I've got a step ladder.
I didn't get on with my real one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:32, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*hand to face*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

It's always an adjustment when your tools remarry.

( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I ended up with a load of half chisels
they were fucking useless
( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

d of hal s

For no other reason than it popped into my head
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

A loaf chisel?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Yeah, I don't get it either

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Exactly - it just randomly popped into my head
I did put a disclaimer on saying so
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

How's your knee Al?
I ask for purely selfish reasons since my knees and ankles appear to have inflamed a little, and I was wondering if you have any suggestions?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

If the reason for the inflamation is a partial dislocation
I recommend getting them put back in the right place, it makes them far less painful.

If it's not, I recommend gaz-ing a photo of your breasts to me so I can take you to the opera in my harrier jump jet whilst manipulating your damaged hand.

Or alternatively, take some ibuprofen and apply a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Option A sounds better
In my medical opinion
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

I can't imagine I've dislocated them
They're just emanating a huge amount of heat and are quite painful for no apparant reason.

Took some paracetomal and it made no difference. The opera you say? Which one?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Die Fledermaus

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I'll let you choose
I like the one about the guy from high school who meets a chick over the summer and then pretends he doesn't like her when they get back to school. Or that one about the wicked witch who is green, but hey, as I said, your choice.

Paracetomol won't reduce swelling, but you can take parecetomol and ibuprofen together.

But don't trust my opinion, i'm on the internet.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Your face reduces swelling.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

no, it's just so fat
it makes other swelling look insignificant

also, your mum's face causes swelling. in my pants.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

That's because she gave you mumps

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I hope it made him sterile

( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

It did
But then he met Catface...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

he is a miracle cure

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I bet he got pregnant

( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

He's now a surrogate of sorts
Carrying Catface's sperm in his testes like squatters in a dilapidated cottage.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

that is true
fortunately I had the forethought to irradiate Mrs V's uterus before meeting Catface for the first time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

allergic to aspirin
I like the one about the humans dressed as cats pretending to be humans. Or something.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

It's a good job I didn't suggest taking aspirin then

( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I thought most ibuprofen products had aspirin in them?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

They would be fairly shit ibuprofen if that were the case.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

A quick google informs me :(
on the plus side it looks like it's bad for you if you're allergic to aspirin so at least the doctor was right on that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Hmmmm, in that case, put your feet higher than your heart
and put ice on them. And send me a picture of your breasts.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Excellent advice Dr Al

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

ibuprofen is a different thing to aspirin

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)