If you could ask god just one question, what would it be and why?
I mean, ask him and get a reply.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 16:39, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

"Oh fuck you actually exist?"
Because I've done...questionable things.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

What have you dune Stuj?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Well, for starters I've LIED Gonzy.
On THE INTERNET, no less.
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

why i keep missimg the last train home after bashes

(PsychoChomp, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Oh gutted, shouldda said, couldda crashed 'round.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Taken a look at your new room.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

it was cool crashed at mates in camden

(PsychoChomp, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Wicked =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

are you aiming to have every single member of b3ta live with you
like some sort of commune?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

My logic is that it's better than a stranger from a website/street that you haven't spoken too before.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

overall sound logic
although when i lived in a big houseshare with lots of other girls, it was generally the strangers who got on better and the friends who fell out - i think to a certain degree you are more polite to strangers!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:55, Reply)

he twists time for you when you drink

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

why do i have to be at work past midnight tonight? it's sunday. that's your day, god.
and will my flatmate have left any of the white chocolate toblerone by the time i get in?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

Toblerone makes a perfect toast-rack for cream crackers.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

this sounds like a massive euphemism

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I really don't see how.
Really. I don't.

Explain.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

i think it's just a rambling mess of potentially filthy words
rack
cream
crackers
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Rack = Tits
Cream = Jizz
Crackers = ?

Crackers?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

pants?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Under crackers?
Potentially filthy, yes.

But filthy undercrackers isn't something you'd want to celebrate.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

rhyming slang innit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:22, Reply)

For what?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

argh
you are just not getting it today, are you??

crackers = knackers.

as in, "i'm cream-crackered".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Sorry Swipe.
How much Toblerone have you left your flatmate in charge of?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:28, Reply)

a giant one
it was a present
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Does it annoy you that it was a gift?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)

no
i love gifts.

women love gifts. remember this.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Even if it means you can't tell us the price of the chocolate?
It was more amusing in my head half and hour ago
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

it should have stayed there
now it has exposed your woeful ignorance about the female of the species for all the world to see
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)

How much Toblerone was left when you went to work?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)

all
of

it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:18, Reply)

I can't imagine your flatmate would eat an entire giant Toblerone whilst you're out.
Don't worry. I'm sure it'll be fine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)

God
Why am I wasting this afternoon watching Smokey and the Bandit II?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Because it's a damn good film.
Now pass the popcorn.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:20, Reply)

I've not got any popcorn
But I have got some shrimps and bananas.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Close enough.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

he is from bristol
he doesn't mean the pic'n'mix foam sweets.

he means shrimps. and bananas.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:27, Reply)

RACISM!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Alright Bob?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Yes thanks, I have been to the gym, been on a fossil hunt and now
am having a bit of a sit down and a dick around online. You?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

a fossil hunt?
boy, you sure know how to party.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

I'll have you know that taking a hammer to a lump of rock to see if there's anything in it IS good fun.
I like trilobites the best.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

A fosil hunt?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

shooting old people in the face

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Topic at school is dinosaurs and I live next to the Severn Bridge
so always worth a look down there.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Are you looking for a rock that has the image of Richie
From the Manics on it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:43, Reply)

He isn't dead Jeff! one day he will return and the manics will be good again.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Good again?
I think I must have missed the day they were good before.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I remember liking the stuff my brother played
but by the time I grew up it was shit
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

motorcycle emptiness
and that were pretty good. I even quoted it in my degree exhibition

/not a goth, honest
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Have you got the painters in?
I'm offering sound alternative uses for a bar of Toblerone, and all I'm getting it grief from you.

I hope your flatmate eats all the Toblerone.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)

oh look, a woman is stroppy
it can't be her demanding job putting her under stress or anything else, it must be her silly little hormones.

it's people like you, jeff, who would have denied women the vote. ISN'T IT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

WHAT?
You mean women CAN vote?

Regards,

Outraged of Bristol.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:55, Reply)

oh yeah
not in bristol, probably. i mean, when it's five to six in london, it's still 1921 in bristol, right?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Yeah. Because Bristol is way ahead of London in all respects.
When London gets to five-to-six, it'd already twenty past seven for the cool-kids in the West.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:00, Reply)

extra! extra!! read all about it!!!
jeff in MISSING THE POINT shocker...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:03, Reply)

extra! extra!
Jeff doesn't care!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:07, Reply)

yes he does

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:08, Reply)

No I don't.
Look at me. LOOK AT ME.

