Things on the horizon
Good afternoon my fellow denizens of /ot. What big things do you have planned for this year? Holidays, weddings, kids, rape, murder?

I am finally getting the opportunity to go to Disneyland Paris for the kids, and not at all because I think it will be good! A quick trip to Centreparcs will also be on the agenda at Easter as it appears to be some kind of family tradition to go there now.

Alt Q:
Due to me being an almighty cunt, I forgot my lunch so it consisted of scrapings from my office drawers (mmmm) and a cheap undetermined flavour of noodles (which appeared on eating to be very spicy fish). What did you lot have/forget?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:00, 208 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm planning on going to Japan this year
For two weeks, July-August time, with a friend of mine. This will include hiking up Mt. Fuji if at all possible.

Alt: I forgot my security tag, so it's a pain to get in and out of the lab. I think I'll skip lunch and work through it so I can leave earlier.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

"hiking up Mt Fuji"
Is that Lampito re-adjusting her bra?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

*raises eyebrow*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

That sounds cool
The Mount Fuji bit, not the pass. I always keep emergency food at work for just such an occasion
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I have a box of muesli bars in my car back home for the same reason.
and lollies. And a big bottle of water. And oil for my car. And a toolbox.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I'm sure that is entirely practical in Australia
I don't think I'd starve to death in the 7 miles to work though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

ahaha it's practical because my car is 16 years old this year,
and is sort of falling to peices.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I think everyone should have a car around their own age.
I think this is why Monty still goes to work in a Viking boat.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I found some trail mix in my drawer
This makes me happy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:09, Reply)

WTF is trail mix?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Raisins, dried apricot, brazil nuts
Banana chips, coconut flakes and dried papaya.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I like trail mix
A quick search of my desk finds:
Mixed nuts
7 packs of noodles
3 tins of sardines
1 packet of Hovis crackers
Some Ryvita
and a breakfast cereal bar!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

You have noodles and sardines in your desk?!
That's a bit random.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

OK, desk drawers!
I'm what is technically known as a greedy twat so I dont like to stay hungry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Yes, but sardines?
I love them, but wouldn't consider taking tins of them into work as a snack.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Why not?
We have a proper area to warm them up, make toast, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I have university planned for this year. kinda scary.
I forgot how to cook rice without a rice cooker, so I'm cooking it on the stove with the aid of the internet :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

put boiling water in pan
bring to boil
add rice
simmer until rice is cooked

cooking rice is not hard. people who can't do it are fucking retards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

ahaha I know, I just haven't done rice without a cooker for about 3 years

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

That's a shit way to do rice
Fry rice with a little oil add boiling water, heat for 10 minutes with a lid on, take off the heat to steam for about 5 mins.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Can I come to Euro Disney with you? I think I would enjoy it if I went.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Not a problem sir
Can you fit into a standard sized case?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:07, Reply)

No, but I also don't like children, so I can take their place....
I hope you don't mind breaking the news to them that they can't come.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I may have to reconsider this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You don't have to come if you don't want too, I've never meet you (I think), so I won't be terribly bothered*, and your misses seems like she would be good company....
.... It'll be lovely for the two of us to get to know each other, esspecially if you put in a good word for me. Worst comes to it, she'll know the grass is greener on her own side.

* No offence or anything, it's just I ain't meet you, I'm sure you're a nice guy, and once I got to know you we could be best mates, but in the mean time while I don't know you, I'm not bothered by going on holiday with you... in the same way I'm not bothered by going on holiday with anyone I haven't meet.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

hahaha!
Genuine officelol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

=)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

This year is already looking pretty good to be honest.
I have two stag holidays and subsuquently two weddings to look forward too. I have 6 weeks school experience coming up which is going to be brilliant and I am definitely going snowboarding at christmas.

