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This is a question No Self-Awareness

I had a boss who had no idea of his body odour problem, and everybody was too tactful to break it to him. Not so a visiting Rev Ian Paisley: "What the blazes is that smell? Is it you?" That sorted it. Stories of people blissfully unaware of their bad smells, bad manners and foghorn voices.

Suggested by Ding Dong Montily on High

(, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 13:31)
Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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"Comedy web sites"
Have you noticed how some have gone from "openly mocking ourselves by posting humorous anecdotes" to "Openly mocking others for posting humorous anecdotes"?

Seems some are blissfully unaware of this fact, and use the "Well you must love me or you wouldn't reply" defence.

I admit some banter is funny and clever, but a hardened few just don't seem to think they are mocking others for doing what they are doing themselves. I know I've been guilty of baiting some of these "men" myself, but come on Shambollock. Deleting posts because you're losing an argument...
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:24, 84 replies)
I think all you nasty trolls should sit up and take notice now that this prolific contributor has told you off.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:29, closed)
I should think the ones that take offence to this
Will be the ones guilty of just what I've been saying.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:39, closed)
Also: I've just had a glance through your 45 posts in 5 years...
...and roughly 30 of them appear to be replying to Shambles. Methinks the lady doth protest a touch too much.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:32, closed)
So being new
Means my opinion doesn't count?

Top logic there.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:38, closed)
you're not new.
you're a new account of one of the witless dulls who is butthurt and obsessed with me. Join the massive dreary queue.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:44, closed)
You're sounding a bit self-obsessed
I am new, but in your little world of B3TA it sounds like you think you're actually important.

News flash : You're not. But don't let that stop you posting witless ramblings that profess otherwise...
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:17, closed)
Sentences end with a full stop, a question mark or an exclamation mark. Not an ellipsis.
HTH.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:21, closed)

Physician, heal thyself.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 17:46, closed)
Well at least you didn't waste some of your precious mortality trawling back through a comedy messageboard in a failed attempt to find some poor grammar.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:04, closed)

'Failed attempt'? I would ask you to elaborate, but your reasoning is bound to be sub-cretinous, so I won't waste my time.

Oh yes, time - I'm not certain how long you think it takes to click a mouse, but I wasn't at it all that long. In any event, time is perhaps a little less precious to me, as I have somewhat more of it left.

That all said - I did enjoy your hypocritical wailing about wasting time on a messageboard. Top marks!
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:13, closed)
Front pages AND 'best ofs'
What a valued contribution that user makes.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:45, closed)
Oh come on. That's harsh.
I'm sure young weepy fountain has made his own little contribution. He can't have spent the whole of his time here flapping around the popular kids like a rejected duckling that's fixed itself on a disinterested sheep dog.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:02, closed)
This is nearly as bad for you as that time that someone tried to make me look bad by posting a picture of me and my wife being happy together.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:13, closed)
I honestly don't know how my fragile ego is going to withstand this relentless onslaught.
I should imagine if he links to my profile or posts a public photograph of me again I shall probably die.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:17, closed)
uninterested

(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 8:15, closed)
Ha lol yeah you done made me look a proper doofus unit lol

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:59, closed)

I can't take all the credit - it was mostly your own work.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:10, closed)
Careful. You don't want to make it sound as though you're nothing without my massive schlong to hang on to.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:19, closed)

'Coattails' is one word.

EDIT: You are the living embodiment of l'esprit de l'escalier - constantly sat there, tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth in concentration, continuously deleting, modifying and updating past comments in a futile attempt to look wittier and more intelligent than you actually are. If rumors of your 'massive schlong' are as exaggerated as those of your 'massive intellect', you probably have an innie.


(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 22:05, closed)
So is 'gaylord'

(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:58, closed)
Important enough that I account for 80% of your b3ta activity.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:41, closed)
You've changed your office telephone number, right?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:27, closed)
Nope.
Still 0800 11 11
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:33, closed)
No, no, no, no...
...two thirds of your total posts being about ONE poster isn't a bit tragic and stalky at all.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:46, closed)
I'm very spethul.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:49, closed)
That's the best you can do?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:10, closed)
Why would I make an effort?
You've gone sobby mental already.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:14, closed)
Wow. Such a great argument you've put forwards.
I'd take at look at your own posts before saying something like that.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:19, closed)
NO, U!

