Which bits of DIY will you be catching up on at the weekend
If so, hopefully it goes better than this chap www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23914320-mother-and-son-electrocuted-in-bath-as-heater-falls-in-water.do

Alt : any other plans, not that I care
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going out for a curry this evening
Then off to football tomorrow, with both pre and post football drinks planned.

Sunday - no plans yes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Excellent food and weekend plans together

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I plan to fit a new lightbulb in my car headlights
then mark some work
then go to a panto
I have a fascinating life
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Needs more food

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:24, Reply)

i might buy sushi

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Oh no you're not!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)

*flashback*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I will be eating food this weekend
EDIT: Only 35 mins until I'm Home Sweet Home
(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Top combination there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Will you be having LUNCH this weekend?

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Not once, but TWICE!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

lol!

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I've been home ages
after bullying a bunch of students to leave (genuinely - students in our department hang about for ages doing work/talking about work sometimes), I packed up and left by 4:15. This is a proper win
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Are you a dinner lady?

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

I have the face to be one

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

;)

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

I have to work Saturday
...well I havr to be in work at least. I'm looking forward to the start of the moto racing season when I will have some qualifying to keep me amused
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I only like motorsports when it involves rally cars crashing or ploughing into spectators

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)

it's only funny until someone gets hurt
then it's just hilarious
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

I shall be wanking my flaccid, mottled grey micropenis
(until it splits in two in a fountain of arterial blood, semen and urine) in the bakery section of Hackney Central Tesco at 11am tomorrow.

I shall then be carted off screaming obscenities by the Police and ambulance services to Homerton hospital where I shall undergo emergency surgery. Assuming this is successful and I don't die, I shall then be arrested and charged, or sectioned.

Bit of a quiet one, really. Just a bit of 'me time'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

The Homerton has a scary Mental Health unit attached to it, try not to be sectioned

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:31, Reply)

I visited a friend at Homerton
following his burst appendix surgery. The bed to his right contained a Polish vagrant who drank all the anti-infection stuff*, and in the left hand bed was a chap undergoing an African exorcism, as far as I could ascertain. It was fucking brilliant in there.


*this led to his falling out of his bed, ripping all his tubes out and staggering around like nothing so much as a drink-crazed nombie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Start writing the sitcom now Monty.
It'll be fantastic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Yeah, the real comedy gold is found in the Mental Health Units

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

I visited one once
(honest, visiting). Since the nurses didn't wear uniforms it was hard to tell the warders from the prisoners
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

The staff tend to be just as mental as the patients
The mentalness seems to rub off on them
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I can beat this.
I went to several raves at Park Prewett Mental Hospital in Basingstoke in the early 90s. As not all the inmates were locked up, there were genuine loonies stumbling around the corridors in their pyjamas whilst we stumbled around in not much better shape ourselves. They were truly 'mental, mate'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

you're an opinionated Londoner
what's Hamstead like?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Very nice indeed in a villagey kind of way.
Not really like London at all - which it wasn't until not much longer than 100 or so years ago. Full of American bankers and cunts though, as it is hugely expensive to live there.

cf Highgate Village where I had the good fortune to live for a while. I saw 'The Great Suprendo' in the butcher's. He looked like a raving (pif paf) poof. lol.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

not London-y is a big selling point for me
There is a job I might apply for, posh independent school
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Do the posh schools have Dinner Ladies?

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

sounds like it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

They have 'Ladies who (prepare) lunch'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

;)

(TheColonel, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Go for it. It is a charming place and the pupils will be of a high standard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:39, Reply)

the GCSE kids will have a pupil teacher ratio of 8:1
6th form 4:1. They might even have PROPER EQUIPMENT!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

have you ever been round highgate cemetery?
having read "her fearful symmetry" i am now quite fancying a trip there!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

I have indeed.
Karl Marx's tomb is next to that of one of the Spencers - yes, it's Marx & Spencer - LOLZORS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:03, Reply)

don't make me think you're going downhill!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)

My life is like the fucking Cresta Run.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Didn't they have circuit breakers?
Aren't they a legal requirment now?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:53, Reply)

His idea of DIY heating in the bathroom was to bang a nail into the wall run a cable into the bathroom and then balance an electrical heater on that.
That an electrical heater was balanced precariously over a bath doesn't seem to have set off any alarm bells. 100% botched. Now he's killed half his family. What a prick.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Yeah but if I threw a heater in my bath I'd get a bit of a shock
the circuit breaker would go and my housemate would moan at me that his xbox cut off BEFORE A SAVE POINT
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)

i think you should try it anyway
you can report back to everyone on monday
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:16, Reply)

I got banned for encouraging suicide
but when YOU do it A GIRL you're still here.
ONE RULE FOR ME ANOTHER FOR THE OTHERS
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:18, Reply)

in my defence
you've sounded suicidal all week. i was only trying to speed things up. does that really deserve capitals? DOES IT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:19, Reply)

WOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo TUNISIA!!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)

it's friday night, dude
"wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the beers are on me" would have a much much bigger impact.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)

Nope
Anyway an Arabic African country has thrown out an authoritarian oppressive corrupt government after 23 years. they can literally do anything now, it's a new start. Why don't people give a shit this is an enourmous deal.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)

that does sound awesome
yay tunisia!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:31, Reply)

here's an overview
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12195025
but it's been going on for a month, there's unconfirmed reports the president and his family have fled the country.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:32, Reply)

i kind of do, a little bit
but not as much as i do about leaving here in 20 mins to get a train and then about the free drinks in first class on the train and what will i have in the curryhouse tonight and i am calling the potential new bloke and should i put make-up on to make the call and can i fit a trip to marks and sparks to buy some new tights for sat night before the gym on sat morning.... and so on and so forth.

