Alright Fatties?
How's the Lying and Internet Knight club doing?
It's been a while.

Consider this festive cheer from JMG, b3ta's own hero.
Everybody's friends, it's wonderful time of the year. How's life on the other side of the internet?

No fat chicks.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 15:57, 79 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sympathy Reply

(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:09, Reply)

There's no need to show off near Christmas.
Most presents have already been bought.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Still going with the same old routine then?
Didn't really work well for Jim Davidson.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:38, Reply)

How are you feeling Blousie?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:45, Reply)

See thread below Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

*Sighs*
Goes to check...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

*Returns*
*There there*

Get drunk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I knew you'd say that.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Did you have a nap this afternoon?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I did.
I'm watching Horton hears a who. It's quite good.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I'm watching the porn on BBC2

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Don't you mean Channel 4?
There's never any porn on BB2.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

BBC2 right now.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Collie-tastic!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

You should watch 27 dresses
I feel really bloody sick as well. Think I have a fever. Might watch Kick-Ass or something since I don't own any chick-flicks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

It's on the TV.
Hopefully you will get ill now and be ok for christmas.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Well I hope that Amberl doesn't get ill at all.
*Pokes tongue out!*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Play nice Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Sorry Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I hope so
I might rewatch Goal!, that always cheers me up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Have you seen Goal 2?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:06, Reply)

yeah
that was also good. Haven't seen Gaol 3 yet though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

I had no idea I'd managed to drag a third installment out of the series.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I thought he was racist.
When have I ever been racist towards you lot?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Actually.
I forgot this is the lying board.
Is this roleplay? Am I Hitler?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

When have any of you lot been in a race which wasn't heading towards a hamburger van?
..etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I wasn't implying you were racist.
I was implying that you aren't funny.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

If I was going for jokes I'd have started my post with "Here's a Joke:"
I'm not the turn, here.
Sometimes I say the nicest things, and people on here just want to argue.
If I'd logged in with a different username, you'd all treat me ever so nicely.

Imagine if I was a girl? I'd be fighting off the crater-faced with a shitty cyber-stick.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I'd rather not try to imagine you as a girl if you don't mind.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:06, Reply)

The feeling is mutual.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

You don't have to.
There are pictures.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I'm alright.
Cheers.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Replying in a popular thread

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Fair play, here.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I'd wager that life is both fat and upset for these people.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:04, Reply)

It's like you can read my soul.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

It's like reading a Hairy Bikers cookbook only without the jovial banter.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

No jovial banter here.
Jog on.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I'm prepared to agree with the boy, Action..
Action is one of our smartest b3tans. He doesn't make things up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Replying to JMG here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:06, Reply)

SHIT'S KICKING OFF NOW!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Good evening
I'm drunk.

That is all.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:17, Reply)

Good work sir.
Where have you been today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:19, Reply)

Same pub since 12, it's been a good day

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Unfair
I am sober, and skipping a party due to being sensible. Boo!
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:23, Reply)

You're a very naughty boy.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:27, Reply)

Are you suggesting that he isn't the Messiah?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:28, Reply)

Yes, yes I am.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:39, Reply)

Good.
Because we're all different. We're all individuals...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:40, Reply)

Having met you I can substantiate this statement.
Hi Jeff *waves*
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:41, Reply)

I'm not

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:13, Reply)

Correct answer!
Have some Python points.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:27, Reply)

Can I have some python points?
I need a boost.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:31, Reply)

What is wrong with Blousie points?
I've got billions of Blousie points I'd love to give you.

By all means, have some Python points, but are they special enough?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:46, Reply)

How do I get the Blousie points?

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:52, Reply)

With *waves* and tales of amusement.
Also, you can have extra Blousie points with with every 6 litres of petrol (or a chunky tumbler).

Why don't they give away chunky tumblers with petrol anymore?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:56, Reply)

I guess everyone has chunky tumblers now.
*thinks of amusing tales*
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

I am breaking the bottom rule
Especially hard, as I've got one chubby paw in a box of chocolates.

Totally went on a date today with a hot blonde.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:31, Reply)

Squeeeeeels!
Hope this one isn't a pillock.


*crosses fingers and toes*
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:40, Reply)

She's lovely.
And also a member of these fair boards. Sorry to get your hopes up :P
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:43, Reply)

Aw! don't do that.
You got me all excited then.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:44, Reply)

Haha, I'm swearing off men
due to CTB being a coward and other assorted shenanigans. I have my cat, a big room, a nice bath and DECENT WATER PRESSURE so shit is peachy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:51, Reply)

Sooooo glad to hear this : )
Retreat and gather your forces for the next battle. Who is CTB? gaz me.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:54, Reply)

Oh he was the one I was talking about, on my course etc.
Stands for Chubby Tory Boy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Good God woman!
Not Boris Johnson?
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Not as sexy, no

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:59, Reply)

S'true!
Bozza has an element of fuckability about him...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:01, Reply)

Eugh no thanks

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Hi petal!
You still feeling iffy?
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:14, Reply)

Ooooh that Sexface!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:50, Reply)

Love of my fucking life.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:50, Reply)

That's possibly the most horrifying thing I've ever read on the internet.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:55, Reply)

Anyway, would have said he was more "ginger" than "blonde"
but I've tried to wipe it from my memory...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:56, Reply)

You're still young.

( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 18:57, Reply)

Sex so bad, she's sworn off men.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:09, Reply)

Hope you and Applebite had a good night!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:13, Reply)

There is no such thing
as no fat chicks on b3ta.
( FIEND, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 19:15, Reply)