My story
Hi QOTW, I'm not looking for pity here or for one of you to Gaz me your breasts, which I like, I just want to make sure this doesn't happen to you.

In 1996 I received an email from [email protected], she was an art student living in New York but to pay the bills she worked as a stripper in a bar called Orlando's. We emailed each other and then as the internet developed we shared good times on MSN, Beebo, Myspace and facebook. I didn't realise at first but Kitty and I were falling in love.

Last year I decided to visit Kitty and propose to her, I went out and got a haircut and borrowed my Grandad's suit and flew out to the airport. She said that she was going to meet me there.

When I arrived, Kitty wasn't there but a large African-American man who gave his name as Bernard said he was Kitty's brother and was going to drive me out to her house. Oh if only I hadn't been so naive!

Bernard was actually driving me out to the woods where a group of paying customers took it in turns to have brutal sex with me, only after he stole all my money and my passport.

Kitty later emailed me to say that she'd been delayed that day and it was someone from Orlando's who had taken advantage. I'm going out to visit her at the end of the month.

Let this be a lesson to you b3ta, don't trust people at airports!
( WormuIus, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 11:25, 2 replies)

I would like to meat a few of the female members on here

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 11:09, 5 replies)

OMG
A Vagabond wants to meet me!
(speedevil, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I don't want to meet any of the people below this post.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:50, 2 replies)

FIRST!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

OMG Batsgirl fucked Flibz!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:59, 9 replies)

The good thing about the internet is that
you can really lay into people safe in the knowledge that they can't punch you in the face (until they find out where you live, obviously).

As one person on a messageboard told me, "VAGINABOND U R A MORRONN!!!!!!!!!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:26, 7 replies)

Operation Fox Hunt
O.K. So, I technically haven't met Rupert Fucking Murdoch - yet.

But I know him well from the poisonous, lying BULLSHIT he has fed my country for too long. In print, the airwaves and on my lovely internet.

If you have met an Australian with some alarmingly ignorant thick-headed ideals, odds are even that that is a Murdoch-'educated' zombie. And sadly there are millions of them.

Britain will FOREVER be my idol for showing the way and having the balls to stand up to him. That pie got very little play here. Because
...dun dun dunnnnn....

70% of the media in Ausfailure is owned by Murdoch.

No, I haven't met him - but we are coming for him.
And we are legion.
I hope he expects us.


click this. click it like a poorly-trained chimp if you want people to know they are not alone in this.

click it if you are insulted by the complete lack of integrity shown by those we entrusted - and paid well - to provide us with whole, unbiased information and you want your freedom of mind, and your money, back.

click it because, sweet holy fuck, I appear to be utterly shameless in regards to this matter :S


.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Thu 27 Oct 2011, 1:46, 28 replies)

hoo boy.
So while doing a project on the perverse things that strangers are allowed to say to each other on the internet, I became very curious about a man who had answered every ad I had posted in Los Angeles. Always the same ironic t-shirt and mustache picture and some semi-witty words. Drunk one night (most nights), I emailed him back from some random filthy ad he had responded to and I was inebriatedly curious enough meet him for a drink. I walked into a dark bar and could still make out the pockmarks that had not been clear in the photo and was immediately creeped out. I ordered my own drink and left the one he had gotten for me untouched. We hung out for ten minutes and I escaped with pat on the back.
However, upon arriving home, I cross referenced his email to see exactly which of my gross ads he had answered. And I was horrified. He answered one ad about 14 times. It was a casual encounters post about a girl who had psoriasis but could still bang. Turns out he had been covered over 99% of his body, had radical experimental treatment, and was super horny for somebody who would understand. He included pictures of his ass and his penis covered in eczema in the treatment room.
Further investigation showed he had worked on some sexy porno hidden camera show that I managed to catch on the Playboy Channel (I had lots of male roommates) so I got to see him have sex on screen as well.
Lucky me.
(if you're curious to see the psoriasis ad and the gross things he wrote you can look here: filthynotesfromstrangers.com/wordpress/?page_id=189 )
( landfearing sometimes a jerk, mostly unintentional, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 1:22, Reply)

I've met more than my share of b3tans. I'm marrying one next year as it happens.
Many of the b3tans I have met I now count as 'real life' friends, and I love them dearly. They've been there when things were shitter than shit, and they will be there on my wedding day, helping drink all the booze and filling the guest book with crudely drawn cocks.

I wouldn't have it any other way.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 23:38, 2 replies)

i think i became quite infamous
for meeting people from b3ta...
( evil pixie, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 22:13, 5 replies)

Belongs on links but fits better here so meh.

The internet: its full of loonies just dying to meet you. NSFW for F word.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieeNvciXULM
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Wifey says I should update the story.
QOTW ages ago, got this answer from me. www.b3ta.com/questions/gooutwithme/post231715
Yay for Gaydar Girls, met the Bitch that is now my wifey.
Met her on Gaydar Girls ( gaydargirls.co.uk/tour/sitetour.asp )been together ever since and love her to bits. She got me through my motorbike test thanks to her being a Senior Instructor and then we went to my first Billdog Bash together this year.
So yeah, woo yay, meeting people off the internet is just awesome.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 20:49, 13 replies)

It's all about the money
While travelling around the USA in 2005 I met Rob of Cockeyed.com. He introduced me to Chipotle and we played a round of "how much is inside Rob's wallet" when I realised I'd left mine at the house.

Over mouthsful of burrito, we got chatting about his site's income from Google ads. He said he was looking for potentially profitable experiment ideas which would generate high-cost adverts on his pages and, hopefully, a fatter slice for his eager pockets. Famously, mining-related lung disease ads are the most expensive but "how much is inside a diseased lung" might not have been the most ethical episode.