i suspect other people are just the same.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:32, Reply)

This is why nothing ever changes here.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)

"people never change
or rather they do, but then they quickly change back"

edit - lonely planet doesn't appear to have updated its tourist recommendations yet. i love reading the lonely planet about really random countries. they are particularly damning about chad.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:37, Reply)

we're very good at 'tutting'
blaming someone else, then switching the telly over
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:37, Reply)

what's happening there?
I've not watched the news since christmas
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Encouraging fellow forum users to kill themselves
It must be Friday
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:19, Reply)

friday chompy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)

WOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo TUNISIA
I'm forcing everyone to be happy about their relativly peaceful revolution.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)

I've managed to miss most of that today
I've always fancied a trip to Carthage so this revolution might benefit me. Viva la whoeveritis will take over, power to the people and all that.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)

True, flights will probably be cheap for the next week
WOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)

of course you care
i am off up to cheshire tonight, which means i am at work until about 7.30 :(((((

late dinner in wilmslow, tomorrow is gym, shopping, massive girly night out in town, sunday is gym, family birthday lunch, back to london.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Traffic's always a shitter on a friday night up the m1 and m6
I've spent many a bored hour sat in traffic on that merry journey. I look forward to a full schedule of items purchased and prices!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)

this is why i am on the train
or the m40. the m1 sucks donkey dick.

i couldn't possibly tell you what i had bought WITHOUT prices, don't worry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:13, Reply)

Isn't there a phenomenal cheese shop in wilmslow somewhere?
or is it Didsbury?
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)

the cheese hamlet
that's in didsbury. they also do AMAZING biscuits and really random flavoured crisps, like "lobster and hot chilli lemon".

there's also a brilliant cheese shop in alderley edge.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)

cheshire has the best cheese
i miss it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)

cheshire is the best of all the counties
the cheese IS a particular highlight
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)

flat and full of cheese
ideal for getting fat
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:33, Reply)

:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)

That's the one.
I am very jealous of your weekend, I must say :(
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Evening berk.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)

the next few weekends will be awesome, i can't deny it
but i'm v jealous of pulp, so we're quits.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)

Are you not tempted with Pulp?
Berk planted the seed of 'why don't I get a ticket for Pulp as it's the day after the bash' thought in my mind, she's like Derren Brown but with Pulpy-mind-games'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Do it!
you both should, it still isn't sold out you know...
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)

not sure
i will be up to it after the bash. berk is more hard-core than i am.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)

This is hardcore?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Ba-dum tish!
I am ridiculously non-hardcore Swipe, get yourself a ticket. It's a whole day thing so by the time Pulp are on our hangovers will have been danced away!
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:32, Reply)

i have warned you about the quality of your puns
don't make me play that funky music white boy by banging the ignore drum
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:33, Reply)

*Sad face*
Sorry Swipe.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:45, Reply)

So you should be.

(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:47, Reply)

What was your favourite Pulp album?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)

I'm afraid I'm going to be terribly boring on this one
and say Different Class. Sorry.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 19:01, Reply)

tonight is Jersey Shore and drinking
tomorrow is my team at playoffs and drinking
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Lacks lunchtime plans

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)

I plan to clean
there's actually very little food to have for lunch, it's all massive packs of deer, steak, chicken and ground beef

and cookies, must not forget those
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)

meatalicious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Yeah, whenever going to the store it's all "we need to stock up, etc"
and we end up with a months worth meat but run out of veggies within a week
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:43, Reply)

I'm giving the man from Orange two more minutes to call about my replacement handset
and then I'm calling them up and sorting it out.

And I'm having a glass of wine so they'll be sorry.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)

fighting wine!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Totally, Crunchythedonkeybrayselgar

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:33, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about
but I like it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)

It's a spoof album cover from the sleeve of a Half Man Half Biscuit album
'Crunchy the Donkey brays Elgar'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:37, Reply)

i've not heard of it I like HMHB, though
perhaps that's my next name change
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)

What is the HMHB album that has the photo, in the 'inlay'
Or the two fists that, rather than having Love and Hate written on them, have DVLA and RSPB?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)

As I haven't seen it, it's either one the uncle pirated for me
or it's CSI Ambleside...
Dunno.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)

It might well be Ambleside.
What is your favourite HMHB album or track then Roots?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:53, Reply)

Paintball's Coming Home

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:54, Reply)

There are two versions of it (if you didn't already know!)
Original: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxR0JY-FMh8

Alternative: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex5WYA3pkUo
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:56, Reply)

That lass has a rather nice arse
I always thought HMHB were like Hot Chip or Mr Scruff. This does not seem to be the case...
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:59, Reply)

I fell in love with the first one, but Ilistened to the second one last year and it's just as funny,
Makes the Room Look Bigger is good and 24 Hour Garage People.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Is this like a Liverpool anthem?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vaO5oTDwY4
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Fetch me stick, Margaret!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)

i'm going to be performing open heart surgery
to replace what I hope to be a defective valve. If it's not defective, I've lost a tenner to some internet parts bin for no benefit.

This is on my car, obviously.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Does cleaning count as DIY? I could really do with sorting out housework.
I won't though. I'm going to be trying to get well enough to go to work tomorrow and Sunday. I'm also going to write an article about conscience clauses, and why they're a pile of steaming horseshit while trying not to get too angry. I may also troll the EDL on Twitter, because that's fun and I don't want to leave the house.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)