I wasn't going to reply to this QOTW
but I will (I've only read the first few pages so far)

Anyway, to put it bluntly, I fucking HATE kids, I don't even like my own that much never mind anyone else’s bundles of joy shit (I wouldn't have had any if I'd been given the choice, but that's a certain type of woman for you - yes I should have worn a condom... 12 yrs too late for that advice),

'Yes' they say and do funny things every now and again but the noise, expense, the inability to go out with your friends and go on holiday without them is a real drag and far outweighs the delight of little Johnny saying ‘look Daddy, I’ve done another Poo on the carpet’ or telling Granny to fuck off at the age of 2 (the kid, not Granny)


Examples:

One of the guys at work is always saying shit like 'Ahh.. Thomas has learnt to say 'Why' - fucking magic! like I really give 2 flying fucks, more fool him for teaching him the word.
We also get every bug going around not to mention when his Missus brings the little chap in to grab or mice/keyboards and such like, oh the joy!

Why do people insist on taking kids on holiday before they reach 10? What’s the point? They won’t remember where you went and most likely what you did also, send them to the outlaws and enjoy your holiday without them and save some cash too and more importantly your kids won’t be pissing off the couples around the pool (who sensibly left their little mini thems at home) by screaming for fucking ice creams every 5 minutes!

I have to pay about £200 per year more to go to select places that don’t allow children – why should I? just because some parents take their kids out of school so they can save a few quid by missing the rush, I think you should be fined if you do that!

Supermarkets too, why can’t you go shopping whilst the kids are at school? So us sensible kid free people can choose our groceries without tripping over 2’ tall twats whose mothers can’t control, even my Ex who incidentally takes a third of my wages off me every month to sit on her fat fucking arse claiming benefits, goes to Tesco’s during the day because it’s quieter.

I went for a nice quiet drink with the better half yesterday and we were quietly having a nice chat when all of a sudden 3 kids went past screaming ‘you can’t catch me’ at the top of their voices, WTF? Where are the parents I thought? Anyway after 5 mins of listening to this I could see other people getting pissed off, so I complained to the bar staff, who got the parents and when the Mother/Auntie came over she said ‘come on boys and girls’ and with that all the kids dived under peoples tables! What??? I would have twatted mine if they’d even thought about doing that.

If parents gave their kids some discipline to start with then this country wouldn’t be the shit tip that it is.

On a slight tangent:
I get mine once a month for the weekend and treat them to all sorts of stuff like, skating/bowling/cinema to educational stuff like the science museum or the zoo etc.. and the thanks I get? Fuck all!

It’s not the kids fault really, we try to instil manners, but we’re on a loosing battle seeing as we don’t have them very often and their mother obviously doesn’t give a shit and would rather buy them DS’s, Wii’s, PS3’s etc (with my fucking money I might add) and dump them in a different room out of the way.

Sorry – Rant over.

I must be getting old??


Kip
(Kip, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:04, 35 replies)

I'm guessing you have a hangover today.
Or it's your time of the man-month...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:09, closed)

I dunno,
I'd be fuckin' pissed off if I had to give a third of my wages to some sponger.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:11, closed)

You don't have to teach kids the word, 'Why'
They pick it up on their own.
Isiah Berlin said that children are natural philosophers as they instinctively question everything.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:12, closed)

"natural philosophers"
Or annoying creatures?

I'd take the latter.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:15, closed)

marry me
I'm a guy, but hey...
(Super Oaf Petit filous?, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:24, closed)

Supermarkets
Well, I work all day. I'm out at 7, home at 7. So I COULDN'T be in the shops during normal hours.

Though I also don't have kids.

My mum's solution used to be to get away from work a little earlier and go to the shops, THEN pick us up after school.

And kids in pubs should just not be allowed. At least unless they behave. I mean it's one of the last refuges for adults.

Finally, I agree. Taking kids out of school early to miss the rush and save a few quid should be a fining offence. £1,000 per child oughta stop them! Send out bulletins about it from the schools and on the TV, make it clear that it'll not be tolerated before they sign up for the school and then fine the pricks who put a few quid ahead of their kids education.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:28, closed)

@Kaol
Both - philosophers are generally fucking annoying people to talk to.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:29, closed)

^^ Agreed
Although most people irritate me when I talk to them.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:39, closed)

that has to be one of the saddest rants ever
what a fantastic father you must be 'i don't even like my own that much'

your fat arsed lazy benefit sponger ex takes a third of your salary because regardless of how dreadful she may be you decided to dribble your spaff up the poor cunt and hope for the best. more fool you. you also say 'them' - either twins (tough break) or stupidity ie i hate kids but had another one anyway.