Alt Q. straight from lectures to work, no food 'til four and I'm fecking hungry.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

My good lady wife is a teacher
I remember how hard her teaching practices were!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I'm much happier teaching than being taught so can't wait to get in there now.
I have done a ridiculous amount of pre uni teaching practice and TA work so confident I can get a lot out of it. What age does she teach?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

11-18 year olds in IT
She loves it but teaching is hard!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Braver than me, teenagers are hard work.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Yep
But the little ones shit themselves
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Yup, but the ta's clean it up!
win
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Haha!
You are figuring teaching out very quickly! I commend you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I had a dream last night that I cut somebody with a knife so I'm guessing it's murder.
My only resolution [other than not cutting my hair] is "Don't talk about it. Be about it." So whatever comes up I'm going to go full force at it.
In a few weeks I'm going to try to get my passport. This is the only thing I have planned. Other than getting my dog spayed.
Woo 2011.

Alt: that sounds rather gross, I can't eat noodle packets like that, they make me sick. I have strawberry banana gum and tropical punch kool aid [which is horrible using sweetener and not sugar]
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Happy new yr Kristine.
No stabbing in January! bad form.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I'm lucky if I make it through without
I'm starting to get highly annoyed at people.
also, I didn't stab, I sliced.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Noodles make you sick?
Yet you can eat "strawberry banana gum" and "kool aid"?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

you don't eat the gum, you chew it
also, I am not drinking the kool aid, I just have it, as I said it's horrible

noodle packs are full of sodium so yeah, they're gross and I don't eat them because they make me feel sick
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I'm getting married in September

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Hurrah for this!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

unfortunately shitty industry has meant that my mrs hasn't got a payrise despite becoming a chartered structural engineer
and so we can only just afford the wedding, with saving hard from basically last may until september, and can't afford a honeymoon.

this may sound like our wedding is really expensive but it isn't. We're trying to do up our house at the same time, as well as live more than a shitty pauper's existence.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I think ours cost in total £8000
and we got £5000 compensation for horse related wedding shenanigans.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I suspect ours will be a similar figure all told

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I'm going to hire a masked gunman at my wedding to shoot one of the uncles that nobody _really_ cares about on her side of the family....
... the criminal constipation should then cover all the costs, it's a win-win really.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You're going to hire Theresa McQueen?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

COURT CASE THIS WEEK !
Oh man, that's gonna be good, do you reckon Camel is going to crack?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Instead of gifts, get people to chuck money towards your honeymoon
Most weddings I went to last year did this, and they all went on amazing trips.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Or failing that
just go somewhere nice for 1 or 2 nights then have your honeymoon as a 1st anniversary present to each other
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

this is likely what we will be doing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

We went to York for a night
as our daughter was only 18 months and we didnt want to leave her. We then all went to Centreparcs and it was cool
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

we'll probably spend a few days in St Ives
shortly after the wedding I would've though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I don't want that though
I'm not much of a traveller anyway, and would rather have a load of nice stuff that will last me a long time.

I have a really hard time committing to spending money on a holiday
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Fairy muff!
I love traveling, but I'm usually too lazy and shit at saving to go on my adventures.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I don't care for the actual travelling aspect of it
planes, trains, buses etc. I find them horribly uncomfortable and strangely stressful.

I also have a hard time sleeping in my own incredibly comfortable bed, so inevitably end up sleep deprived when I go away for a period.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Fuck that shit
he wants stuff. LOADS OF STUFF! We've already established this.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

To carry on b3tan wedding tradition
I'm going to photoshop and frame a picture of him fucking your bread maker.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You didn't make me a wedding photo did you!?
You cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Nor me - twat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Nor Tightly
But then i wasn't invited to either wedding. I won't be invited to Vipros' either, but I have an empty frame at home and it'll only go to waste.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:33, Reply)

huzzah!
if you are especially awesome to me in the next 9 months then you may get invited....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

*questioning look*
You don't want b3tans at your wedding...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

believe me, you couldn't be worse than the guy who will be my best man

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

FUCK YEAH

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

......at the moment, lot's of things can happen in between....................
just joking pal. First beach trip of 2011 coming up soon. I'm going to try the new kite out.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

slacker
I was surfing on new years day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Good man, my friend has just bought himself 5mm everything as he thought
he was going to have a heart attack at puttsborough over christmas
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I bought a £50 pair of wetsuit boots on the way home from surfing the wednesday before new years
because my feet were so cold they hurt. a lot.

amazing investment.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I like the hoods but they are a bit gimpy!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

they fuck with your balance a bit
I tend to wear one, but have it round my neck most of the time. Only put it on if I have to charge through a load of waves, or if it gets particularly cold.

my wetsuit, boots and gloves are all fucking top-notch though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I've not really got any plans yet
I'm considering Sonisphere this year, the lineup is superb. So, Sonisphere and 2 bashes, that's it. Wow, my life is dull.

