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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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Humpty got me thinking...
My childhood mispronunciations included "aterator" for radiator, and my favourite piece of music when I was small was Orff's "Ribena Banana".

Stupid fucking twat. Should of been slapped more so I was learned how for talk right quicker.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:30, 53 replies)
Orff? As a child?
I was still singing "I'm a little teapot".
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:32, closed)
Ribena Banana
Brilliant!
*click* for being a cultured youngster and knowing that piece at all.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:33, closed)
@CHCB
Yes. I was stupid and pretentious.
*sigh*


Not like now. Oh, no.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:34, closed)
my parents didn't own any Classical music
so I was raised on Irish trad instead. I had favourite musicians at probably the same age, it's just that there were no words.

I'm trying to compensate for it now.
*turns up volume on Dido and Aeneas*
but I still like the trad best.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:36, closed)
Oh, I was a pretentious little shite
I used to recite the Rhubayat of Omar Khayam (spelling?) at the age of 3-4. Only I substituted salt 'n' pepper for the Sultan's turret. My mother thought is was cute.

And, because she read me the Just So Stories, I used to go round telling people I was filled with "satiable curtiosity". Speaking of which, we'd be hung, drawn & quartered for reading them now - remember How The Leopard Got His Spots?
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:39, closed)
@CHCB
Consider yourself lucky, all my parents ever listened to were M People, The Lighthouse Family and fucking Enya.

*cries*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:41, closed)
@Tourette's
Can't help with the spelling (the Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam, I think, but I don't speak Farsi, so am no authority...) but it's something I only discovered a couple of years ago. Might have to re-read it this evening...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:43, closed)
@Sexmonkey
your parents fucked Enya? Christ, that must be worse than listening to the bitch sing.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:44, closed)
They sure did.
We couldn't afford farm animals back then.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:45, closed)
I grew up listening to 'Catholic' music
Not church stuff....but Republican war chants - my dad's Scots....
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:46, closed)
my mum and dad
owned one "modern" album: With the Beatles.

I frickin' detest The Beatles.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:47, closed)
@chickenlady
My Mum's Scottish as well, thankfully not religious, but I did have to endure hours of her listening to shite like The Proclaimers, Annie Lennox and Texas, just because they were Scottish too.
Damn our parents' musical tastes!

@CHCB I'm with you on the Beatles thing, I can't understand why anyone ever liked them.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)
@Bert
You have my sympathy. I may be courting controversy, but I tend to think that the Lighthouse Family's carrer is worse than genocide.

EDIT: But the Proclaimers are ace!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)
Enya...
...fucked a Womble.
It's where Orinocho Flow came from.

Sorry.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)
all parents love The Proclaimers.
Fact.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)
AHHAAA!
*seconds Enzyme and applauds Boss*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:50, closed)
I'll take your Proclaimers and raise you a
RUNRIG!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:52, closed)
@Enzyme and CHCB
You've obviously not had to endure an entire childhood of listening to 'I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk a thousand more...'
At full volume. Every Sunday morning. At 6.

The Lighthouse Family should really be burned at the stake though.

@chickenlady NNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:52, closed)
Runrig?
Pah....Cappercailie! (sp?)

Or even CLANNAD!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:55, closed)
no
My parents would play lengthy and dreary and downright bleak albums of Child ballads.

Child abuse.

(This is wasted on anyone who has never experienced the excruciating monotony of a Child ballad.)
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:55, closed)
The Proclaimers
are to be applauded for introducing the word 'haver' into the wider English lexicon. And they do write some quite melodic stuff. But they do take the 'singing in the native accent' thing a bit too far, I think.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:56, closed)
Lighthouse family...
I've got Lifted going through my head now.... Agh!
Even worse than M-People... I'd rather have ebola than go through hearing either ever again.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:59, closed)
don't do that! Don't make it be in my head!
Only Savage Garden can remove a Lighthouse Family song. And that's a fate perilously close to death.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:01, closed)
Not Savage Garden too!
Will everybody please stop mentioning crap, infectious, uplifting, shite pop?! Please? For the love of god?

Heather Whatsherface from M People sounds like a series of those old fashioned car horns.

*honk*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:03, closed)
...
My earworm has now changed. I'm currently being told that I have to "search for the hero inside [my]self."


Kill me now. Please. Somebody.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:03, closed)
@Enzyme
you may have to search for the hero inside yourself with a carving knife. It'd stop the ear-worm.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:05, closed)
You could be lifted...
Lifted...

Lifted all the way.

Yeah, you, could be lifted.

Lifted all the way. Yeah.

(from the shadows) Lifted.

All the way.

/repeat til brain dies.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:06, closed)
Luckily
due to confusion when I was younger, Runrig makes me think of the J Geils Band "Angel is the centrefold". Which is better than anything Runrig ever did.