this might shock you but being a father involves more than shelling out for a few cinema tickets.

dont be surprised if in a few years they want fuck all to to with you because all you ever did was shell out for a few cinema tickets now and again whilst moaning about how hard done to you are.

hooray you might well think - well ffwd 30 years or so when your sitting in a puddle of your own piss wondering why the kids you never wanted never bring your grand children to see your miserable fucking face.

what a waste of skin you are.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:44, closed)

^^
what he said.
I feel sorry for you, but I feel really sorry for your kids.
(jennymnemonic, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:53, closed)

@Kaol
In respose to your first reply: the money isn't simply paid to the mother. It's paid to the mother on the child's behalf. Important difference.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:59, closed)

@Enzyme
Can't she then spend it on whatever she wants, as I assume she makes the decisions "on the child's behalf"?
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:03, closed)

@Kaol
I suppose there's no way to enforce the money's being wisely spent - but that's not the point. The father is obliged to support the child. The mother is obliged to do the same - though the way the obligation is manifested may differ. If one fails, then that's bad. It doesn't nullify the other's obligation.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:05, closed)

Well
obviously not everyone is in agreement...

So which is better for kids then hey?

Sitting in a house with your 20 a day mother and step dad with the best games to play with and being the envy of the street, never having to say Please and thanks

Or

Seeing your father for 2 days in 30 (not their or my choice) being read to, doing homework going out and learning about how to behave in a normal world like you can't live off the state and if you want nice things you have to get a job. going out to learn about animals at the zoo or a walk in the park and looking at trees etc.

I'm not a bad father - I put more time in to my twins in 48hrs than a lot of people say they do with theirs, what pisses me off about them is that every time I pick them up it's like having a new set of kids again and it takes 12hrs to mould them into kids that people look at and say I wish mine were that well behaved.

Maybe I could have worded the first bit better? but there you go.

Kip

Ps: @ ancrenne - bloody right I expect my kids to say thanks, that's one of the basic manners I try to teach them, you try having none for a week and seeing how quickly people stop doing things for you.
(Kip, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:10, closed)

Sorry, Kip...
... but you're missing the point of the criticism that's been voiced here. The relative merits of your and your ex's parenting skills weren't the subject of the original post.

I don't think anyone here should be involved in your domestic squabbles. But I don't think you should be surprised if they respond to a post a major theme of which was how much you resent your kids, and a minor theme of which was a general Daily Mail rant about the state of the country (which isn't, after all, too bad - face it).
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:14, closed)

Kip - hear that whirring noise?
that's you back peddling that is
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:15, closed)

Now you can just fuck right off Enzyme
The Daily Mail "not too bad"!? You and I both know it's literary poison.

Now lets not have any more of that sort of language.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:18, closed)

Kip...
You have missed ancrenne's point about gratitude entirely. Was that intentional?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:19, closed)

@al
I'll pretend I didn't see that, shall I? Just in case you're in earnest, it's the country that's not in too bad a state - as my syntax made perfectly clear.


Sorry - irony mode temorarily unavailable...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:21, closed)

@Enzyme
It just sounds like a horrible mess.

One more reason for my enforced implant programme.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:26, closed)

Horrible mess indeed.
*sigh*

sic transit gloria mundi
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:28, closed)

Holidays
I'm in agreement with everone else here, from the tone of your post it doesn't sound like you enjoy being a father and see it more as a chore, which is not what it's about (I don't have kids so can't comment too much on that side of things)

Holidays - I was taken out of school on one occasion so my parents could go on holiday and it wasn't because they wanted to 'save a few quid' (we were camping in cornwall before it was 'cool' do do so) but because my father was a shift worker and had to go when his holidays were allocated and so wanted his only son to have a good time rather than no holiday at all.

Sometimes you need to realise that people don;t have as much choice as youself.

Apologies, happiness and good feeling toward all will be restored shortly...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:32, closed)

*nods*
Ah well...

agitate volviteque.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:32, closed)

Come on now...
The Daily Mail is a fine, well balanced, cracking read. It highlights the true opinions of the well-educated public, so let's all leave it alone eh?

love,

A. Hitler
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:33, closed)

yeah okay
I was taking liberties with misreading your post.

*sulks*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:33, closed)

@Kaol...
Now that's a phrase I've not heard in a long time... and, even then, not in Latin.

al: *offers reassuring-hand on-shoulder-type gesture*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:36, closed)

BTW
I have to admit I'm mystified by your claim that, before the age of 10, holidays are wasted. I started to learn French at 7, because we were, er, in France. Mum told me what to say in the shop, and I said it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:38, closed)

@Enzyme
It's a good phrase... Nice work on not translating it totally literally, or it sounds like a disorientated Parkinsons sufferer.

