A bit Off Topic
I just want to tell my fellow b3tans that my wife and i our expecting are first baby in July. I am absolutley shitting myself. Does any body have any tips? Is it also true that you cant smell your own babies poo? I cant do Poo.


Ill get my coat
(The Sitmpwa, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 5:06, 12 replies)

Baby poo doesn't have any smell for the first few months.
It starts having smell after you've gotten used to the texture. Congrats on the pending arrival!

I'd suggest these 2 books:
www.amazon.com/Girlfriends-Guide-Pregnancy-Vicki-Iovine/dp/B0002TX524/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208492918&sr=1-1

www.amazon.com/Girlfriends-Guide-Surviving-First-Motherhood/dp/0399523308/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208492918&sr=1-11

Be sure to read them both BEFORE giving birth. After the baby arrives, you'll not have time.

I had absolutely no understanding of or knowledge of kids or babies before my first kid. The first time I even held a baby, it was my own. The first time I changed a diaper, it was my baby. I had my first at 27. Of all the books I read and all the advice I sought, those two were absolutely the most helpful for me and the (then) husband.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 5:34, closed)

Congratulations
I would say, either read loads of books, or none at all. That is because they all give totally different advice. You can pick and choose the advice which suits you. If you only read one book, you'll always think you're doing it "wrong".

Secondly, poo - it actually smells quite nice (in a kind of farmyard way) until they start on solids, by which time you'll be too immune to notice.
(mzungu, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 7:39, closed)

Congrats!
I have 2. Children that is. It's not that it doesn't smell, I won't lie, sometimes it doesn't, most of the time it can make your eyes water and strip paint.

But curiously, it doesn't bother you. Anyone else's shit, couldn't go near, there's no worries.

You'll be fine.
(RickGrimes Quite frankly, disappointed on, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 8:41, closed)

I found
That after a while ALL you can smell is your babies poo.

Sometimes it makes you want to rip your face off.
(oeb, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 10:03, closed)

Baby poo doesn't smell?????
who said that baby poop doesn't smell until they start on solids??? my boys poop stank for the first couple of weeks - and no-one tells you to expect green - and I mean green - poop? What the fuck is that all about?
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 11:29, closed)

Very small children are like kittens
Keep them clean, give them something bright and shiny to play with and they'll be fine.
The crying thing comes in a number of different flavours ranging from "I actually want something" through "Pay me some attention NOW damn you" to "Will someone shut that bloody baby up!"*
Baby poo stinks, baby vomit is worse, make damn sure you never ever ever get any on a carpet, the stench of partially digested milk doesn't come out.
Sez I, having dealt with one niece, one nephew and two sisters.
None of my own.

*Yes, some babies hate the sound of crying so much that they will wail themselves into dehydration at their own howling. Stick your fingers in their ears.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 12:46, closed)

Congratualtions
Me n Boblady have been broody ever since she had a minor miscarriage. No pain, not much mess, it was just like a period, only about 7 weeks pregnant, but since then, we have been very broody. Waiting til we are out of Uni though.
Anyway, good luck, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but just remember they are human, and ur not gonna fuck things up any more than ur parents did!
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:23, closed)

3 pieces of advice
1. Poo smells. Anyone who says it doesn't is either insane, or is constantly covered in the stuff to the point that they can't smell it any more.

2. If your good lady is told to 'feed on demand' by a midwife, or anyone else for that matter, you are legally permitted to shoot them on the spot. It's absolute pish. The sooner you get them into a routine of feeding every 3-4 hours, the better for everyone.

3. Never let them into your bed during the night. First thing in the morning when they get up is fine, but not during the night. Never. Ever. Or you will never have an uninterrupted night's sleep again. You have been warned.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:27, closed)

Bestest book ever
"Fatherhood - The Truth" by Marcus Berkman I think.

As for poo, you'll be so knackered for the first few weeks that by the time your nose switches back on, you'll be used to it.

That sleep-deprived time will seem like hell on earth and then suddenly 'BING' Junior will kip through the night, and you no longer want to throw the baby out of a second floor window at 4am.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 12:09, closed)

^^^^
... and you'll wake up in the morning with a strange sensation.

refreshed after a good night's sleep.
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 21:30, closed)

You'll get used to it.
After being covered in vomit a couple of times and having snot rubbed into your clothes, the squick factor fades pretty fast.

We did pretty well with the "What To Expect When You're Expecting" books.

Main tip- don't get ultra paranoid about whether or not things have been sterilized. Washing the bottles with hot water and soap is enough. After all, they didn't emerge from a sterile environment- they were shoved out through your lady's mimsy, and said lady may have shat the bed in the process. Sterilizing everything after that seems a bit silly, don't you agree?

...well, except for sterilizing yourself, but you want to wait until you're done with the urge to reproduce.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 22 Apr 2008, 18:30, closed)

Write the Reverend Fister's advice in LARGE LETTERS
and keep it where you can see it.

Routine is the secret - and babies do tend to fall into a natural one anyway. They (like small children and many adults) like routine - it gives them boundaries and a sense of security.

Newborns often cry a great deal because they've spent the last few months in a restricted dark environment. So tuck them up - the old fashioned swaddling - it works. And don't let them get over-stimulated with lots of bright lights, visitors and entertainment - quiet calmness is great for everyone.

I'd love to say 'enjoy it!' but the baby stage will seem to last a lifetime while you're in it and be over in a flash before you know it.

Good luck.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 22:32, closed)