G-Lo makes me moist
Not really, I'm just pissed and that thread wasn't doing much. Hello. I officially became an old man today. Any pointers on how to be an old man? I've got the moaning about mundane stuff sorted but any other tips gratefully received.
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:23, 53 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Pull your trousers up to your armpits

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:24, Reply)

Sadly, my enormous penis and testicles don't allow such shenanigans

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:28, Reply)

you'll get breasts of your very very own

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:25, Reply)

I used to have my own breasts, they were quite big ^_^

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:26, Reply)

mmmm
moobs
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:27, Reply)

I love your moobs.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:41, Reply)

They've been gone for months
Probably why I'm so fascinated with ladyboobs these days
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:42, Reply)

I meant Swipe's moobs
Moobalicious.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:45, Reply)

That was a 30's thing, I need a new part of the female anatomy to grow in this exciting new phase

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:29, Reply)

Moan about the youth of today

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:32, Reply)

Funny you should mention that, I fucking hate the way young people laugh a lot
and are generally quite happy
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:34, Reply)

also pretend an interest in gardening
and smoke a pipe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Fuck that, I'm old but I'm not that old

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Hey, I occasionally smoke a pipe.
And you'd have to be at least twice my age to be considered anywhere near old.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:55, Reply)

Yeah, guessing I am twice your age, cheers for rubbing it in

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:58, Reply)

It was more the comment about pipe smoking=old
Sorry for making you feel ancient.
Actually, if you're under 60, you're not old. You might just be "middle-aged"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:01, Reply)

But still probably, under 60, twice your age.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:03, Reply)

Am I fuck 30.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:05, Reply)

Sorry. I got that horribly wrong.
I was trying to suggest that being 60 would make any of us MORE than twice your age.

I got it wrong.

I blame me age.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:07, Reply)

I should point out here that I am nowhere near 60
ta
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:09, Reply)

So you're not old, you're just middle aged.
Is that worse?!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:18, Reply)

He is probably still younger than me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:19, Reply)

You're not old.
THAT old, anyway. Wouldn't even say you were middleaged.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:29, Reply)

I will be in 4 years though.
I'll start going grey and losing my hair and stuff then, I expect.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:33, Reply)

monty had a brilliant phrase for lampito's 19/20 year old mates
he said something like "i hate their short lives and long potential"

gotta see his point
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:46, Reply)

yeah but he also calls them the Skins generation :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:53, Reply)

Foreskins generation.
I love Monty and I think he feels the same about me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:54, Reply)

A little b3ta love-in

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:56, Reply)

Treasure this moment.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:57, Reply)

Yes.
Monty gets me all a fluster.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:57, Reply)

Someone thought I actually fancied Monty
lolololol
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:01, Reply)

Doesn't everyone?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:03, Reply)

He's too similar to my father gone wrong
Which has an alarming subtext seeing as he bums me in porn.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:05, Reply)

He's too similar to
gone wrong
Which has an alarming subtext seeing as he
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:09, Reply)

We're thinking of doing a colab with bert

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:19, Reply)

Oedipus Sex

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:26, Reply)

I love this

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:29, Reply)

My family are massive geeks
there was a bit of debate over who was the father of our cat's kittens- with the uncomfortable realisation it might be one of her previous kittens. My mother weighs in with Oedi'puss' Rex and I contribute 'Jo-'cat'-sa
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:32, Reply)

those puns aren't geeky
Just obvious...
(CheatingRabbit, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 20:06, Reply)

How old is official 'old?'
I'd suggest running your hand over your radiators on the regular basis, especially if you know fuck all about heating systems, just so you've got something to talk about when you're down the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:37, Reply)

Interestingly, I was down the pub earlier talking about open fires
KILL ME NOW
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:39, Reply)

But how old is old?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Pretty fucking old

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:44, Reply)

Some shit for brains aspie just accused me of being musically narrow minded.
What a cockwit. www.b3ta.com/questions/worstband/post1024118#answers-post-1024561
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:40, Reply)

I never liked Technics

( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:46, Reply)

You cock.
I suppose all this time you liked Vestax?

JUDAS!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:48, Reply)

PDX-D3's baby, had 'em 10 years now with no problems
Fuck all this +8 nonsense and no reverse shenanigans.

Mind you, Technics decks aren't as bad as Stanton cd decks, 'kin hell, never buy Stanton CD decks, that was £700 up the pooper :(
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:54, Reply)

Why would I buy Stanton CD decks when I don't play TECHNO AND STUFF?
I'll stick to breakbeat thangyewverymuch.

Vestax- marvellous decks for scratching but for mixing just too fucking powerful.

They made my Steve Vai records far too MUSICAL.

You breast obsessed cunt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:56, Reply)

You into scratching?
I've got most of the dmc championships from around '91, it went through a funny phase with scratching with body parts that I wasn't too hot on, but some of it is fucking impressive
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:01, Reply)

That just sounds like a trip to the VD clinic.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:04, Reply)

You cock.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:26, Reply)

No. YOUR cock.
You unclean fool.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:34, Reply)

I like breasts.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:44, Reply)