@ancrenne - Think you've missed my point, kinda a joke... But I do believe that due to the tribal nature of humans, they need a leader, and as a result of that, a lot of people would follow the instructions of an authority figure (or body of authority) unquestioningly, as proved by the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:43, closed)

Child Benefit paid on the child's behalf
The sad thing is, although on the child's behalf, there is very little way of enforcing that this is how the money is spent. My uncle would testify to this.
After a split with his wife who was a tragic alcoholic, he was paying so much a month child benefit for 10 years or more. Unfortunately She was drinking the vast majority of it, until her death from a brain haemorrhage a few years ago.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:44, closed)

"Anyway, to put it bluntly, I fucking HATE kids, I don't even like my own that much"

Nice start.

"Why do people insist on taking kids on holiday before they reach 10? What’s the point? They won’t remember where you went "

My 8 year old son clearly remembers a holiday we went on when he was 3.

"just because some parents take their kids out of school so they can save a few quid by missing the rush, I think you should be fined if you do that!"

I genuinely agree with you there; kids should not be taken out of school for a holiday. My son's school actually disallows it, though I'm not sure how they enforce it.

"Supermarkets too, why can’t you go shopping whilst the kids are at school?"

How can you not spot the flaw in that question?

"I get mine once a month for the weekend and treat them to all sorts of stuff like, skating/bowling/cinema to educational stuff like the science museum or the zoo etc.. and the thanks I get? Fuck all!"

I don't want to get into the reason why you only see your kids once a month - I'm aware there are different circumstances where the reason for this isn't immediately apparent, and it's none of my fucking business to ask why this is the case, but despite all that, it's fair to say that looking after children almost constantly, compared to looking after them for just 48 hours a month is *drastically* different. You've got to deal with all sorts of other stuff. Whether you want to see your kids more than this or not is irrelevant to this particular discussion, but there's so much more to take into consideration for looking after them for the other 700-odd hours a month. All the "boring" stuff. Lots of little "menial" things that need doing. It isn't just about taking them out to enjoy themselves, you need to be able to deal with the 'crappy' stuff as well. After 48 hours you can just hand them back and let someone else deal with it. A friend of mine is in a situation where she's divorced and living with her 4 year old son. Her ex husband sees their son once a week (sundays from 10am-6pm on a good day) and has him stopping over at his one saturday a month, and even then her ex sees it as he's doing her a *favour* rather than taking on his responsibility. Any time she asks him for a little help that means he has to interrupt his precious schedule, he starts getting arsey (not just a one-sided story; i've witnessed it) but he's quite happy to arrange holidays for himself without checking with her first. Anything to do with the boy's regular life (school stuff, medical stuff, clothes and loads of other things) my friend has to deal with. All her ex has to do is just make sure he can think of somewhere to go once a week and prepare some clean bedsheets once a month.

By the way - this is nowhere near a rant on divorced dads, my parents divorced when I was 9, and I appreciate how hard it can be for a divorced dad to get things sorted, but he had me and my sister overnight twice a week, and was always involved in our lives.

If you're trying to get access to your kids more than once a month - kudos to you for that, and I hope you manage to succeed if you're putting the effort in, but you'll have to pardon my cynicism due to your opening salvo about not particularly liking your own kids.

Your message doesn't seem like a discussion about kids, it just seems like an angry, bitter rant because things haven't gone your way.

Good luck. (not being sarcastic BTW)
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 16:38, closed)

@@
*Breathes in...

@Fuckarma, ancrenne (and everyone else on here apparently)
I love being a father, I can't wait to pick them up when I get to see them and spend time with them, they bring tears to my eyes (in a good way), but I don't take them to places I know they would not be welcome.
Kids have a right to expect the attention of a parent - it's a shame a lot don't get it.

@St Enzyme of the Rock Cake, I was referring to holidays where parents let their kids run riot around the pool (as I did state) as for you learning French at 7, well done, a lot of kids have a job speaking English at that age, including me! (probably)


As for the Child benefit thing - I don't go through the CSA (we had an agreement) it's a shame the supermarkets don't make a card that you can only buy food and clothes on - so no fags and booze.


I think that's it but feel free to keep flaming if you require....

@Mike Fishcake - Rant cause things haven't gone my way... Yes, you're probably right
(Kip, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 16:57, closed)

Hmm, yes
Some ace points. Children are vile things and the parents are worse. If they chose to have the children then they automatically are accepting a term of agreement saying they'll take responcibility. Nobody seems to notice now.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 19:53, closed)