Never ignore your wife... (RP)
One of our kids' toys was playing up. When the little button was pressed, instead of playing "Old MacDonald had a farm", it would go "Pzt".

"Is it the batteries?" suggests the Amish Wife.

"No," I say, confidently, and proceed to dismantle the toy and check the wiring. This involves about 28 tiny screws and lots of fiddly bits going "sproing".

"Are you sure it's not the batteries?" suggests the Amish Wife again.

"Nooo," I say. "Look, it worked just now. Must have been a loose connection." I proceed to re-introduce all fiddly bits to their little recessed homes, and replace all 28 screws.

Triumphantly, I let out a sigh and press the button. "Pzt," it says.

"Why not try changing the batteries?" suggests the Amish Wife, timidly. I am rarely happy while doing DIY, what with tiny screws and bits that go "sproing".

"Bloody hell, woman, it's not the batteries. I've got a degree in electronics and ..." blah blah blah. The Amish Wife disappears again to go and weave some yoghurt or something.

After another fruitless disassembly and assembly, including checking that the switches work using a multimeter, I sheepishly try some new batteries... e i e i o.

So, I learned a valuable lesson: If you're not doing what your wife tells you, you're doing it wrong.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:14, 9 replies)

First rule.
if it doesn't work, plug it in. If it still doesn't work try another plug and or socket. Same for batteries.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:23, closed)

Occam's Razor.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:27, closed)

A screwdriver
would probably be of more use.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 15:25, closed)

I have done this
except I lost some of the bits that go sproing.

To be honest, the noises it made were so annoying it was a blessed relief.
( chthonic, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 13:33, closed)

Bits that go sproing
There is an official technical term for those bits that go sproing..

...they are known as 'pingfuckits'
(Smegma, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 22:19, closed)

hmmm
you're not a real amish, are you.......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 14:29, closed)

neither
is Martin Amish
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 16:07, closed)

nah
They were probably batteries made of wood.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 16 Nov 2012, 18:19, closed)

The Colonel learnt a long time ago....
... that he should always try what Lady Blink suggests first - no matter how ludicrous (like 'take some of the milk out the fridge and see if that stops it making that funny noise when you shut the door'), before moving on to the more engineering-based theories. That way when the ludicrous doesn't work, one can look pityingly at her and say 'can I try something a bit more considered, now?'. And when the ludicrous does work, one can claim that one had come to the same theory as well.

PS Removing the milk did stop the fridge making a funny noise - the extra weight was making the floorboard shift and rub against the skirting board when the motor was running......
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 17:10, closed)