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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, ... 1

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My ex wife spoke 5 languages….
…but she was especially fluent in Bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 18 Jan 2024, 1:21, Reply)
Why did the night soil man lose his job?
He was only taking the piss!
(I helped save b3ta! the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Tue 16 Jan 2024, 3:10, Reply)
Where did Napoleon keep his leggies?
In his trouseries!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 15 Jan 2024, 19:11, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Why did the Shepherd fall asleep?
He was counting sheep.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 15 Jan 2024, 16:58, Reply)
What financial protection do seabirds use to cover their mortgages?
Tern Assurance!!!
(evening 'My stage name is DJ Teargas', Mon 15 Jan 2024, 13:40, Reply)
My dog is from a Royal Family…
…I call him Sir Shitsalot.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 14 Jan 2024, 17:28, 4 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
My dog's got no eyes
How does it smell?
fsh
(Smug Bastard LOL, Sun 14 Jan 2024, 15:26, Reply)
What did Frosty the Snowman change his name to when he thawed out?
Paul
(CleverLittlePIg, Thu 11 Jan 2024, 15:10, Reply)
What did the cat say to the horse?
Meow.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 8 Jan 2024, 18:09, 2 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
What is Ursula K. Le Guin's favourite Excel function?
ERFC
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Sat 6 Jan 2024, 9:06, Reply)
Why does Santa have so many children?
Because he emptied his sacks.
(Keroscene, Sat 6 Jan 2024, 1:31, Reply)
Can you write a joke about The Porcupine From Purgatory please?

Sure, here's a joke about "The Porcupine From Purgatory":

Why did the Porcupine from Purgatory refuse to play cards?

Because he was afraid of getting stuck with the spades!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 5 Jan 2024, 13:21, 7 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
What smells like a horse and is loved by little old ladies everywhere?
Horse cock
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 5 Jan 2024, 12:52, Reply)
I was playing Hide and Seek with some cleaning products.
And i started to give up, i shouted "Olly Olly Oxiclean!"
(FrenchBoast, Thu 4 Jan 2024, 22:34, 9 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Which rock band from New Jersey toured the Island of Dr. Moreau?
My Chimerical Romance!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 1 Jan 2024, 0:56, Reply)
My Proctologist gives me the same gift every year…
…a Christmas Goose!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 25 Dec 2023, 0:53, Reply)
what's god's favourite woodworking tool when he's angry?
a Smitre Saw!
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 24 Dec 2023, 10:01, Reply)
What is god's mode of transportation when he's angry?
Smotercar
(I helped save b3ta! gub~gub, Sat 23 Dec 2023, 15:04, Reply)
What is the one thing a seaman desires the most?
A Land Ho.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 22 Dec 2023, 13:50, Reply)
I drank a bottle of Jack Daniels and came up with f{x}=2x×y.
I'm a functioning alcoholic.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 19 Dec 2023, 23:22, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
I was watching Adele’s latest driver safety video
Rolling in the Jeep
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 18 Dec 2023, 5:53, Reply)
Which Strictly judge is so dense that they provide stability to the whole show?
Dame Shirley Ballast
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 17 Dec 2023, 11:33, 2 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
I tried a cannabis/Satanic blend...and...
...it made me sick sick sick.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 16 Dec 2023, 17:28, 2 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
I tried a cannabis/ Christian blend …and….
OH MY GOD…HOLY SHIT!!!..
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 15 Dec 2023, 4:05, Reply)
Which Beck album is a concept album related to him trying to buy a hawaiian flower necklace online?
Midnite Vultures
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Thu 14 Dec 2023, 8:55, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
Which Beck album is best taken with milk?
Au de lait
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 13 Dec 2023, 22:10, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
Why are yodellers always behind on their repayments?
Owe delay
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 12 Dec 2023, 22:34, Reply)
On the way to the station yesterday I passed a charity shop and someone had left a scrabble set outside
but some kids must have got to it and there were tiles scattered everywhere.

I thought "On no! this could spell disaster!"
(karnuvap, Mon 11 Dec 2023, 21:35, Reply)
Did you know that the very first Santa refused to wear undergarments?
His name was Saint Knickerless.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 9 Dec 2023, 22:42, Reply)

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