Oh man, I've just had the worst afternoon. We drove to a little village near Cheltenham to visit the harpist who's going to play at our wedding reception.
Unfortunately my BMW got completely stuck when I tried to turn around in the lane that leads to her house. I had to ask her husband for a spade and spent an hour digging my car out whilst my fiancee listened to her playing the harp. My car looks like something from the Battle of the Somme and I didn't get to hear any harp music!
Sorry it's not related to this weeks topic, I don't have any pets so I thought you'd like to hear about my day instead.
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:40, 27 replies)

That sounds smashing.
I hope you managed to kill a couple of pet cats on your way home.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:42, closed)

I would never run over an innocent animal.
If something jumped into the way of my car I would totally slam the steering wheel hard to the right and flip the car onto two wheels before dropping back down and doing a wicked 360 so I could check it was alright.
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:49, closed)

Sorry.
That was my first mistake.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:59, closed)

This to win

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:47, closed)

I'm quietly confident with this one

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:07, closed)

And so your story is you have got a posh car that gets stuck!
( Vambo, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:57, closed)

Sorry, I don't accept criticism from plebs who can't even afford an icon

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:59, closed)

Ooooh look I've got an icon. You've still got a crap car.
( Vambo, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 13:04, closed)

You're still a pleb

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 17:17, closed)

I may be a pleb, but I have a car that doesn't get stuck and I can afford to fill it with smelly diesel.
( Vambo, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 22:27, closed)

It's probably like my BMW
11 years old, varicose vein blue and worth about as much as a bicycle.
(rogerzilla, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 21:50, closed)

It's 6 years old, green and worth considerably less than it was this morning.

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 0:13, closed)

You were very much mistaken.

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Sat 2 Feb 2013, 18:58, closed)

Yeah you're not my target audience I'm afraid.

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:02, closed)

I only skimmed over this I'm afraid.
However, I would advise against marrying this harpy you mention.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:09, closed)

If you can't be bothered to read the whole thing I don't really see why I should bother to reply to you. Sorry.

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:10, closed)

Well , if you're not going to reply
then it's hardly worth bothering to tell you I didn't read your original post now is it?
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:15, closed)

I haven't even bothered to learn how to read.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:17, closed)

I am so overwhelmed with indifference I can't even be bothered to finish the

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:20, closed)

It's this sort of apathy that is killing QOTW

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:29, closed)

I don't even own a q

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:58, closed)

I hope you know that cat's guts are made out of harp strings
You cruel bastard.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 2 Feb 2013, 22:26, closed)

hooray, so it was pet related after all.

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 0:43, closed)

Probably that sort of quality from BMW is fuelling Land Rover's success (and if you had been driving a Land Rover you wouldn't have got stuck in the first place!)
( Vambo, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 0:26, closed)

If I'd been driving a landrover I don't think I could have afforded the petrol to get there in the first place.

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 0:32, closed)

I hope you charged her extra
for fucking your day up.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 0:29, closed)

You had to ask for a spade? Why couldn't you ask for a white person to dig out your car? You terrible racist.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 16:30, closed)