I have little day to day contact with children
but one instance that does stick in the mind happened a few months ago.

I was at my desk wading through technical inquiries when my desk phone rang. I picked it up and answered it. I was greeted with a small querulous voice of a boy or about 11 or 12 years of age.

BOY "Err, my father owns a pair of your *********** loudspeakers (name removed to protect my anonymity) (£3500) and the tweeter has been dinged, is a replacement available and how much is it?

ME "Could you define *dinged*?"

BOY "Well it had a football hit it and crumple the front quite badly."

ME (imagining the limb numbing panic that is likely coursing through his veins) "I see. Looking at the parts list here, I have them in stock- its £260 plus shipping. The chances are that the dealer will need to fit it however."

BOY- in tiny voice. "Oh."

And with that he starts to cry.

ME- "Am I to assume that your father isn't aware of the damage and probably had some strong views about footballs in the vicinity of his hifi?"

BOY- "He's back tomorrow- oh God he's going to kill me."

ME- "Generally parents don't kill their offspring."

BOY- "You don't understand, he loves those speakers. There must be something you can do."

ME- "Do you have any money at all?"

BOY- "I have £40 as an allowance for the holidays."

ME "And where are you?"

BOY "I'm in *****" (As it turned out, not a million miles from a dealer friend of mine).

Pause

ME "OK- This is what I am going to do as I have been in this position myself. I am going to ship the part free. I am going to contact a friend of mine where I suspect the speakers came from and he will come and fit the part. You are going to have to give him the £40. This will mean it is a very expensive game of football but you may escape with your life. There is one other thing you will have to do though."

BOY- *sniffs* What is it?

ME- "You're going to have to tell your Dad what happened."

BOY- "But, but he doesn't have to find out."

ME- "But then however there would be no repercussions and no lesson learned. In telling him, you can show that through creative thinking- and crying, you got the problem sorted at your expense."

BOY- "How would you know if I don't?"

ME- "I have your name and house address. I can check. Besides your Dad will ask where the £40 went."

BOY- "Oh."

Details were confirmed and my friend went and fitted the tweeter the following morning. Some days later a package with letter arrived from the boy's father.

Dear Mr Hatred,
Just a quick note to say I received ****'s blubbing confession as per your instructions on my return. I was sufficiently impressed at his ingenuity to spare his life although he is unlikely to see daylight again in 2008.

Enclosed is further proof of a satisfactory resolution to this unfortunate event.

Regards
X

It was a popped football.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:11, 14 replies)

Fantastic
*clicks*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:17, closed)

That is a wonderful story
*Big click*
( Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:18, closed)

The mix of compassion & humanity, in this story
Are delightfully offset by the bitter tinge of regret and consequence.

Therefore I like it.
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:19, closed)

T'riffic
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:49, closed)

Nice!
*clicks*
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:51, closed)

perfect
*click*
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:02, closed)

Aw, I love this!
Click!
(Raelene, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:02, closed)

fuck yeah!
CLLLLLLLLLICK!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:50, closed)

*smiles*
*clicks*
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:03, closed)

This line alone
"But then however there would be no repercussions and no lesson learned. In telling him, you can show that through creative thinking- and crying, you got the problem sorted at your expense."

Makes it for me!
Fantastic story!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:18, closed)

Spot On
"I was sufficiently impressed at his ingenuity to spare his life although he is unlikely to see daylight again in 2008."

Good restraint there as well.

*Clicky*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:32, closed)

fecking awesome
*click*
(Patfish, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:18, closed)

wonderful.
*click*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 19:07, closed)

Nice one....
....I like your style! *Click*
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 20:08, closed)