At the time I was working for a car accessories website and, off the top of my head, I recalled that alloy wheel ads were the priciest that I was buying at the time. Not two years later the following experiment just happened to show up on Cockeyed: Spinning Rim Centrifuge Experiment.

With any luck, the extra revenue paid for the burrito and we're quits. You don't want to owe money to a guy with solar ray gun at his disposal.
( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 17:26, 2 replies)

Pearoast time!
it was through match.com some years ago. I had put up my profile again after the Travel Agent moved out, and was trawling the waters to see what sort of nibbles I might get. What the hell, said I to myself- I had had good luck in the past with it, after all.

One of the women who contacted me was a dental hygienist who ran her own school to train dental hygienists, the divorced wife of a local (and quite successful) dentist. Her emails were nice, and when we exchanged phone numbers she sounded quite pleasant- very cheerful and bouncy, talking almost nonstop as though she had just had four shots of espresso, and rather funny. So I did what one does in those circumstances and suggested getting together for coffee.

"Coffee? Well, I guess... but I'd really rather have a drink."

Hmmmm, we got a live one here, I thought. "Sure, I'm good with that. Where would you like to meet?"

"Well, could you come and pick me up at my house?"

A bit unusual, but what the hell... "Sure. When would you like me there?"

"Just come on over." And she gives me directions to her house.

So I drove over there and found her to be in a rather large house in a new subdivision. I ring the doorbell and am greeted by a six foot woman with very long frizzy black hair, deep brown eyes and a lighthouse smile. She gave me a hug- actually, quite nice as she was wearing a tank shirt and snug shorts- and followed me to my car. She suggested a Mexican restaurant not far away and I agreed.

We had gone maybe five minutes down the road before she started telling me about how she had had a bikini wax that afternoon, and went into detail. Lots of detail.

We got to the restaurant and she ordered food and tequila. Okay, I thought, she's not driving, she's hungry, and at least she's eating while she's drinking. I got food and a beer and sat back to listen. The conversation went from dental hygienist training to her former career as a stripper, and as the tequila vanished the details came out faster. She told me all about what it was like, and how one of the most erotic experiences she ever had was when she went to another club and a young blonde gave her a lap dance and kissed her.

By now I was really trying very hard not to either laugh or scream, but I could tell it was only a matter of time. After several more rounds and a lot of animated talk, we paid the bill and I drove her home. She asked me in and I went along, mainly out of a sort of horrid fascination to see what was coming next. She poured us another couple of drinks, and the conversation again turned to stripping and how she had gotten implants to make her boobs match the rest of her proportions.

"Implants?" I repeated, a bit taken aback.

"Yeah, take a look!" And the shirt was pulled up. They popped out, unhindered by a bra. "See, they don't feel quite right, though." And she took my hands and put them on her boobs and pressed them firmly into her.

"Umm... yeah, I guess you're right..." I gasped somewhat weakly. By now my mind was thoroughly blown and my head was spinning. I finally made my excuses- I was far too flipped out by her to shag, and besides she was pretty well drunk- and stood to go. But as we stood by the door I gave in to an impulse and gave her a long, powerful kiss as I leaned back with my arms around her, lifting her slightly off the floor. (A great trick- it takes their breath away and makes them feel light, and makes it very intense.) As expected, she got extremely aroused and responded rather urgently- but I broke away and headed home before anything further could happen.

As I drove home I tried to sort out the evening, got the giggles, then gave in and screamed a few times and went belming down the road. Okay, I thought, that was the most surreal first date I've ever had. Must have been a one-off, though- she must have had a couple before I got there. I can't imagine that this is something that would happen again...

I was wrong.

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that when she had a couple of drinks in her she became quite the handful. We went out a few times more, and on one date she had enough vodka and cranberry to be weaving a bit, and was not playing pool very well by then. She was wearing a lace shirt with a red bra- the only time I've seen her wearing one- and said something joking to a couple of guys at the bar. They laughed and joked back with her, and she leaned in and said something else- and suddenly they scattered from her as though she had turned into Beelzebub. I still don't know what she said, but it was about as close as that black dude will ever come to being white...

That was when I swore off dating.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:01, 5 replies)

Yes, it was to go to see a band
and here's a picture!
photos.timchuma.com/BarbarionEPLaunch201110/photo33.html

That's OK, I was wearing this also
photos.timchuma.com/BarbarionEPLaunch201110/photo2.html
(TimChuma, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:31, 2 replies)

Crumbs
Dunno where to start really.

I think most of my good friends are online ones these days. Back in the days of the Channel 4 forums I met my (now) husband, my best friend and some other really good friends, who are also now either married or living together, came to our wedding etc.

Since I've been a bit poorly I've made tons of good friends through health forums (you learn to dodge the nutters) and these are people I am in close contact with every day, have met up with a few of them and planning on meeting more in the future.

I have a lot to thank the interwebs for really *wells up* I don't make friends very easily in 'real life', I am too guarded and it takes me a long time to trust people but I feel like you can get a lot more out of them via emails and messengers and really get to know the person well.

I knew I wanted to marry my husband after reading a few of his posts, seeing that his sense of humour was the same as mine and that we just clicked. Naaaww!
(Chicken Little This signature has been left blank., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 11:42, 1 reply)

they've all been drummers
The bands been going for 9 years, in this time we've had 13 drummers. So This is Spinal Tap is more accurate than first thought. 4 of these drummers we have met through the internet. The current one, and best (mainly because he's still in the band) was actually one of my groomsmen at my wedding. He's 6foot 7 too, big sod that he is.

And he's a farmer who's seeing a german bird.

I'd love'd to have made this up...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 11:34, 6 replies)