Alt: A Steak & Cheese sub. I have no idea why I bought it, I'm disappointed every single time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Meatball is the only true path

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Meatball is good, but I didn't fancy it today
I actually wanted a Club with Bacon, but for some reason I changed my mind at the last minute. What a waste.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Meatball my friend
Only the meatball. It will never let you down
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

the lineup is ok
biffy clyro and slipknot as headliners on saturday and sunday is shit compared to the last couple of years.

Friday night is worthwhile, the rest probably shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Friday night is the main thing I'm interested in, but I'm not sure if they do day tickets...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

They don't do Friday tickets
which is rather sneaky. I'm not going because so far the Sat/Sun headliners don't justify it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

that's pretty much my view
but there were a bunch of great bands last year like Karnivool and Bigelf who were outrageously good, so I'll see how things develop.

My mrs would like to see Metallica and Slayer again though I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'd see Metallica again
but I'm not bothered with Slayer and I'm actively bored by Megadeth
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Same!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I think I will always love Slipknot
even though I grew out of Nu-Metal (or whatever it's called these days) years ago. I actually posted a Jamie Cullum song on my fb the other day!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I never cared for them
even when I liked nu-metal
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I like a number of their songs
And have enjoyed them performing live.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Duality
is a cracking tune
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Gently is my favourite

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I'm going on the friday, see who is half decent on saturday, then back home
It's worth it just for the friday. You should come, we can drink cider together and I can laugh at your ludicrous haircut.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

As much as I am aware this will only make you dislike me more...
I don't drink cider. Well, not proper cider anyway.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

it's going to depend on cash
and who else gets announced. If I do decide to go then it'd be awesome to meet up with you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

As above
not going because Slipknot and Biffy Clyro are not good enough as headliners to justify the expense.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I've only got a few things planned this year so far
Reading beer festival at the beggining of May, then three weddings over the summer.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I thought polygamy was illegal.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

He is a Muslim

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

And very charming and witty.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Lamb meatballs with couscous and spicy tomato sauce
Also 400g of sliced roast pork. Protein farts shall be forthcoming
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

*PARP*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Totally worth it

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Couscous always disappoints
Its never as tasty as it should be
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

It depends what you flavour it with

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I may redecorate my hallway, but I will need to buy a multi-position zig-zag ladder
and then I will have to find somewhere to keep the ladder. Luckily I have lots of storage space.

With all these important decisions to consider, i'm amazed I sleep at night.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

My house is 3 storeys
with 2 flights of stairs. I paid a man to paint it - a wise choice I think
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Where's the fun in paying for it?
(Decorating I mean)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

It took him a week to paint
the walls and skirting boards, etc.

I'm not spending a week painting a fucking landing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Not even a...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Especially not that!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Oh boy, I would love one of those ladders
I've got one that you can make into an A frame and then one bit comes off for use as a separate ladder in addition to the A frame. I'm so hard right now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I've got a step ladder.
I didn't get on with my real one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*hand to face*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

It's always an adjustment when your tools remarry.

( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I ended up with a load of half chisels
they were fucking useless
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

d of hal s

For no other reason than it popped into my head
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

A loaf chisel?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Yeah, I don't get it either

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Exactly - it just randomly popped into my head
I did put a disclaimer on saying so
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

How's your knee Al?
I ask for purely selfish reasons since my knees and ankles appear to have inflamed a little, and I was wondering if you have any suggestions?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

If the reason for the inflamation is a partial dislocation
I recommend getting them put back in the right place, it makes them far less painful.

