!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Tue 11 Jan 2011, 10:46, closed)

This has been asked before* - apparently, dogs will typically wait until they're almost starved before snacking on a dead owner, whereas cats will wait until dinnertime, if you're lucky (which you obviously aren't, having died alone and unnoticed).


_{* if you've not encountered straightdope before, you may lose a little time}
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 20:24, closed)

Oddly enough
I partly owe my current job to the fact that some scrote OD'd in his scummy flat and got his dead face ate by his Staffordshire Terrier.

It's a long story.
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 21:30, closed)

Howay then
I'm listening...
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:23, closed)

oh yeah
very fuckable
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 20:48, closed)