If you could (and have too), change the following attributes about yourself to a celeb's attribute, what celeb would you choose and why?
- Inteligance
- Sense of Humour
- Looks
- Talent (you can pick up to 3)
- Sense of Morals
- Lifestyle
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:55, 104 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can I add three other catergories?
Standards
sobriety
location
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I missread the question but if everyone read the question like I did then my response is very funny.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Nah', I meant....
Inteligance - Steven Fry
Sense of Humour- Ricky Gervais
Looks - Andi Peters
Talent - Meatloaf's voice, Eric Clapton's guitaring, Ron Jermy's willy.
Morels - Jamie Oliver
Lifestyle - Pete Dockathy
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

gervais doesn't have a sense of humour
he is a colossal shitcunt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Oh good god this.
this, harder than Gary Glitter in Mothercare.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I really like him =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

unfortunately gonz you have been taken in
by the stupid unfunny cuntface.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Jamie Oliver does do great morels I hear!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Jamie Oliver does love his mushrooms.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Same birthday = same mushroom joke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

It is a good mushroom joke, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I thought so

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Trent Reznor
He's extremely talented musically, well respected, has kicked the drugs and drink and now is fit as a fiddle (fairly beefcake too) and he's minted but humble with it.
He also has two rescue greyhounds, lives in a secluded area up in the Beverly Hills and has an incredibly hot wife.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

And has a golden globe.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

That he does
And it looks like he might get an Oscar too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:02, Reply)

and one good album.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Contraversial
But go on, which one?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Pretty Hate Machine,
the rest of NIN's stuff is pretty much unlistenable noise with the occasional track of actual music in there, in fairness I haven't listened to anything after further down the spiral so my opinion probably isn't worth fuck all but I don't let that stop me spouting it.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

His later stuff is more listenable, if you don't like the angry noise style of things
The Slip is the last album, and you can download it for free from their site.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Probably no longer my cup of tea anymore
I like to stick on a bit of Kenny G and have a deep bath.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Fair enough
Was going to suggest also his instrumental album Ghosts, you can get 9 tracks of it for free too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

are you Trent Reznor?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

*hangs head*
Yes... buy my stuff please?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Oh no I wouldn't want to exchange my mundane lifestyle for that of an obscenely rich celebrity.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

i just got this. which says something about my intelligence, anyway.
ok...... mila kunis

intelligence - she blagged her way into fame and fortune
sense of humour - she does comedy movies and "family guy"
looks - i would kill all your first-born children to look like she does
talent - who cares, have you seen how she looks?
morals - she has been with that weirdo culkin for years, clearly has some morals if not standards
lifestyle - rich and famous, baby
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

She is one of my few celebrity crushes
Good choice!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

3some?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Yes please!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Along with Summer Glau, Eliza Dushku, Christina Hendricks, etc...?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:44, Reply)

why in the name of fucking christ
would I want to want any of the attributes of some vacuous celebrity wankspoon?

Dear God. No wonder the world is as fucked as it is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Then don't pick a vacuous celebrity
Some celebrities are very talented and remain well-rounded and humble despite fame and fortune.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Like Trent above? He's not a "celebrity" in the sense that Gonz means it.
In that he's not constantly in the public eye.

And no offence Lab, he's a musician. He's hardly changed the fucking world. I'm sure he's a lovely and talented man, but I'm no more likely to see him as an aspirational role model than I am the pope.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

He's famous, therefore arguably a celebrity
No offence taken mate, I know he's just a musician and hasn't changed the world, but I love a lot of his work and respect how he's managed to ditch the drink and drugs. I'm a fanboy though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I totally respect the bloke
and musically he's very talented. But I'd never want to be him, which is what I thought Gonz's thing was about?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Not him entirely
But I'd like his musical ability and bank balance. And wife.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)

dr hug
meanwhile for those of you who give a fuck (ie vipros, where is he anyway?) dr hug excelled himself on last night's date when my friend and he were talking about losing their virginity:

"well of course it would hurt more for the beautiful young lady in question. after all, the male has to penetrate the hymen membrane."

who talks like that? who? the kind of twat who uses "hugz" 15 times a text message, that's who.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

HAHAHAHA!!
I love the Dr Hug updates, keep them coming!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

i know, it's sheer genius
my flatmate and i have been killing ourselves over it.

the problem is, it's been 5 dates now, and he clearly thinks she is his gf. something has to be done (and it's not him!).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

To be fair to the good Dr.
If you've been on 5 dates with someone, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think you're 'seeing someone'

And with the number of hugs he is sharing with the world, he sounds like a prize catch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Hugs are amazing

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
i hate that kind of soppy shite! cuddling/hugging is only ok immediately after amazing sex.

otherwise the other sofa is right over there, thanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Do you not think that 5 consecutive 'dates' would lead someone to think they are 'sort of seeing' someone?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

HUGZ4U LOL
Dr Hug sounds brilliant.

