Just went to the loo
And whoever was in there last left the most hellish stench. It was as if they shat burning peat into the bowl, then sprayed an entire can of peach Air Wick over the top.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:24, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Have you found any likely suspects?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

The building has about 50 blokes in, and only 3 mens loos.
I'll kill one a day until the lavatory stops smelling of Irish bogland.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

This sounds like an obvious solution.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Sounds like they've been on the hoegaarden.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Hahahaha, "Hoe Garden".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

It was more earthy than Ian Drury lyrics

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Surely Guinness
causes a more foul and stenchful gut than Hoegaarden? I thought that stuff was quite inoffensive... (the drink, not the post-drink-poo)
(berk, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Living with a housemate who goes to lots of beer festivals
I can safely say that smoked beer is the devil's own invention.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Trust me on this
Studio flat, northern Belgium, 6 blokes, long weekend on the wheat beer and a bathroom separated only by a concertina sliding door. That was a nasal low point in my life.

It's the fact it's unfiltered, I think.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Are you sure it wasn't just a can of Lynx?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

The discarded can of peach Air Wick in the bin was a giveaway.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

When I last went, somebody had left a gigantic log in the pan.
It's almost as if other people don't turn to view their work and then stand to attention and salute as they send it to a watery grave, Labs.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

He who smelt it dealt it.
Do you deny it?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

*sighs*
Yes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

We have our supplier.
The next case for the Playground Court is "Billy v's My Friend" - Plaintiff has filed a complaint of defamation of character regarding his ten foot willy.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Defamation of character? Hardly.
It's the charge of public indecency that I'd fight.

She was gagging for it, y'honour.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Grounds for assault?
She hit it with a rake. Is that "reasonable force"?

It's a matter for the courts to decide.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Frankly I think that the witness is unreliable
By dint of mistaking said member for a snake. Clearly this is unlikely in the extreme and calls into question the veracity of her entire testimony.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I believe the next case centres around attempts by the municipal waste collection authority
to prevent my father (or "old man" as he is commonly referred) from wearing his uniform whilst attending sporting events.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Surely it's a charge of common assault against "the girl next door"
who, upon being shown said appendage, hit it with a rake.

The defendant contests that upon first seeing the appendage she believed it to be a snake.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:40, Reply)

curse my slow fat fingers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

It depends if the story is true
"My Friend" could just be spreading lies about Billy exposing himself to the girl next door.

If so...defamation? Slander? If written on the walls in the bogs, libel?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

And also regarding the assault on the plantiff by the respondant, allegedly using a garden implement
after an ophidia/genitalia confusion, resulting in 47% reduction in said willy length
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

good god.
leave the legal speak to the lawyers you lot, eh??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Sorry, i'll stick to what i'm good at
*sweeps floor*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:59, Reply)

He who did the rhyme, commited the terrible thing that happened.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)