If it's not, I recommend gaz-ing a photo of your breasts to me so I can take you to the opera in my harrier jump jet whilst manipulating your damaged hand.

Or alternatively, take some ibuprofen and apply a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Option A sounds better
In my medical opinion
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

I can't imagine I've dislocated them
They're just emanating a huge amount of heat and are quite painful for no apparant reason.

Took some paracetomal and it made no difference. The opera you say? Which one?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Die Fledermaus

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I'll let you choose
I like the one about the guy from high school who meets a chick over the summer and then pretends he doesn't like her when they get back to school. Or that one about the wicked witch who is green, but hey, as I said, your choice.

Paracetomol won't reduce swelling, but you can take parecetomol and ibuprofen together.

But don't trust my opinion, i'm on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Your face reduces swelling.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

no, it's just so fat
it makes other swelling look insignificant

also, your mum's face causes swelling. in my pants.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

That's because she gave you mumps

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I hope it made him sterile

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

It did
But then he met Catface...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

he is a miracle cure

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I bet he got pregnant

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

He's now a surrogate of sorts
Carrying Catface's sperm in his testes like squatters in a dilapidated cottage.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

that is true
fortunately I had the forethought to irradiate Mrs V's uterus before meeting Catface for the first time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

allergic to aspirin
I like the one about the humans dressed as cats pretending to be humans. Or something.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

It's a good job I didn't suggest taking aspirin then

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I thought most ibuprofen products had aspirin in them?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

They would be fairly shit ibuprofen if that were the case.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

A quick google informs me :(
on the plus side it looks like it's bad for you if you're allergic to aspirin so at least the doctor was right on that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Hmmmm, in that case, put your feet higher than your heart
and put ice on them. And send me a picture of your breasts.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Excellent advice Dr Al

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

ibuprofen is a different thing to aspirin

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I've got one
it's pretty awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

That does sound like an awesome ladder
do you have any photos of it?...y'know candid photos, in ALL the positions *rubs thighs*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

This year I will definitely be attending
the Latvian midsummer do, Beatherder and Bingley Music Live. I also plan to become an internet billionaire and/or get a real job.

Alt: Nothing yet. I'm having an internal debate about whether to go to the bakery or the chippy. All I know is that I will have wine with it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I was just thinking "Billionaire, but she's a girl !", I don't mean that in an intentionally sexist way, it's just that "Billionaire" sounds like a male term, because (at least in the papers), you never near of a female billionaire.
In my mind, it's a male term, such as 'bloke' or 'guy'. Although I include women in the plural of 'guy'.

It's weird how some words are assosiated with the sex of someone, when it's unintentional.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Well maybe when I'm a billionaire, you'll start thinking of all billionaires as having ladyparts.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Most of them seem to be cunts already

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Badum-chh!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

ayethangewe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I wouldn't be a cunt if I was a billionaire though
I wouldn't get the chance. Within a day I'd have been killed by an avalanche of all the shoes I'd have bought.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Not much planned
Finals, then applying for jobs and work experience, perhaps going on holiday if I have the money etc

Alt Q: I just had a sandwich and another energy drink
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

We do not speak about this year.
Scary and yet simultaneously tedious events are going to unfurl and I'm not looking forward to them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

What I actually have planned: nothing
what I potentially will need to plan: lots of things. Depends if I get a PhD, and if I don't, whether I stay here or go somewhere else.
I want to go surfing and I want to go to the Edinburgh festival. As yet I haven't really progressed to the planning stage though.
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

my weekends are already full up to the middle of march :(
nothing massively exciting, just nice things in the diary - brother's wedding, few hen parties, 2 weeks in the caribbean, trip to the new house in cornwall, possibly squeezing in a week in madeira or italy in september, hopefully passing my masters, loads of work stuff.

also my biggest change is making a serious effort to budget, so am instructing bank to transfer £1,000 every payday into a savings account for which i do not have a debit card. just not this month, because it's too late. or next month, because i have that big thing to pay for. and probably not march either.... but in april. definitely in may. or june.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I wish I had a grand each month going begging.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I know, just imagine how much you could spend on a salad for lunch each day...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

nothing now
that the bastards have been repossessed.

