not so much a mobile disaster, as a 'had no mobile...should have spotted the disaster..'
it was the mid 90's, and unlike his best mate Loz, my fiance David didn't have a mobile phone. One night he'd gone out with his work colleagues and come home to an unholy row in the early hours as he "couldn't have phoned home, didn't remember his phone number". I was about as accepting as the non-Nazis were with the 'obeying orders' defence at Nuremberg. I cunted him off something chronic.
Two months later, and he's in hospital, having 'gone into one' after friends were over, and started talking utter nonsenes (despite only one can of Guinness) diagnosed with a massive brain tumour, the early symptoms of which were the apparent early-onset Alzheimer's he was displaying.
He fought. He fought hard. Two lots of brain surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, the chemo he endured having been told there wasn't time to save his sperm but he'd be infertile, sorry.
So not a mobile phone disaster, but if he'd had a phone, I'd maybe have noticed something other than the "forgot your own number to get out of a bollocking" ruse he tried.
It's fourteen years now. I've never forgiven myself for not noticing the early signs. Maybe he'd still be alive.
( Sallyrsm, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 21:19, 10 replies)

Another one where "I like this" is just entirely wrong, but I'm clicking anyway.
You mustn't blame yourself... maybe you'd have given him the bollocking and not noticed anything when he still didn't remember the number to call you. Who can say?

I hope you manage to forgive yourself, no-one's perfect.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 21:24, closed)

Agreed, in all respects.
'Like' is entirely the wrong word in these circumstances.


And, really, don't blame yourself.

Ok, so you didn't notice a couple of signs which, lets face it, were hardly glaring but you did notice when it started to get worse and you were there for him as he had to deal with everything.
It's best not to dwell on such negative matters but when you feel like you're to blame for any of this, just think about how your being there for him helped him to fight it all and how, had you not been there, much worse it could've been...
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 21:44, closed)

Sally,
it's really not your fault. From the sounds of things, it was a highly aggressive brain tumour anyway, if there was such a marked difference in two months.
You were there for him, you stood by him, through all the gruelling bad news and horrible treatments used to fight the cancer.
Maybe he would be still alive, maybe he wouldn't be. You can't know and you can't blame yourself forever.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 4 Aug 2009, 22:04, closed)

How long does it take to make coffee?
Because that's how long it took my baby to go. No cliche. But I would give all for five more minutes. You were there. You hung in. Hero by me. *click* for you.
(Festus, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 1:46, closed)

By baby I mean my beautiful wife..
My real baby is now a very healthy and feisty 17 year old girl who would make her mama blush. So of course I am very proud of her! :D
(Festus, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 1:51, closed)

<shakes head sadly>
"I like this" is entirely stupid in this case, but I clicked anyway. x
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 8:12, closed)

Not your fault
Dont blame yourself, my wife died from cervical cancer not long after giving birth to our daughter and no one, docs included spotted the signs until it was to late, she would have been 28 today.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 11:36, closed)

What thery all said
* clickyhugs *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 19:59, closed)

Misery thread.
*click/hugs*

*goes to a cafe, slowly drinks a coffee while staring sadly out the window*
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 3:18, closed)

You can't blame yourself.
When it comes down to it, you would not have been able to save him even if you had made the unlikely connection earlier on. I've a friend who has a brain tumour. It was caught early, operated on successfully, radiotherapy and chemo went very well, yet he's still going to die. Truth of the matter is, if it's aggressive (which in your fiance's it sounds like it was), there is no cure.

On a lighter note, before he went into surgery, I gave him a Nintendo DS with the brain training game.

He's recently finished a course of radiotherapy and claims to be radioactive. Last time I met him, I held a geiger counter up to his head, just to be on the safe side.

He laughed both times, but his wife is still cursing me.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:06, closed)