This was from an off-topic reply of mine last QOTW
Good:
Genetic continuity
Look after you when you're old
Can eat them if times are hard
Throw them to distract the zombies

Bad:
Smell
Expensive
Noise
Hassle
Your partner might die giving birth
Can't do all the stuff you'd like to
Negative impact on sex life(Can anyone confirm or deny this?)
No refund policy if you get a bad one


I've not got children, and I don't think I want any.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 12:54, 15 replies)

..
If you get a bad one, can't you just sell it for a profit?

No? Times have changed you say?

Shame.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 12:56, closed)

Negative impact on sex life?
Well, that depends on your tastes, surely... Might open up whole new avenues.


/coat
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 12:56, closed)

Mr. Enzyme
I'm shocked!

That I didn't think of that
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 12:58, closed)

I don't understand the 'they can look after you when you're old' argument for having children.
Do any of us here look after our parents now?

Surely people will help you when you're old and feeble if you simply take the precaution of not being a grumpy old cunt?
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:04, closed)

vastly negative effect on sex life
nothing is every the same again afterwards, or as often.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:13, closed)

Negative impact on sex life
Definitely.
1. Hormones while breastfeeding subdue female libido.
2. The mother may have tearing and tenderness below which can take a year to heal.
3. The father may be traumatised by the de-sexualisation of seeing his offspring come out of / feed from his partner's jubbly bits (that's a technical term).
4. You're both so knackered at the end of the day all you want to do is crack open the merlot and watch Lewis (or crack open the WKD and watch Corrie, depending on taste).
5. You're both so drunk after (4) that anything else is out of the question.
(mzungu, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:18, closed)

All of these replies
Have just served to confirm that donating to a sperm bank is the way forward.

I'd like to pass my genes on, but not have the hassle.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:40, closed)

Unfortunately
You still have the possibility of being hammered for child support, now that the man's right to anonymity has gone out of the window. Or something. I almost considered it myself a few years back - imagine being paid to wank???

Sperm donation has dropped by a huge degree in the UK as a result of that barn-arsed logic.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:47, closed)

^^ Well...
What if I have an identical twin brother, and fill in his name and details?
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:51, closed)

^ it could work...
Go for it!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 13:58, closed)

Er...
I don't have a twin :(

I guess I could just use false details...

Of someone I know, of course, for added comedy potential down the line.
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:00, closed)

sex life
It goes back to normal after a while, My sex life went back to normal about two weeks after my kids mother and I split up.
(oeb, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:04, closed)

Kaol
As long as it's not me...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:13, closed)

Hmmm...
I don't know if filling a form out as:

Name: Davros' Grandad
Address: B3ta.com, The Internet.

Would work...
( Cawl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:15, closed)

Has anyone else read
we need to talk about Kevin? That alone is enough to put me off them for life.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 15:12, closed)