So I got screwed for about 200 quid today
thanks to the ex-wife, and will probably not see my kids for a month or so. Anything interesting happened to you today?

May contain whinyness, but if you cannot whine to strangers on the internets, then where can you whine? Ah fuck it, just ignore this then
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:24, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm still waiting on my delivery for my screen protector for my HTC
Might have been lost in the post. I share your pain.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I hope it
doesn't get all scratchy for you!
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I got up late
and had the shits.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:30, Reply)

You win.
Next thread.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Like
the sphincter-burning kind?
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Why the fuck do you want to know?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

this is a fair point, but then, why the fuck did you mention it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

There's so many layers of irony and wit in that post it's hard to explain.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:41, Reply)

if wit were shit it would be constipated

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

ffs
you can share too much.

and you just did.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:37, Reply)

It's ok, I didn't shit myself.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:39, Reply)

that doesn't make it ok

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I don't think anything would make it OK.
unless perhaps this was some kind of poo-based forum.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Well most posts on here are fucking shit,
so in a sense it is one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

not really
just read an article on the daily mail website about a book about mistresses, I think I may buy it
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Link please?

(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:36, Reply)

article

book
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Won't your other books get jealous if they find out?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Best keep it on a separate bookcase

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

and pay for a new dustjacket

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:39, Reply)

and keep telling it you're thinking about leaving the other books as soon as the baby books are in school

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Just don't read it in the marital bed

( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Are you suggesting seedy hotel rooms would be best?
You could tell the other books you're going to play golf for the weekend I supppose?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Well, you're only staying together for the sake of the paperbacks

( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

*golf applause*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

oh, I say. well played.
Classic cover drive.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

it doesn't have to be a seedy hotel
it could be a bed and breakfast, as long as it's out of town.
way out of town
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

And don't feel guilty darling
I don't love my other books anymore, not in the way I love you.
But when asked to throw them away be told 'I've had them too long'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:46, Reply)

even though they don't understand me
the children are still too young. especially the one that hasn't been born yet. how did that happen? i was forced into it. FORCED.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I think you've slipped from "books" into "people" there.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I'm always doing that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

We're having another little pamphlet
I can't leave her now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

But but but...
But after that last brochure, you said you were having the op!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:56, Reply)

even though i'm not sure i'm the author

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

*claps*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

It doesn't matter if it goes wrong those Amberl.
There are plenty more books in the library.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

yeah, but think how many people have read those books.
It'd be like throwing the little book of calm up the main room of the Bodlean.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

*Bodleian
but that really made me laugh.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

*bows*
*vows to improve spelling of ancient Oxford institutions*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Anyone who goes on /talk should love the newletter title.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I appreciate and endorse the sentiment, but you'll have to explain why it resonates so much with /talk

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Frisbee Adam plays it
and fucking bangs on about it being the best sport ever, he's a bit of a twat.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

oh holy fucker

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:56, Reply)

but it has the word 'ultimate' in it
it must be good
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Oh, well fucking PLAYED Rob.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

The little postscript makes it even better

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

(I gazzed him to ask him to do it)

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Your ex-wife is pimping you out as a prostitute?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I just assumed he is losing his eye-sight and that £200 was going to be used for laser surgery.
That was why he'd be unable to see his kids.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Are you a member
of the occult?
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:53, Reply)

that sucks - and this is just the place to winge
nothing more exciting has happened to me than a bunch of guys in my kitchen doing something to the gas supply RIGHT NOW. Sure wish they'd shut the door, I'm cold
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Just warm yourself up with some nommy 'Quantro'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

yeah, then I'll go larping
you big internet bully, you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

*kicks internet sand in Incident's face*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

*cries*
right, that's it I'm gonna get my internet bigger brother

(volunteers anyone?)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

I would, but I prefer monty to you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

That's OK
I prefer Ebola to you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Well he IS a fucking good goalkeeper I suppose.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

It's a very interesting virus.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Sure, here you go:
www.dailymotion.com/video/xqkaw_the-jefferson-airplane-volunteers_music
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

a song for every occassion

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

It's a great record, that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Remember to film it all

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

They didn't charge me or nothign
it's just some dudes who wore flurescent jackets and looked like they knew what they were doing. They've also been digging up the pavement outside.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:22, Reply)

weird
maybe they're into live action role plumbing.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

*offers spanner of fixing and ubend of Thrthnaghar*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Oh god!
They just need to get to the gas meter, so I emptied the cupboard of it's contents. The only thing in it was a hamster cage with a pot of liquid latex in :/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:28, Reply)

And an apostrophe?
EDIT it looks like I am picking on you. Sorry
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

that's because you are!
I can't expect to type properly, I've not had a cup of tea, yet (I didn't want to make it when the gas men were here otherwise I'd have to make ones for them, too)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)

You stingy git.
You haven't got Noel coming round on Sunday, by any chance, have you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

?
does he drink a lot of tea, then?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

No,
he said he was going round someone's house for dinner on Sunday and the old stingebag had asked him to bring 'nibbles'. I just put two and two together and got 'who could be that stingy? Oh, I know who'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

I can't deny the stinginess
but the chances of me using the term 'nibbles' are low
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:06, Reply)

i always feel obliged to offer workmen tea
then i have to stand and talk to them whilst they drink it because they ALWAYS say yes.

i hate tea.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

has Richard Gere been around much?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:32, Reply)

he finds the latex helps them
go in more smoothly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Why do people have to bring their fucking children into the workplace?
I hate children.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

'cus the regular ones are in school.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

You need a big wugglywugglyglomps
and a dash of some internet tea from your usb port
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

nyommy nyommy internet cake is on it's way too sugarpie

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

rory
what has happened to your grammar?

/shock
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

It's friday innit, standards can drop
I might fight the b3ta fat and go to the gym in a bit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Hell yes!
Even if we in sweden prefer our tea black and with tons of caffeine!
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Hahha, oh man, that sucks, that sucks the big one.
Do you miss them? I bet you'll miss them terrible. Haha, oh man, she's got you pegged. 200 quid too ! Hah, just to give you a kick, hahaha, oh man, that sucks. I bet that money could be put to far better use, hah, like paying your bills and stuff, hahaha, damn man, classic.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Yor warm sentiments
makes me, uhm warm
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

I like, old movies, like men in black 3, It's not even out yet, I pirated the DVD, but that's just me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:55, Reply)

I feel you pain
This month the ex wants 300 quid for feeding the kids, 200 quid cos she's decided to fly one of them to Oz in Business Class!!?? and I have to pay for the ugrade ...and another 50 for the other's birthday party.
I tried to remind her that I need to eat and pay bills too, but it fell on deaf ears.
(dchurch bah, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)