Poetic License
So many years hence, i was acquainted, through a friend, with a lovely, leggy blonde lass with norks you could leap out of a burning building onto. shy, but furtively filthy, and genuinely nice to boot.
i think she saw me as a bit of rough (a fair description at the time) now she was an english student (literature not language) amd i was.. well, less said about what i was at the time the better. part time member of society will suffice.
I am however, fairly well read, verbose, and, in the dim and distant past, have had some dabblings with poetry and creative writing.
i MAY have, in some way, portrayed my interest in said subject as somewhat more than it was.
this MAY have been influenced by a desire to investigate more closely what exactly was jiggling about under that cardigan and those librarian style glasses,although of course i can't comment.
inevitably, this led to me being forcefed (in fairness, in most cases fairly enjoyably as i had free time and love a good book) classic literature, and then, upon travelling the 2 hours by train to visit her uni, rather than the hot rumpus i was hoping for, receiving the equivalent of having my english homework marked. of course, there was nookie too, but the passion for books FAR outweighed the passion for schlong. i did like her, but after about about 4 months i finally succumbed to the fact i was NOT the mr darcy she clearly wanted to mould me into, 'poetry and long walks by the canal' are *poetry and long walks by the c..* from what i wanted from the arrangement, and despite her being very nice albeit neurotic and on the needy side of needy, it was doomed to failure.
the moral of the story is, be yourself, or the person you're trying to bone will fall for the fake, and it's tiring, and guilt-inducing in equal amounts keeping it going.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:29, 9 replies)

You are, however, verbose

(Asser, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 18:00, closed)

and very short of money
have you seriously thought that spending the money you did and trains would have been better directed at the local ladeeys of ill repute?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 10:17, closed)

"...love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove..."
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 18:28, closed)

A shorter version
Pretended to like books in order to get laid. Then i felt bored/guilty, so i stopped.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 20:03, closed)

'Hence' means in the future in this context.
Now stop showing off your language 'skills' - you look like a bit of a nob.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:04, closed)

Maybe
he's from the future? A future where lying in order to get laid is considered to be a waste of time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 21:12, closed)

The human race will never achieve that level of common sense.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 15:57, closed)

isn't that the point of b3ta?
it's like a closed trolling sandbox loop.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 9:41, closed)

bright side
you smashed her back doors in
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 23:37, closed)