It's funny, my cousin in Sydney, who is scottish, was always going on about Scottish bands and Scottish writers. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with (some) Scottish bands and I'm a huge fan of Iain Banks and Christopher Brookmyre, but why limit yourself to artists from such a small country when you've got such a big world to choose from. Plus, she didn't like AC/DC. WTF!?
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:06, closed)
@Sexmonkey
You. Complete. Shit.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:07, closed)
*changes track*
Cos yawwwww....

A si*honk*ght for sore ey*honk*es...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:08, closed)
I'm very close
to putting sexmonkey on the ignore list for that sort of behaviour.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:09, closed)
I always thought
that Beethoven's "Fur Elise" was prounounced "For Elsie".

Even though I know better now, I still can't stop myself calling it that.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:10, closed)
NOOOOO!!!
I'm sorry father, please forgive me.

I promise I'll never do it again.


*Saxophone solo*
*cranks up the synthesiser*

EDIT I always thought Heather Whatsherface looked like the female gremlin from Gremlins 2, but can't find a source pic, dammit!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:10, closed)
*blesses Bert*
*begins to bop to soft jazz style pop muzak*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:16, closed)
For Elsie sounds better
As a wee 'un learning Moonlight Sonata on t'piano, and my old man's propensity for swearing, I called the piece Moonlight Sonofabitch.

I'm no better now...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:21, closed)
I think I must be the only one here
who actually likes M People.

*makes appointment with psychiatrist*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:23, closed)
I shouldn't
Have read through those replies, you're a depraved, sick bunch of people.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:25, closed)
...
*Applies to have K2k6 sectioned*



(Although admitting you like M-People must be like telling your granny that you're a staggeringly dirty rent-boy with bad Aids, so I do sorta admire your bravery...)
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:26, closed)
@k2k6
Get out! Go on! Just Get out of my sight, you sick, sick bastard.

It's nauseatingly repetitititititive, and so disgustingly upbeat it makes me want to punch a four year old in the tits.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:27, closed)
@Sexmonkey
Think that's repetitive? You should hear the Bizarre Fruit II CD, which has the 12" remixes.

*hums 9 minute long track to self*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:29, closed)
Mmmmmmmmmm
punching a four year old.

*segues into dream sequence*

Moving on up! Moving on out! Moving on up! Nothing can stop us! *SMACK* ...... Waaaaaaah!!!!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:29, closed)
oh I feel so tainted
just reading all that. Have some of my anti-psychotic meds, K2k6. I think this is indeed an emergency.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:30, closed)
Dear lord!
Gadzooks! And other exclaimations!

You're beyond saving, Mr K2k6.

EDIT @al -you bastard! Now I've got that 'doo-doo-doo-doo doodly doo-doo-doo-doo' tune in my head and the opening bit,

"You done me wrong,
Your time is up,
You took a sip,
(just a sip)
From the devil's cup.
You broke my heart,
there's no way back..."

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:30, closed)
@CHCB
You'll have to feed them to me. I can't move my hands with this strait jacket they've put me in.

(Fortunately I have been given one of those Steven Hawking eye-movement things to type with)
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:32, closed)
I would like to say here
that I saw them live on several occasions, but I'm just not that sad. I did see Britney Spears on her first UK tour though.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:36, closed)
@K2k6
So you can't defend yourself?

*smack*

That's
*kick*
What
*slap*
You
*punch*
Get for admitting to your crimes...
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:37, closed)
Ouch!
*bleeds*

I suppose now's not a good time to admit I'm also partial to a bit of smooth jazz?
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:39, closed)
@father al
Much respect to you, anyone who can sit through that deserves... well, counselling I suppose.

As for Britney, as she's my age I've been in love with her since we were 16, I don't care if she's trailer trash.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:41, closed)
*opens pocket*
*takes out scalpel*

We'll fix you up, don't worry.
Just have to take all the bad parts out of you.

*grins*
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:42, closed)
I'll see your enya/proclaimers...
and raise you The Seekers!
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:42, closed)
@Bert
She's not trash, she just needs someone to give her a good buggering give her some love. And what better then a priest. Mmmmmm.

Oh, I really was lying about seeing M people live, although I have a rather eclectic music taste, it's not that eclectic
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:45, closed)
Antichrist...
I seem to remember that we had an LP by The Spinners... That's the UK folk Spinners, not the Detroit ones.

Oh, good lord.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:47, closed)
Parents' music... let's see...
The ones I didn't like:

The Seekers
Phil Collins
The tape my mum's friend made with just Charles and Eddie's classic Would I Lie To You? over and over
Elvis
Clannad
Anything classical

The ones I did like, and still do:
John Denver
Kirsty MacColl (though, as I have previously stated, most of her online fans look like 38-year-old paedophiles)
Enya
The Beatles
Simon & Garfunkel

Parental music collections are just CRUEL.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 18:13, closed)

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