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This is a question My job: Expectation vs Reality

When I worked as a window cleaner, everybody - and I mean everybody - I knew asked me the "how's yer father" question. The truth was that I was always knackered and freezing, and the only nudity I saw was some fat bloke's arse. Tell us how your work differs from the expectation.

Thanks to Rotating Wobbly Hat for the idea

(, Thu 8 May 2014, 22:21)
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The best man for the job
This is not my story, but I was there, so I feel I can tell it.

After living in a shared house for some time, we were finally leaving. The landlord had decided to do some redecorating, and on our last day he turned up with his decorator. After going around the house and discussing all the things he wanted doing, with the decorator nodding and making notes, he then left to let him get on with it.

As soon as the door closed, the decorator flipped his bucket over, sat down on it, took out an impressively large spliff and fired it up, then looked around at us and said:

"So. Any of you lot know anything about painting and decorating? Cos I fucking don't!"
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 14:30, 31 replies)
Ah, a professional!

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 14:51, closed)
How can someone *not* know anything about it?

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 14:55, closed)

he was an unemployed otter-handler trying to make a few quid
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 14:58, closed)
Then it's easy.
1. Dip otter in paint
2. Aggravate otter
3. ???
4. Profit!
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:38, closed)
OK - so reference to aggravating otters for profit made me do a lol.

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:46, closed)
The silly mare meant to say - agitate. LOL

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 16:02, closed)

I preferred the image of paint moving from can and otter to walls powered solely by lutrine rage
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 23:59, closed)
I didn't know the word 'lutrine', so thanks.

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 11:53, closed)

Your homework for this week is to use 'lutrine' in at least 5 contexts, one of which must be a forum signature text.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 15:13, closed)
Thank you.
So did I.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 13:17, closed)
Ok, who are you and why do you have me on ignore you great big dribbling cock-end?

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:42, closed)
Because you touch yourself.

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 16:14, closed)
At the very least, everyone should know about
finger painting and cup-cake decorating...

Then they can extrapolate from there.
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:25, closed)
At least he didn't show up plastered.

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:41, closed)
needs more otters apparently

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:55, closed)
seems legit
I'm clicking this even without a mention of otters.
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 15:58, closed)
I bet the landlord was Albert Marshmallow and as he only believes in paying peanuts to his
property maintenance people.
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 16:03, closed)

Pay peanuts, get monkeys...oh, wait a minute...
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 16:30, closed)
didn't he claim he had no tenants and was just keeping his imaginary property pristine for sale in one of his more recent flights of fancy?
I'm struggling even to pretend to caste any more.
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 17:05, closed)
That was the gist.

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 18:28, closed)

Only the ones that I'm flipping - do keep up pizza-boy.
(, Tue 13 May 2014, 19:22, closed)
the most valuable thing you've ever flipped is an asda economy burger, billyboy

(, Wed 14 May 2014, 12:44, closed)

Do calm down, you'll do yourself a mischief.
(, Wed 14 May 2014, 13:58, closed)

(, Tue 13 May 2014, 16:04, closed)

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