Albert the Knob
My area's a bit of a croak estate, so it's full of oldies with nothing better to do than find things to complain about.

Unfortunately next door to me is an old Scottish twat and his wife.
He constantly complains about anything, even though my wife and I are out all day and give him no reason.

He complained once that some branches of my tree were overhanging his garden (by around 2 feet I think, about 25 feet up). He said he'd consulted the C.A.B. and was within his rights to cut them off. I would have done it for him, but after that I let the crippled 70-year-old do it himself.

Anyhow, I built a nice big 12'x12' brick shed at the end of my garden, and felt the rough, unpainted, offcut adored side facing him needed something to finish it off. So I put this on the apex;

4.bp.blogspot.com/_T27jvCPoJf4/SkN76kUgoTI/AAAAAAAAb1E/P8i7Gz0FHL0/s1600-h/SHED_P1010682_crop.JPG

It's been up for a while now. My wife suggested I pained it pink, but that wouldn't be subtle enough, would it. I want it to slowly dawn on him...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 14:43, 21 replies)

Haha!
Fucking brilliant!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 14:52, closed)

Good job fellah :D

( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 14:56, closed)

Hahahaha
Superb work!

I was laughing so much I almost clicked ignore instead of reply...

Have a click
( snee held his breath since, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:11, closed)

Have you considered,
affixing a lawn sprinkler on it?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:29, closed)

I want to
I also want to add a bushy bit and stuff. It's hard to see from the picture, but there are slots cut out for a japseye and around the foreskin.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:04, closed)

Massive applause
*throws roses*
(MyFakeName, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:46, closed)

Brown
subtle
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 15:47, closed)

Fucking ace!
As above, it needs a hose pipe horizontally taped to the other side. :)
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:27, closed)

hahahahaha, say it with members!
*clicks*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 16:57, closed)

Consider yourself clicked
That is fantastic.

Did you model the shape on your own 'member'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 17:04, closed)

Of course
I even used it as a template when I cut out the "wood" with a jigsaw.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 9:03, closed)

*wince*
The thought of splinters is horrifying.
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Sat 3 Oct 2009, 1:47, closed)

eBay
A fortune awaits.
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 21:42, closed)

how am i supposed to compete against this prick
i give up
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 0:43, closed)

surely with christmas coming it should glow
pink or purple

decisions decisons
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 2:12, closed)

I'm thinking LED's
Running up the middle and then a nice fountain at the top, like the neon signs.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 9:04, closed)

Now this is a bit special
you should go into business with this idea. One in every home, that sort of thing.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 11:19, closed)

Unfortunately
it would mean having to have a knob like my next-door-neighbour in order to justify it.
But then again...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:05, closed)

Have you thought about branching out a bit ?
I for one live next door to a cunt...

A hairy cunt at that...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:44, closed)

Have yourself a click
You amazing man! :D
(harrumph, Sun 4 Oct 2009, 8:31, closed)

You are Patrick Trench
AICMFP
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 0:47, closed)