I've touched on this before
I've already discussed my Mum, in the 'have you seen a dead body' QOTW. I won't go through all that again; all I want to say is this:

To the funeral home attendant - you probably didn't expect my request. I arrived back in the home town a good few hours after my mum had died. The rest of my family had seen her, dying, as she had, at home, and in her own bed rather than some sterile hospital ward. The funeral directors had come to pick her up at something like 5 am. I got back home at around noon, and instantly wanted to go down to the funeral parlour, to say my last goodbyes. I had been home the previous weekend, but she was extremely ill by that point, and all I did mostly was sit by her bedside as she drifted in and out of consciousness, looking fragile and in obvious pain.

I got to the funeral parlour and asked if i coud see her. This obviously caused a bit of awkwardness as they had already secured the coffin; however, the attendant said "give me an hour", and off I went.

Being able to see her, no longer in pain, no longer fragile, was a blessed relief. To look down on the dead body of a parent may seem morbid to some; to me it was a relief - she looked happy and peaceful.

So, to that attendant, I say thank you. It may have been a pain in the arse to do it, but you have my utmost thanks. Because of you, I remember my Mum not as the pain and cancer riddled frail woman she had become, but as the youthful and vibrant woman that brought me up.

Apologies for sappiness; frankly, I don't give a monkey's toss.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 4 Oct 2008, 23:06, 15 replies)

Understandbale
Wasn't sappy.

"Apologies for sappiness; frankly, I don't give a monkey's toss." the monkey's toss bit made me laugh.
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 0:01, closed)

'tis a favourite phrase of mine
:-)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 5 Oct 2008, 0:53, closed)

No apologies needed I think
I'm glad that you were able to see her that way. The last time I saw my grandmother she was cancer-ridden and weak. Seeing her trying to act cheerful and normal and diguising her pain wasn't how I wanted to see her at all.
The thought makes me choke up.

I really wish i'd been able to see her again. Just something other than that last memory of her as a quiet, pale figure in a bed.

*click*
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 0:01, closed)

Awww
thanks ancrenne.

*Hugs back*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 5 Oct 2008, 0:51, closed)

No Sappiness
Gets tear drops in the eyes and a click from me!!
( Vambo, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 1:02, closed)

Sappy? Not at all!
I wanted to go and see my mum, but my dad told me she wouldn't have wanted me to. I didn't agree but didn't go to spare his feelings. Wish I had.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 1:28, closed)

Tears
Hugs, baw bag.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 1:50, closed)

Well written
One of the hardest things you have to do in life is deal with the passing of your parents. I've yet to go there, but the thought of it makes me try and enjoy all the more every day I have of the few when I do get home to see them. You never know when it'll confront you.
( b3tz, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 2:14, closed)

And so
you shouldn't give a monkey's, or any other sort of toss...

*clicky for you*
( Moey, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 2:35, closed)

*manhugs*
Not in the slightes bit sappy.
Had something similair with me Nan and I think it is very important to say that last goodbye.

*clicky*
(Sir Clitherington Smythe offers him yourself., Sun 5 Oct 2008, 3:16, closed)

*hugs*
losing a parent stinks. I didn't see my dad, but then he'd gone very suddenly and I was very young.

*more hugs*

*tosses a monkey*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sun 5 Oct 2008, 10:22, closed)

It's always better
to be able to say one last goodbye.

I never got to see my grandfather before he died of leukemia. I saw him a year before, a pale shell of a man, when they thought he was in remission. It returned, and I never went to see him.

I vowed never to make that mistake again.

Then I found out my gran (his wife) had been rushed into hospital bleeding massively from the huge tumour on her liver, I jumped straight on the next plane back. Never mind I couldn't afford it, or that it was the money for my mortgage, I wanted to say goodbye. I saw her one last time, the day before she died. She seemed so at peace with everything, and was still telling (poor) jokes.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 11:47, closed)

When my mum died
There was a day of viewing. Although I did get to be with her a few hours before she died, it did mean a lot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 7:34, closed)

.
Clicks for "Apologies for sappiness; frankly, I don't give a monkey's toss."
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 6 Oct 2008, 15:25, closed)