not even a crouton left.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:50, Reply)

You see, I now wonder whether to feel that they had it coming, charging as much as they did for a salad,
or whether to feel a bit sorry for them, seeing as all they were doing was trying to exploit all the fabulously wealthy denizens of The City.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

They were shut down by trading standards
as what they were doing amounted to outright robbery.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

in their defence
it was £4.95 for a salad, which meant base (green leaves, couscous or pasta) and 3 toppings. then about £1 per extra topping. it's just that i saw it as an excuse to get my 5 a day in 1 lazy meal, so stuffed in every salad vegetable you could conceive. this is why MY salad was £10 but nobody else's was probably anything like that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

But you said it took you several days to eat it all.
Making a mockery of the 5-a-day thing.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

That's man-logic Jeff
It doesn't apply to ladies and their mysterious ways.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

man-logic.
The best of all the logics.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

no no no
you are confusing my extortionate salads.

£10 = salad factory bowl for lunch

£20 = enormous cardboard carton from wholefoods market
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

no no no
£30 spent with no dead animal to show for it = FAIL
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

..... yet most of the people complaining have been to Pizza Hut/Dominos/[any inter/national pizza place]... and done almost exactly the same thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Yeah
If I did that it would leave me approximately £100 left...
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Consider the possibility of living off Tesco Value baked beans for a few months
and imagine how fabulously wealthy you'd be afterwards. (Before then imagining how you'd blow it all in five minutes to make up for the trauma of several months eating nothing but baked beans...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Blow it all
is right *PARP*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I would struggle to pay
my rent and all of my bills out of that £100 and still have enough left for beans...
(berk, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

going begging, no
spent on total crap so that i can never afford a service for my car/my service charge/contents insurance when it comes up....... yeah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

*sales shares in the "_fabulous_" department of louis vatton.... buys shares in the luxoury section of George*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

You and me both
I want to do the same but with £100, and even that might make things tight.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm currently angry with Sainsbursy credit card
my online account is frozen as I can't get their stupid login details right and they don't appear to have collected my minimum payment for my credit card.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

I checked my bank details at the weekend
I went a fair bit over my agreed overdraft limit last month, so will likely get shafted because of that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:01, Reply)

their stupid login details?
surely they are your stupid login details which you have just forgotten.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I'm one of these people, who it doesn't matter how much I've got, I'll find a way to spend it.
I shouldn't be trusted with my own finances, they get completely abused.

It's only the 10th and I've started quite a bit into my overdraft and I've just found out that some major income isn't gonna happen any time soon (client woes), but at least I have another invoice I can send off so I'm not 100% buggered.

Just to put the boot on, I decided to upgrade my laptop two days ago =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

this is also me.
letting agent on £9k per annum? i'll spend that and some more.

city solicitor? i'll spend that and some more...

hopeless! still at least i am shoring up the economy, eh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

s w
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

*gentle applause*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

*ungentle thump*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

*massive horn*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Apologies!
Too easy to strikethrough
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Me three
Hence next month I'll be starting a standing order into my holiday account. This month I'll be keeping as cheap as I can in order to pay off Christmas spending.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

This is gonna sound pathetic, but it really does help me.
Say I'm looking at a £50 shirt or something like that, and I really want it, but am short, I phone up my ma' or a mate, and say "I've found a really nice shirt, it's £50, looks amazing, tell me I'm out of order if I buy it"... and 90% of the time, Ma' will say something like "Leave it 'till pay day"... or if it's an offer that is going to expire, she'll say "Remember XYZ bill".

She used to say "It's your money, you do what you want with it", so I would get it most of the time, but if it's something she knows I would quite-like but not really desire, she'll say "Leave it". Which is exactly what I want to hear (maybe not at the time to hear that, but in the long run).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

very good idea, mothers always know best
unfortunately i'd need a ouija board to get this advice from mine...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

That, or find a very good looking male friend with fuzzy hair, award winning smile, fabulous sense of humour and works in 'the media' at an 'extream sports' company.... to do the same ,)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

you should make an app for that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I really could do that, very easerly, and it would teach me how to make apps.
Good thinking !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

cheers :-)
I may have been inspired by the Big Bang Theory where the hot girl wanted to make an app where you could take a pic of someone's shoes and it'd tell you where to get them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Not me
I need to up the standing order to my savings account as I always have money left over, and every 6 months have to transfer a lump sum.