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:22, closed)
It's better than having 100% of your posts being an utter wanker.
Each to their own I suppose.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:57, closed)
Lowhut?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:01, closed)
IKNOWWHATYOUAREBUTWHATAMI???

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:05, closed)
Cheers,

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 14:59, closed)
Is it that one?
I thought it might be the weeping plumber.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:10, closed)
Might be the pseudo-intellectual one who posts on two accounts and always tries to have the last word.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:18, closed)
Cheers.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:22, closed)
I've narrowed it down to one of the twelvty with an unhealthy but understandable webcrush on me.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:43, closed)
Is setting up a sock account the best way to get close to you then?
Just asking for a friend, like.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:46, closed)
I respond pretty well to flowers and chocolate too.
I'm a right slag.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:58, closed)
Typical male, it's always all about you, isn't it?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:47, closed)
Sexist prick.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 16:00, closed)
You awful troll.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:18, closed)
You're right, this IS shit trolling.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:21, closed)
I dunno, it's got quite a few replies.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:23, closed)
Imma have a wank about it soon.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:45, closed)
Trouble is, it only seems to be upsetting itself.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:45, closed)
There you go again.
I knew I'd get a fair bit of flack for this post. I just hoped it would have been of better quality.

Just because you think you're annoying me, doesn't make it true.
But more worryingly, it sounds like you're getting off from imagining upsetting a woman on the internet.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:51, closed)
Whose alt account is this again?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:56, closed)
All we can be certain of so far is that it is male. And crying.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:59, closed)
That's what's in your mind.
Reality is something else.
It's amazing that from a few posts you can analyze someone.
I suppose if I put a kiss at the end you'd think I fancy you...
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 16:50, closed)
No need.
The fact I now account for 90% of your b3ta activity is romantic enough.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 16:53, closed)
I'm fairly sure it's H*ppy Ph*ntom's.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:46, closed)
God. I hope not.
That would genuinely be too tragic for words.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:55, closed)

'fraid not, Wolfie - I'm quite happy to point out that you're a tedious failure with this account, so I have no real need of extras.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 22:19, closed)


(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 22:48, closed)

Why am I wearing a snail's shell?
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 22:53, closed)
this thread is missing something here.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 15:49, closed)
THIS WENT WELL!!

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:20, closed)
DEAR INTERNET USER
I HEREBY GIVE NOTICE THAT I HAVE COMMENCED AN ARGUMENT WITH YOU ON A WEBSITE ON THE INTERNET.

YOURS SINCERELY,

cheers
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:35, closed)
DEAR COMBATANT,
I ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF YOUR NOTICE AND CONFIRM THAT WE ARE NOW AT ODDS!
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:58, closed)

this is the happiest day of my life
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:21, closed)
Dear Frank Snow
You are one of the few good things about QOTW, please post more stories.

Yours, Drimble
xxxx
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:20, closed)
Listen to Drimble for he is correct

(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:00, closed)
i just want to be part of this argument.
i agree or disagree with whatever the point is.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:08, closed)
It's pretending to be a girl, doveylovey.
You should probably offer himher it some sex or something.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:18, closed)
bumhole?

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:21, closed)
That's my name, don't wear it out.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:23, closed)
We should totally tip off Gonz, Sexface and Stuj that there's a possibly mentally ill girl getting upset here.
They'll clean up.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:21, closed)
I bet sexface has already done nasties in it.

(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:27, closed)
I may
or may not agree with you.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:20, closed)
So this is your 2nd qotw story?
I think you'll fit right in.

Just don't forget to tell everyone you're a girl.
Several times in 1 thread if necessary.
(, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 22:08, closed)
Show us your minge, love.

(, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:00, closed)

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