The Alan Partridge of the online dating world.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Did he give the teacher a quid to deliver you a box of thorntans, garage rosies and a teddy from clintons?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

not me!! my friend.
i would have binned this non-performing clown from my own circus after date one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

SNUGGLEZ !!!!!! ^-^

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I want to meet this guy and sincerely shake his hand
for giving the rest of us a 0.000004% better chance with the ladies.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

like you need it, mr tripod!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Ahhhhhh yeeeeaaah!
*trigger fingers*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I think I just made myself a little bit sick.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

She's referring to the Holy Trinity of male b3tans
Not how short your legs are.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Or how long my...
Oh!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

maybe i was
who knows?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

:/

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

She said text message
Not Facebook status update.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I very nearly vommited blood.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Oh shit, kitten isn't a feline is it?
=/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

No she is not

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

He's a furry through and through

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Fuck off

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Sorry
:/ *hugz* xxx
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

i might have to put it as my facebook status
except that she would disown me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Don't jeopardise the source of this hilarity

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:40, Reply)

this is true
maybe i should be telling her to stick with it rather than dump him. i mean, can you imagine the dirty talk this guy would come up with???

"oh affirmative, baby albeit one who has attained fully grown womanhood status, if you would be so kind as to accept my erect penile tissue into your bucchal cavity and manipulate it with your tongue muscles, i will hug you right down your throat."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I like this!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Does he look like Mr Logic from Viz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Well, if she does decide she's had enough
At least she can use the excuse "It's not you...it's my genotype."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:40, Reply)

he sounds good value at least
but what a weirdo

do you think he is genuinely like that, or is just doing it because that is how he thinks women want a man to be?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

No, I think he's doing it because he's a cunt.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

This is brilliant. Amazing.
Is he fit?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

he is fit, apparently
and a doctor. and a hockey player. and kind and generous.

just sounds like a total gimp.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

hang on, I meet almost all of those criteria. It's not me, is it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

nooooo
i said "gimp" not "cunt".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

haha, well played.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Nah', I think she's talking about real hockey.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I think I'd be forced to overlook those positive attributes
if everything that he said to me made my flesh crawl.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

well quite!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

How she hasn't actually vomited in his face yet, I don't know.
She is definitely a more patient and forgiving human being than I.

I'd have just laughed in his face.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

She sounds like a dog at it's own sick
She fucking loves it! HUUUUGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

sort your apostrophes out rory
your standards are slipping!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

soz
Does she reek of desperation? I'm sure he has a legion of other annoying foibles which he's managed to mask so far, but will slowly dribble out over the course of time. She'll be on anti-depressants in no time at all.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

at least he'll be able to prescribe them

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Hmm
Intelligence - Stephen Fry
Sense of humour - Soren Bowie
Looks - Michaela Conlin
Talent - Regina Spektor
Sense of morals - n/a
Lifestyle - The Doctor
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Conlin Strachan
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

She is Really Wild, I hear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

The +Kevorkian
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

*Googles*
*understands*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Oh, cheers Labs.
Git.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

*tips hat*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:40, Reply)

My take
Intelligence - Stephen Fry
Sense of humour - I'll keep mine, ta
Looks - I'll downgrade to George Clooney (!!)
Talent - Lionel Messi (football), Tom Morello (guitar)
Morals - I'll keep mine again
Lifestyle - Keith Richards
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

The only thing I'd really request from a celebrity life
is the money. Sure, it can't buy you happiness, but it can buy a shitload of stuff to distract you from your misery.
( Kroney, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

This
I can't imagine ever being sad if I was loaded. I'd pay someone to be sad for me.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I'd pay midgets to wrestle.
Who could possibly be unhappy when watching wrestling midgets?
( Kroney, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Bastards and witches.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)

We looked into getting midget wrestlers for Catface and Crackhouse's wedding
We found a troupe of Mexican midget wrestlers, but it would have cost far too much to fly them over.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Mexican transgender midget wrestlers

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Thank you!
I knew there was something I was missing! Mind you, so are they...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Speaking of wrestling midgets
This has never stopped being funny
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Please can I be Jeff Bridges' wife fanku!
I don't care what kind of person she is.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Ooops! I've broken off-topic : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:25, Reply)

re-boot it with a new question then Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Hmm
I'd like Stephen Fry's intelligence, Zooey Deschanel's looks, and steal enough rock star/ comedy talent off someone to be able to make a living doing it. My morals and sense of humour are fine, and I think if I was a rock star or comedian then my lifestyle would sort itself out..
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Intelligence Natalie Portman
Sense of Humor Amy Poehler
Looks Natalie Portman
Talent Colbie Caillat
Morals Jordan
Lifestyle Angelina
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Hmm
Intelligence: Ben Miller
Sense Of Humour: Brad Pitt (Notorious pranker)
Looks: Gerard Butler
Talent: Singing voice of Joshua Radin, comic delivery of Billy Connolly and strength of John Cena
Sense of Morals: Dirk Kuyt
Lifestyle: Doctor Who
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:41, Reply)