I provide IT tech support for a very exclusive customer base.
Conversation the other day:
Me: Hello *name deleted here* tech support
Customer: Yah. My computers just lost some fate on me yah? Is there any way I can get it back.
Me: I think so, what have you lost
Customer: My save, yah.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:21, 31 replies)

That's the strangest description of arse-wiping I've read in a long time

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:23, closed)

and you receive many desciptions of arse wiping?

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:31, closed)

Only from the most popular models in the local skag-hag community.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:33, closed)

Well he doesn't want to get clagnuts all on his best toys.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:39, closed)

How much on a scale of 0-10 would you say he hates women?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:42, closed)

Sorry 'popular models'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:43, closed)

I doubt if they're even in his top 10

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:57, closed)

not enough to describe them as "skag-hags"
based on nothing but my own prejudices
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:00, closed)

Do please hurry up and die, you pointless helmet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:39, closed)

Whilst he's humiliating these 'women' for his own enjoyment
he is subsconsciously lashing out at his poor, long-suffering (and hideously ugly) mother because he secretly blames her for letting his deadbeat nonce of a dad waltz out of their lives forever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:57, closed)

I love the way you have the nerve to call me a misogynist
You massive hypocrite, and prick
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:39, closed)

I'm starting to realise that tits whole "emvee versus his detractors" nonsense
is the most entertaining thing on here.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:43, closed)

You're welcome
I aim to entertain...myself, mostly, but I'm glad someone else is enjoying it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:01, closed)

Not knowing quite what it was you did to get everyone so excited,
makes it all the more amusing, too.
Keep it up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:11, closed)

I think it was mostly telling stories and jokes on a comedy website
I probably should have known better
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 20:00, closed)

he gets vulnerable "nerd birds" to shove lego up their blurters so he can take pictures and put them on the internet
and threaten to send them to the girl's WoW covens.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 20:12, closed)

See, by choosing to believe everything I read,
I've managed to build up quite the engrossing little soap opera, on here.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 9 May 2013, 20:30, closed)

it's fairly easy
I feed them one or two details and then let barely-suppressed jealousy do the rest of the work
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:11, closed)

I take it all back - you're a genius.
This is genuinely the funniest thing I've ever read on here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:57, closed)

I'm terribly jealous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:18, closed)

I should imagine a predilection toward 'entertaining yourself' is how you ended up with the retarded idea
that you were going to be Finsbury Park's cross between Paul Raymond and fucking Hamleys, you blithering fucking halfwit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:52, closed)

Somewhere along the way emvee
you seem to have forgotten a few things

the main one being this is a comedy web site you tiresome arse
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:44, closed)

thanks for playing!

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 9 May 2013, 17:01, closed)

Don't be ridiculous.
This is the personal emporium of a charmless dullwit whose sexuality froze when he was twelve. Along with his facial hair.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 May 2013, 18:08, closed)

since we're here
do you fold or scrunch?

personally I lower my buttocks into a bucket of industrial strength cleaning agents and scrub them with a wire brush since I've lost control of my sphincter. But to each their own ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:41, closed)

Pressure hose. Trade secret.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 9 May 2013, 16:42, closed)

i really don't get this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 May 2013, 20:08, closed)

Something about goalkeeping, I think.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 9 May 2013, 20:23, closed)

The Pun is weak in this one.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 9 May 2013, 22:24, closed)

i can see the pun, it's just...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:21, closed)

well, this tickled me, it did
I like.
( rofl harris, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:18, closed)