Why is my can opener broken?
What the hell am I going to have for tea, now?

edit: and why the hell has an 18 YEAR OLD just messaged me on a dating site??!!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:45, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Maybe he has heard you've got a microwave?
What did you prepare in your microwave yesterday?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

tesco sweet and sour chicken
then this morning I heated some milk

it was like witchcraft
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

when we first got one, back when i was about 6
my mum was trying to melt chocolate to make easter nests for her school. she put the chocolate in for a couple of mins. nothing. repeated. nothing. repeated. nothing.

eventually she poked it with a spoon, only to find out it had totally melted, but had just kept its square shape. just thought i'd mention it, cos, you know. well ok. that's 2 mins of your life you're never getting back.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:06, Reply)

it's always good to acquire knowledge
the lesson I have learnt: poke stuff with spoons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

good advice for life in general

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Also
Be very careful when it comes to heating coffee or tea. Because of the way a microwave heats substances, it's possible that liquids can be over boiling temperature without actually boiling. The sudden movement of the cup holding them or the action of adding sugar can cause sudden, voilent boiling which can cause bad burns.

It's not very likely, but it has been known to happen, particularly if the rotating bit of the microwave is broken.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)

OK
so don't poke *some* things with spoons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Best. Anecdote. Ever.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

i just like any excuse to talk about my mother
because she's dead, and it feels like i am keeping her memory alive a bit more.

do you have some kind of problem with that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Absolutely none whatsoever.
Apologies.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)