dr hug
meanwhile for those of you who give a fuck (ie vipros, where is he anyway?) dr hug excelled himself on last night's date when my friend and he were talking about losing their virginity:

"well of course it would hurt more for the beautiful young lady in question. after all, the male has to penetrate the hymen membrane."

who talks like that? who? the kind of twat who uses "hugz" 15 times a text message, that's who.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:20, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

HAHAHAHA!!
I love the Dr Hug updates, keep them coming!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

i know, it's sheer genius
my flatmate and i have been killing ourselves over it.

the problem is, it's been 5 dates now, and he clearly thinks she is his gf. something has to be done (and it's not him!).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

To be fair to the good Dr.
If you've been on 5 dates with someone, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think you're 'seeing someone'

And with the number of hugs he is sharing with the world, he sounds like a prize catch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Hugs are amazing

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
i hate that kind of soppy shite! cuddling/hugging is only ok immediately after amazing sex.

otherwise the other sofa is right over there, thanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Do you not think that 5 consecutive 'dates' would lead someone to think they are 'sort of seeing' someone?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

HUGZ4U LOL
Dr Hug sounds brilliant.

The Alan Partridge of the online dating world.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Did he give the teacher a quid to deliver you a box of thorntans, garage rosies and a teddy from clintons?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

not me!! my friend.
i would have binned this non-performing clown from my own circus after date one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

SNUGGLEZ !!!!!! ^-^

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I want to meet this guy and sincerely shake his hand
for giving the rest of us a 0.000004% better chance with the ladies.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

like you need it, mr tripod!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Ahhhhhh yeeeeaaah!
*trigger fingers*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I think I just made myself a little bit sick.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

She's referring to the Holy Trinity of male b3tans
Not how short your legs are.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Or how long my...
Oh!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

maybe i was
who knows?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

:/

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

She said text message
Not Facebook status update.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I very nearly vommited blood.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Oh shit, kitten isn't a feline is it?
=/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

No she is not

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

He's a furry through and through

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Fuck off

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Sorry
:/ *hugz* xxx
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

i might have to put it as my facebook status
except that she would disown me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Don't jeopardise the source of this hilarity

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:40, Reply)

this is true
maybe i should be telling her to stick with it rather than dump him. i mean, can you imagine the dirty talk this guy would come up with???

"oh affirmative, baby albeit one who has attained fully grown womanhood status, if you would be so kind as to accept my erect penile tissue into your bucchal cavity and manipulate it with your tongue muscles, i will hug you right down your throat."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I like this!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Does he look like Mr Logic from Viz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Well, if she does decide she's had enough
At least she can use the excuse "It's not you...it's my genotype."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

he sounds good value at least
but what a weirdo

do you think he is genuinely like that, or is just doing it because that is how he thinks women want a man to be?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

No, I think he's doing it because he's a cunt.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

This is brilliant. Amazing.
Is he fit?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

he is fit, apparently
and a doctor. and a hockey player. and kind and generous.

just sounds like a total gimp.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

hang on, I meet almost all of those criteria. It's not me, is it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

nooooo
i said "gimp" not "cunt".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

haha, well played.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Nah', I think she's talking about real hockey.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I think I'd be forced to overlook those positive attributes
if everything that he said to me made my flesh crawl.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

well quite!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

How she hasn't actually vomited in his face yet, I don't know.
She is definitely a more patient and forgiving human being than I.

I'd have just laughed in his face.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

She sounds like a dog at it's own sick
She fucking loves it! HUUUUGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

sort your apostrophes out rory
your standards are slipping!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

soz
Does she reek of desperation? I'm sure he has a legion of other annoying foibles which he's managed to mask so far, but will slowly dribble out over the course of time. She'll be on anti-depressants in no time at all.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

at least he'll be able to prescribe them

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)