i am correct
i know i've never called you gay!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:56, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I don't doubt that part, that'a what I'm thanking you for
I was contemplating whether you're alone in this respect. I'll just agree, I used to be engaged to a law student and she never let me win one argument. In four-and-a-half years.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

i can see we are going to get on just fiiiiiiiiine.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

My experience gives me a head start
Not only do I know better then to think I could win an argument with you, I also know that the reason for this is not because you're a lawyer, but because of the aforementioned tits.

Now, about the loan of your bra...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

today's is ice blue satin with a black lace trim
is that your colour?

sorry it doesn't have matching pants though, as ann summers only had them in sizes anorexic arse or morbidly obese arse, so i had to leave them on the rack.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Sounds charming
*strokes thighs vehemently a la Vic Reeves*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

on a practical note, it will hoist them right up
for maximum cleavage and shapeliness. they'll look like two little jellies in a pot. i could rest my chin on mine today, which makes a lovely change from resting them on my toes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I'm struggling to attempt to remiain vaguely polite and gentlemanly
and not descend into outright sex-pestery. Also, I conclude that you have either enormous breasts or no neck whatsoever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

There's no reason it can't be both
Like Gladstone Small choosing between two basketballs.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

both
it's kind of like 3 gigantic basoomas from the fourth chin down to the fifth stomach, if that helps with the descent into sex-pestery.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

What a glorious description
I'm so impressed with your wordplay that I'm breaking my "never try to type one-handed" rule
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

WAIT A MINUTE. you're just using me to shatter the gay rumours.
a "beard", i think the technical term is...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Nonsense
There is absolutely nothing I can do to shatter the gay rumours. I even introduced my girlfriend to a B3tan last night but I know this will convince absolutely no-one except him. If I travelled the country having sex with all the female B3tans, plus some gobby celebrities who would be sure to tell Heat magazine all about it, I would still return to proclamations of bumderhood.

Thus reassured, please continue telling me about your breasts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

well, i'm kind of done
we could move onto my ass if you like? (this is in no way a cunning attempt to see if you leap on the anal topic with homoerotic glee)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Hang about, I need to indulge my inner maths geek
Let's hear some statistics
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:06, Reply)

what, like 28FF, 16, 32?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Yep
Although with a slightly less splittable waistline, if you please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:14, Reply)

ok double them all
you're halfway there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Ahem
You're a 56KK?

Is that bollocks?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

TOP bollocks.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

there is a pic in my profile
do your own research!

and maths. doubling 28 would only take you HALFWAY there, i said...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

The maths I'd managed up to that point was boggling my tiny mind sufficiently
without going up to a 112XX. Also; so there is, and I'm impressed.

*continues thigh-rubbing with renewed vigour*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:47, Reply)

the beard thickens!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Just accept the compliment woman

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 12:58, Reply)

i'm not very good at doing that
but ok.

thank you. now move over and let me rub your thighs for you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

*Removes hands*
*crosses fingers*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 13:07, Reply)