having no secretaries can also fuck off
how the hell does one insert a new slide in power point? argh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:13, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

www.powerfinish.com/templates3.html
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:21, Reply)

thank you both
god, you'd have wet yourselves laughing at me at the gym last night - they have spent a fortune on all this new equipment, and amongst other things have now got bikes with big screens that simulate mountain biking/racing etc.

between my hatred of bikes and my ineptitude with computers, i was beyond useless. i simply could NOT work out which way to lean and i kept going the wrong way and cycling over cliffs and up rockfaces. which is pretty fucking knackering. the personal trainer was crying with laughter, as were the severely hot blokes running on the treadmill behind me :((((((((((((((((((
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

They wouldn't have been cold if they were running on the treadmills

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

=/
=/ =/ =/ =/ =/ =/
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

i don't understand
spik eengleesh, boy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Just assume the usual reaction I have
when you mention something like this. How can you lean the wrong way? It doesn't make sense.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

because it confused me
i was right, the bike was wrong. stupid computer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

If you want to turn left, you lean left.
Surely you can't have been consistently leaning right. Where would the logic be in that?
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

erm
i'm trying to picture the screen, no, if you want the bike to turn left, you have to lean right, surely?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Why?
And show your working, I'm genuinely fascinated.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

No sweetie, if you want the bike to turn left, you lean left.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

but then you fall off!
the screen is going left anyway, so you have to lean right to balance it out....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Oh my God.
Suddenly the inability to alter a clock to tell the time correctly makes sense.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

no you don't - it's just about momentum and stuff.
even though I don't get the maths behind physics, I know that you're just supposed to go with it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

but if the bike is curving left
and i want it in a straight line, surely that means leaning to the right to straighten it up???

argh why is my brain wired up wrong? so in a car if i am skidding to the left, i should turn the wheel to the LEFT? cos i thought i should turn it to the RIGHT to counteract the skid?

fuck, good job i haven't skidded yet...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

no, you turn into the skid
so that the wheels are pointing in the direction of motion - the "I meant to do that" maneouvre. This allows the tyres to regain traction and THEN you turn away.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

ok.......
..... so if the car skids to the left, i turn the wheel to the left, then back to the right?

what if i am on the motorway and there is something already on my left - strawberry jam?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:40, Reply)

No. Oh my God.
On the computer, the screen was moving to the left because that is presumably where you're supposed to turn left in order to follow the track, or whatever. You turned right and ended up in a cliff.

For God's sake don't apply that logic to real life. Real life and computers are two different things, please try to bear this in mind.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Fine, I'm going to have to explain physics, a subject with which I am barely familiar.
When you corner on a bike, you lean into the corner. When you turn left, you lean left. This is because you have a high centre of gravity on a bike and if you don't lean when you turn, you will lose your balance, because the direction of motion and inertia are no longer in balance. You will fall off to the right.

Cars do not follow this rule. The centre of gravity is much lower and you're dealing with traction vs inertia, not gravity.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

i'm not going to lie to you
this makes no sense to me whatsoever.

and i read it three times. with my finger under each word.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

When on a bike, lean in the direction you want to go when you corner
if you're in a skidding car, turn the wheel in the direction you want to go.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Next week, on "Ask A Man"
a summary of the rules of Cricket, pitched at a level even the prettiest of women can understand.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I am horribly sexist.
In my defence, I wouldn't be if it wasn't consistently necessary.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Right click > new slide

( Kroney, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)