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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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Surprise Neighbours
I am lucky enough to live in a nice rural location - however, it appears that this area is very popular and if you cannot afford the (admittedly) high property prices, why not just buy some cheap agricultural land and build an illegal caravan park.


Fucking wankers the lot of them.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:38, 35 replies)
what complete cunts

(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:45, closed)
Fucking wankers
is putting it mildly, mate.

This is what SWAT teams were invented for.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:47, closed)
Cheers Guys!
I can see the edge of the encampment from my bedroom window (previously you could not see anything other than fields & woodland).

We are fighting this tooth and nail, but they have the human rights act on their side (there are other people along the road whose gardens actually back onto the site and teh amount of (human & animal) shit that gets thrown over their fences is unbeleivable! Some residents are unable to use their bedrooms as the travellers can see into them (being slightly higher than the houses.

Crime has gone up, one house has had to be taken off the market as its unsaleable and I cannot access the field I normally walk my dog round (the same field my grandfather used to walk round with me, my dad and now I'm older I walked my neice & nephew round!) bacause we have to go past the entrance which is on a single track road - they have transits & 3.5 tonne flatbeds screaming out of & into the site (sometimes chased by police, sometimes not) and its just too dangerous for me to risk.

We are all very unhappy, but are hoping justice prevails.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:59, closed)
Easy way...
Pay a bunch of bouncers to smash their windows and tell them to fuck off.

It's what happened when they invaded a field near me.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:01, closed)
you're likely to end up with stabbings there
it fucks me off though that they are essentially beyond the law. anyone else carving up an area of outstanding natural beauty would be given a thorough kicking.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:04, closed)
@ Vipros
Too right mate, the same land they are on had a greenhouse on it a few years ago. Lasted exactly 14 days before it was removed by the council.

Pikey site = years to remove.

Its strange how no councilors are affected by gypsy sites...............
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:07, closed)
That's why
you pay some bigger blokes to do it.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:43, closed)
Got any numbers??
Its been mentioned a few times at the residents meetings, but we don;t know anyone who would do this!!!

We have money and will pay.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:05, closed)
Depends on where you are fella.
But I have heard of companies who are willing to provide this service.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:22, closed)
@ Jim Bob
Constance & Co are the mutts nuts for getting rid of them, but as they bought the land its (unfortunately!) not a straightforward eviction.

The council are doing their bit by refusing planning & serving enforcement notices for the land to be restored to its original status but its a long drawn out process :-(
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:25, closed)
you could either pay a load of thugs to force them out
or put up huge 10 meter fences so you don't have to see them and paint a picture of lovely countryside on it.

Edit: and a big goatse on their side
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:24, closed)
@ Nuffmuff
I like the plan! Regrettably, not being able to see them is one thing, but they have generators running through the night, dogs fighting & barking and of course the traditional gypsy techno house shite being pumped out until all hours (at leat this drowns out some of the screaming & abuse regularly meeted out by them!).

Oh, and they don;t have sanitation on site, so all of their shit & piss sits in portaloos or they crap in a carrier bag & throw if over the fence.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:28, closed)
you could always start shitting in a bag yourself and throwing it back to them.
I doubt you'd want to tho so i suggest you get one of those teenage dispenser thingy's that emitts a high pitched noise to get rid of gangs (try and get one for adults aswell if they do em) and set it up around the campsite.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:32, closed)
@ Nuffmuff re the high pitched thingymabobs
Cracjking idea!!!

I would love to watch that!!
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:35, closed)
ITYM disperser
Something that dispenses teenagers would only make the problem worse.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:45, closed)
You could train em to stab pikeys
and pay them in knives
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:03, closed)
Human Rights
We have this problem a lot here in Kent and the Human rights card is always pulled, however you have human rights too ie: not to have your property devalued the right to not have shit thrown over garden fences, to have the right of 'quiet enjoyment' of your property. You are lucky that the police actually chase them, our lot will not go near them, (health and safety issue. I would love to be able to say you will win but as most councils are spineless i can't. The last one we got rid of took 4 years, the current one have a few months left before revue and we are not holding our breath.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:29, closed)
@ johners
Very good point Johners - I set up google alerts for similar stories from around the country and wish that I hadn't!!!! Every day I read of councils caving in or being forced to give tempory (and by that they mean 4 or so years!!!!!!!) permission.

The police may chase them but will not go near the entrance of the site (although the helicopter goes over quite often!!.

Good luck with the review, fingers crossed the Planning Inspectorate in BRistol give the right decision.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:33, closed)
I think these are the same lot...
...who one night turned up in the field adjacent to my house near High Wycombe, then used my electricity to run their electric fence.

The lawyers told us that, not under any circumstances, were we to call them gypsies or any derogatory term because it was a human rights issue. The neighbourhood didn't yell and didn't shout, we kept our cool and the lawyers put up a sign:


The gypsy camp didn't have any right to fight us on legal ground because we hadn't refused them their human rights, so they disappeared overnight.

The problem is, when this sort of thing happens, people go all red-faced and Daily Mail and then you're totally screwed. The best option, at least in my case, was to keep quiet.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:33, closed)
@ The Snark
I like your way of dealing with things mate, they really value their horses (although maybe not treat them very well!) and you got them by the short & curlies!!
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:36, closed)
We had them out in less than two weeks.

(OK, I have to admit, it was nice to open my window and see horses running around. However, it wasn't nice when people shat on my walk. Swings and roundabouts, eh?)
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:40, closed)
I'd be well pissed off
If people shat on my walk, swings and roundabouts.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:43, closed)
Thing is with gypsies
Horses are actually very expensive. It's how they hide their money.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:45, closed)
i doubt they's be able to fit much money inside a horse
but then again i'm not an expert
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:06, closed)
You clearly haven't watched the right kind of pr0n.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:43, closed)
Oh i've seen more than my fair share
But i don't happen to be rich so can't stuff money up a horse we had to make do with bits of plywood
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:49, closed)
Good answer
And going for the animals is a master stroke
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:37, closed)
...but what does the picture show? I can't view it at work. Cheers.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:50, closed)
It's a notice telling them that
according to the animal rights act 1971 the horses are trespassing and if they are not moved ion 14 days they will be seized and disposed of.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:55, closed)
Nice one!
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 11:57, closed)
Of course
"Disposed of" means sold at a market or public auction, but it's still a nice incentive to fuck the fuck off.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:50, closed)
i hope
that the disposed of implies that they will cut up and burn all the horses
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:53, closed)
I love the twisty path leading to the camp, in the second picture!

it looks like its been mowed by a drunk person.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:48, closed)
Only looks like a problem from the air. Just leave the helicopter at home when you commute to work.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:22, closed)
@ Mr Gibbles
I only wish I had access to a helicopter (hums dambusters music!!!;-))

One large problem which impacts every resident of the immediate vicinity is that, as we are so rural, there is no pavement and so we have to walk in the road - pikeys seem to enjoy making you jump into the hedge / ditch by driving their transits as you!

Googles second hand helicopters.......................
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:43, closed)

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