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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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I got kicked in the bollocks once
It was very painful for a couple of minutes but then I was alright.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 12:45, 24 replies)
A couple of minutes?
Clearly they didn't do it properly.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 12:46, closed)
No I'm just quadruple hard
that's all
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 12:49, closed)
Quadriplegic more like.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 12:51, closed)
yeah, IN THE BOYS' SHOWERS!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 13:45, closed)
what you did there
I see it!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:08, closed)
That's what all the toilet attendants say.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:19, closed)
Sounds like it's time for a game of
roshambo. I'll have first go.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 13 Mar 2013, 13:55, closed)
i've always been intrigued as to what that particular pain is like
after asking several friends to describe it, i've come to the conclusion that it'd hurt for a lot longer than a couple of minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:07, closed)
the pain is very intense
but disappears completely after just a couple of minutes. but maybe that's only if you're a quadruple hard bastard, i'm not sure.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:08, closed)
i've been told
about half an hour is normal
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:17, closed)
if you're a pussy, ironically enough

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:21, closed)
i have noticed
that the bollock-kick is one fight-winning move that most men won't use
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:26, closed)
Like the inch punch, it works on detail instead of brute force.
It's possible to get kicked in the bollocks and just go "Oof" without it hurting much more than being kicked in the thigh if they miss the right spot.

However, done right, a strong tap in the right place can be crippling.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:34, closed)
hit a mate accidentally in the cock with a knitting needle once
haven't heard the end of it since.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:48, closed)
Ho ho ho.
But it's not the cock that's the problem - it's the balls.

And when they're as big as mine, they're your weak point.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:56, closed)
You have a big bollocks?
Can I touch them?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 15:06, closed)
By "touch" do you actually mean "gently caress"?
If so, get to the back of the queue.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 15:22, closed)
He's behind me then.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 2:02, closed)
After the initial "the universe has exploded" pain has subsided, there's a stomach ache that can last for several hours.
Thanks to a Wayne's World book my brother got for Christmas many years ago, this stomach ache will forever be referred to by he and I as "Wayne's Complaint"
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:33, closed)
i've heard of the stomach ache/sickness part
and been told it's like a bowling ball being churned around in your lower gut
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:49, closed)
I equate it more
to having someone do a Chinese burn on your kidneys
(I helped save b3ta! Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 23:14, closed)
The pain that begins it is bad
The sickness that follows is the worst part.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:42, closed)
there are times i'm really glad i'm not a bloke

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 14:49, closed)
alright

(alright alright, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 16:52, closed)

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