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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 46, 45, 44, 43, 42, 41, ... 1

Tell Us Your Story »

Which recently deceased chat show host is the notice I carved out of ice asking people not to leave their vehicles in front of my driveway?
My cool parking sign!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 22:30, Reply)
Which recently deceased chat show host fucked a bitch and fathered a pup?
Michael Barkin' son!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 18:30, Reply)
Did you hear about the religious guy who was into footwear?
He’s a Bootist Monk.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:06, 7 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
I'm launching a new website, AirTNT
It's for those wanting selfcratering accommodation
(, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 5:01, Reply)
For my birthday, my wife gave me a list of websites selling police restraints
I told her I wanted a new set of cufflinks
(, Mon 14 Aug 2023, 0:53, Reply)
arseboon dilbaro

(, Sun 13 Aug 2023, 23:18, 4 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
I'm more of a practical joker
I once posted a "Question of the week" to my moribund flebsite but I let it run for 5 (five) years!

What a lark eh?
(, Tue 8 Aug 2023, 11:11, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
arseboon dilbaro

(, Mon 7 Aug 2023, 15:49, 4 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
What do Amber Heard and Elon Musk have in common?
Both shit on their ex's
(, Mon 7 Aug 2023, 3:46, Reply)
Which singer has a deliciously meaty flavour?
Umami Sandé.
(, Sun 6 Aug 2023, 11:26, Reply)
What did the Munster call his penis?
Pee Wee Herman
(, Sat 5 Aug 2023, 18:27, Reply)
Which singer was eaten by a puffin?
Emeli Sand-eel.
(, Thu 3 Aug 2023, 14:18, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
Did you hear about the Dragnet spin-off, set in Zürich?
The gnomes were changed to protect the innocent
(, Wed 2 Aug 2023, 11:58, Reply)
What did the egg say after it was laid by a chicken off its tits on methylphenidate?
I'm sorry, I've Ritalin yolk.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2023, 21:05, Reply)
What did the lesbian cheating with a man say when she apologized to her partner?
I'm sorry, I've ridden a bloke.
(, Tue 1 Aug 2023, 21:03, Reply)
For which German singer, songwriter and sex pest is every day a schoolday?
TIL Lindemann
(, Fri 28 Jul 2023, 11:35, 6 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
I asked a friend where I should go to get a replica of the brunette Strictly Come Dancing hostess.
He said "not Tesco".
(, Tue 25 Jul 2023, 13:18, Reply)
I asked a friend where I should go to buy some whips and chains and a gimp mask and a butt plug.
He said "Not M. & S."
(, Thu 20 Jul 2023, 0:15, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
I asked my friend where I should go to buy a guinea pig.
He said "Not Poundland."
(, Wed 19 Jul 2023, 10:03, 10 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
Did you hear about the dinosaur who temporarily played football for a different club than the one he was contracted to?
He got loaned!
(, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 13:51, 4 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
Claustrophobia: Fear of being stuck in a small space with Santa.

(, Fri 14 Jul 2023, 5:27, Reply)
How did the nazi justify shooting someone during the main course?
He was only following hors d'oeuvres
(, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 22:39, Reply)
Did you hear about the dinosaur who went to the gym to improve his physique but ended up falling into the photocopier which was at the gym for some reason?
He got toned!
(, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 22:05, Reply)
Did you hear about the dinosaur who tried a tar/cannabis blend?
He got stoned! i.e. he got stuck in the tar and his bones eventually turned into fossils
(, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:41, 8 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
I wanted to try a cannabis/ acrophobia blend…
But was afraid of getting too high.
(, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 0:27, Reply)
Which Radio 1 DJ has a large oval body, narrow cylindrical neck and two handles that rise almost to the level of her mouth?
Clara Amfora!
(, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 21:15, Reply)
Which Radio 1 DJ is is an antifungal medication used for serious fungal infections and leishmaniasis?
Clara Amphotericin!
(, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 13:56, Reply)
How do you camouflage an egg?
Paint it brown and green like everything else.
(, Sun 9 Jul 2023, 18:52, 4 replies, latest was 11 months ago)
You can get a Manx cat fixed at any high street retailer.

(, Sun 9 Jul 2023, 8:17, 1 reply, 11 months ago)
If there are 26 tankers waiting to dock, each identified by a different letter of the alphabet, which tanker contains all the gin?

Tanker A.
(, Sun 9 Jul 2023, 8:10, Reply)

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