/ultrasmug
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I suppose I should attempt to get some kind of internship
Or a job that isn't selling shots to banker-wankers. Just found out my friend who is in exactly the same position as me is suddenly being paid megabucks by an up-and-coming gallery to live in a small mansion for two weeks with a chef and her boyfriend and organise the old owners' art collection. That was a kick up the ass in terms of job-hunting.

Alt: I had Tesco sushi. You know, the kind that is by no means real sushi but still somehow quite nice.
(Charmander, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I have ordered course materials off Amazon
to get some Windows 7 qualifications. Exciting fucking stuff. With any luck I will be a certified pro this time next year. That'll be nice.

I've been in my job for four years now and it's only bred complacency. Time to make some changes and hopefully end up eligible for multiple extra moneys.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Don't bet on it
I've got Microsoft qualifications coming out of my ears here! If you need some Windows 2008 books I've got plenty of the proper course ones. You are welcome to borrow them once I've done my exams
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Well, it's mainly because I might want to change jobs at some point
the phat loot aspect is really just a wishlist item.

That's very generous of you, I'll certainly bear it mind. They've changed the structure now, so once I've done the client stuff I'll think about what direction I want to go in.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

MCITP 2008
is the latest one for me. I think the qualifications look OK on a CV but I'd prefer experience when recruiting (which I will be interviewing 4 potentials tomorrow)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I think it's recruitment consultants that like to see them
as 4+ years supporting 1200 users gets them all confused with the big numbers.

Really, I don't get much of a chance to play with 7 as we've only just moved to AD, believe it or not. I don't want to get left behind again.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:58, Reply)

*non technies move along please*
We have moved to 7 for the desktop and are switching to 2008 servers now. We are also a MS Silver partner and need qualifications to keep it. Microsoft have stiched everyone by saying anything pre 7/2008 is not valid so the Windows 2000 and 2003 MCSEs go out of the window
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Yeah
I had started studying for 2003 last year. We've been on it for 2 years now, having been on NT4 previous. The amount of wrangling it takes for this company to overcome its inertia means that I won't get to seriously look at 7 for years yet, so I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands.

It'd just be nice to be able to say that I'd achieved something, really.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Someone studying off their own back for a qualification
would stand out for me as someone to interview
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Hah! Be my guest
I await details of all the multiple extra moneys you want to give me.
( Kroney, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Seriously
It would make you stand out as someone who can do stuff off their own back
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Seriously mate, all you need is to get just one MCP so you can put the MS logo on top of your CV without listing the qualification so they interview you just to satisfy their curiosity about what MCP you have...
... and then while you're there you can dazzle them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

A massive purge
I'm a borderline hoarder and if I want to move at some point (and I do) I need to get rid of a LOT of stuff. I've already shredded two binbags full of old bank statements and bills and stuff, I need to keep at it and get rid of a ton of books and CDs to the charity shop or eBay. Hopefully I can do a little every day and get it done in a few months, then go flat-shopping!

AltQ: I didn't make my shopping list until I got into work this morning, so I am almost certainly going to get home and *facepalm* when I realise I've forgotten something obvious.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Is it cheese?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

On the list
You can never have too much cheese.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Bread?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Should be ok for the next couple of days
unless I see a big round loaf in which case I might be tempted to make a shooters sandwich.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

What is a shooters sandwich?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

It's like a little piece of heaven in sandwich form

(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:35, Reply)

You take a round loaf, take off the top and hollow it out
put a steak in
put a mix of chopped shallot and mushroom and herbs on that
put another steak in
put the top back on and wrap the whole thing up
put it under heavy weight overnight to compress it.

DiT made one and posted pics on his FB and now I want one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Oooohhhhh fuck me!
*shudders* I WANT ONE NOW!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 15:55, Reply)