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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Less of the sexy and sordid
but otherwise...
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:02, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
pfft it's all right

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)
Sexy classics undergrad, mostly conservative, unearthing new territories
Wants a nice karaoke date in central Kettering.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:17, Reply)
Lampito?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:18, Reply)
That's who I was going for
But really I just wanted to say rude words in secret.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:19, Reply)
words like karaoke?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:20, Reply)
I was hiding words in acronyms
And was struggling to think of 'k' words.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:21, Reply)
haha!
I only just noticed that. The classics bit made me assume Lampito
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)
I had to start it fairly on topic, so people might not twig immediately
But it was damn hard to do!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:25, Reply)
well you succeeded!
Although I'm definitely telling Lampers what you said about her haha
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)
Snitch!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)
What will you offer me to keep quiet?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)
Oh God, I don't know...
What do you most want?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:40, Reply)
Right now
I'd like some delicious but low calorie food that is not a yoghurt or soup
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
I'm not sure I could get something delicious and healthy to you in Oxford before it's too late
How about something I can bring to Tayaab's (assuming you're going?)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)
I am going to Tayaabs
but you don't need to bring anything since I fully anticipate having to pre-starve for two days in order to gorge myself. What time you turning up?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)
I'll be doing the same!
Not sure yet, got the day free so might head down early for a mooch.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)
Skinny Cow ice-cream?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)
You just want the regular kind of sexual shenanigans?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)
Possibly, possibly
sordid sexual shenanigans just sounds all kinds of wrong though.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:09, Reply)
Sordid in the sense
of out of the ordinary.

I'm not being very persuasive am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:11, Reply)
So actually you're suggesting something
Sextraordinary?
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:17, Reply)
*facepalms*

(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:19, Reply)
If Amberl got rid of 'sordid' and replaced it with 'sultry'
Would that work?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:13, Reply)
It'd be an improvement
but equally as untrue...
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:22, Reply)
I told you this would go well.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:26, Reply)
You could always swap them around...

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)
Sordid scientist?
that just sounds even worse!
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)
Hmm....yeah, actually it does.
But sexy sexual shenanigans are surely the best kind of sexual shenanigan?
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:09, Reply)
Well, I would hope
that when I get round to having some of the aforementioned shenanigans, that they will be sexy, yes. Otherwise it'd just be plain disappointing.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:10, Reply)
Otherwise it'll be a date whereby you knock on someones door and the just run away, yes?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:12, Reply)
I can't really say that's one of my kinks, no...

(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:13, Reply)
And nobody wants disappointing sexual shenanigans.
That just wouldn't be very sexy.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:13, Reply)
I've already had my fair share of those
and no, they aren't.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:15, Reply)
Definitely in the "Bad sex is worse than No sex" camp, then?
(Join the club...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:18, Reply)
Yup
Life is too short for crap sex.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:22, Reply)
Amen to that!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)
You have no idea
how truly abysmal some of the sex I've had has been!
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:26, Reply)
How bad are we talking?
Bad enough that you didn't even know he'd been in?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)
My first boyfriends all time record low
was 47 seconds, and yes it was so bad that I had nothing better to do than watch the clock.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)
Is that from the moment of penetration, or from the moment he unbuckled his belt?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)
The former.

(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)
Oh dear...
I'm guessing he was consistently... pre-punctual? Surely if that was a one-off then it's mean to hold a grudge.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)
Pre-punctual!
Yes, somewhat. I don't think he ever lasted more than 5 minutes, and I stayed with him for a year after that. *belms*
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)
That sucks!
A one-off 'false start' I reckon is acceptable, but to routinely shoot first and ask questions later is just not on.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:38, Reply)
It certainly is not
even if we were teenagers at the time. Since he is now extremely fat, balding, ginger and a rabid Tory...I think I'm well out of that one. Like I say - no sex at all is better than that!
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:42, Reply)
Just make sure you don't end up a left-wing
Anne Widdecombe.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
Fuck off
fuck RIGHT off.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)
Add it to your profile!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)
Sounds like you came away with all the looks, character and awesomeness there!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:45, Reply)
Gordon Brown
would have come away with the looks, character and awesomeness from that relationship.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)
Haha!
Both my long-term ex's are still hot, so I don't have that guilty pleasure. Both are good friends of mine still though, so it's not like I have to worry about psycho ex's!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)
I don't have any psycho exes
unless you count the guy I ended up dating by accident. I just have number of exes whom, when I look at, think 'what the FUCK was I thinking?!'
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)
Ahhh
I have one of those, but it was only a secondary school relationship that lasted a couple of weeks.
Thinking back on it, she was quite scary, but then her nickname was Scary Sam... Should've taken that as a clue...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:58, Reply)
Even I would have taken that as a hint, I think.
the story of psycho ex.
(berk, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)
To be fair I only found out she was called that AFTER we got together

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 0:05, Reply)
What's wrong with Tories :(?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:45, Reply)
Nothing, necessarily
but he takes it far, far too far. If he was any more frothing about certain things, he'd be virtually a nazi.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)
Did you find yourself eating more boiled eggs during the relationship?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:42, Reply)
No.
perhaps I should have, maybe smelly egg farts would have put him off his enthusiastic pawings...
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
Shh!
Women don't fart...

Apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)
My toaster takes about a minute.
You could have got up in the morning, put some toast on, gone back to bed, watch him satisy himself and they have a hot-bread snack!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
I would have preferred toast, to be fair
sex with him was just an embarrassing chore.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)
How long were you together?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:39, Reply)
Two and a bit years?
We were at high school/college.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:43, Reply)
So this relationship didn't really effect your studies then?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
Affect*
and no, can't say that it did.
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)
Sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)
My worst I guess was when the girl just laid there
Barely made a sound, arms to her side, it freaked me out! Show some enthusiasm, dammit!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
Well, if you will go on the pull in the mortuary...

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)
I was expecting this or a date rape gag

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)
It was a bit obvious wasn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)
I'm just glad you didn't liken me to Chompy
So thanks for that!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)
Pleasure! :)

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:39, Reply)
Eww
that sounds really creepy!
(berk, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
It really was
She'd been enthusiastic leading up to that point, then suddenly it was 'lie back and think of England'. Creeped me the hell out!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 16 Jan 2011, 23:35, Reply)

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