Do I look concerned? Nope.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:12, Reply)

you're still replying
therefore you care
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)

No I don't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:16, Reply)

And?
I happen to LIKE shrimps and bananas.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)

what, mashed up together?
well, fuck off back to /talk then!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Shush it Autism.
They're good ingredients in a fucking LOVELY stir-fry.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

now hang on just one minute you fiendish talk troll, you
i have NEVER claimed to be an autism. if anything, i am too far the opposite way, with my lovely generous friendly open nature, and have even in some cruel circles been called a slut. ONLINE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Meh, as far as I'm concerned you're ALL autisms here on /talk for crybabies.
With the odd exeption of the good people who come here to help you like Gonzy and The LOVELY Chompy of course.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:04, Reply)

you're right. they are odd exceptions. very odd, in fact.
[sorry gonz, i didn't mean it]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:07, Reply)

Are, are you BULLYING The LOVELY Chompy and The LOVELY 90Nz0?
You UTTER WRONGSTER.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)

no
i just think you need to spend some time looking up the definitions of the word "lovely", is all. here's a starter:

per·vert·ed (pr-vûrtd)
adj.
1. Deviating from what is considered right and correct: a perverted idea of justice.
2. Of, relating to, or practicing sexual perversion.
3. Marked by misinterpretation or distortion: a perverted translation of an epic poem.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:39, Reply)

Hey, at least they're not Furries. Or Ginges*
*_{as far as I'm aware.}
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:47, Reply)

And surely there's nothing REALLY perverted in Gonzy's love for Will Smith and Hollyoaks and Chinese Food and Hand-holding.
Or Chompy's for rape.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:51, Reply)

you see
even with the most mild of examples, you have only managed to highlight my point. i am glad we have found something on which we can agree.

now you just need to send me a cockgaz and you're truly one of us, mm-kay?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:55, Reply)

Don't I have to pretend to be a doctor first?
Also I don't own any pink socks.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 19:02, Reply)

nah
i am not that fussy. just show me your banana.

or your shrimp. whichever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)

WAAAAHHHHHH!!!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:13, Reply)

What the hell have YOU got to cry about?
Sheesh.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Hey, don't question
it's what we do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Fair enough then.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Jan 2011, 19:03, Reply)

Menstruation! What's that all about.
And don't give me all that shit about Eve. I don't believe that for one moment.
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Have a nice nap this afternoon Blousie?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

I did thank you.
Feeling quite chirpy now. Ready for what Sunday evening throws at me.
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

*Throws something at Blousie*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

*ducks*

( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:42, Reply)

*Tickles*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:44, Reply)

*whacks on head with newspaper*
I hate being tickled.
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:47, Reply)

What newspaper is it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

The Observer......still with the supplements in.

( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

*OWW!*
Can't you just buy a cheap red-top next time?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:56, Reply)

*Gooses*

( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:45, Reply)

And non of that business either.

( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Why?
Its fun. Come hither, Blousie. *Honk*
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Fundamental design flaw.
There must be a cleaner, easier way for childbirth. Eggs! hard external duck egg variety, but bigger, maybe with a viewing port.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)

this sounds like a perfect answer
plus if the eggs aren't fertilised - tasty breakfast treat!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Plus if you look in and see an ugly baby you can switch it with a mates.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:43, Reply)

all babies are ugly though
especially when they are still in blob form
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:49, Reply)

true, and my nephew who is 10 days old looks like gollum

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

My nephew is 10 YEARS old and still looks like gollum.
Nephewlols!
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:59, Reply)

Ha! ugly family member lol

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Hey mrs lady
I haven't forgotten about you - I had to wait till yesterday to get a disc big enough to fit that program onto. I've got it burned now, and I'll stick in the post tomorrow.

How's you? Or should I say, que tal?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Ooo! thanks hon!
I'm looking forward to starting it.
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I have started it
Its pretty good.
Already learnt how to say "the girl is eating", but it goes no further yet. When does it get to the smutty stuff?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I'd ask him why does the whole right side of my body absolutely kill every time I smoke.
And why he's made my weekends so boring that all I have to do to pass the time is, er, smoke. It's a vicious cycle.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I think the real question is
why do you keep smoking when that shit happens? I'd go with asking the doctor if I were you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Boredom mostly.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:05, Reply)

take up crochet instead
it hurts less and you might end up with a new jumper
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Why is my can opener broken?
What the hell am I going to have for tea, now?

edit: and why the hell has an 18 YEAR OLD just messaged me on a dating site??!!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:45, Reply)

Maybe he has heard you've got a microwave?
What did you prepare in your microwave yesterday?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

tesco sweet and sour chicken
then this morning I heated some milk

it was like witchcraft
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:52, Reply)

when we first got one, back when i was about 6
my mum was trying to melt chocolate to make easter nests for her school. she put the chocolate in for a couple of mins. nothing. repeated. nothing. repeated. nothing.

eventually she poked it with a spoon, only to find out it had totally melted, but had just kept its square shape. just thought i'd mention it, cos, you know. well ok. that's 2 mins of your life you're never getting back.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:06, Reply)

it's always good to acquire knowledge
the lesson I have learnt: poke stuff with spoons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

good advice for life in general

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Also
Be very careful when it comes to heating coffee or tea. Because of the way a microwave heats substances, it's possible that liquids can be over boiling temperature without actually boiling. The sudden movement of the cup holding them or the action of adding sugar can cause sudden, voilent boiling which can cause bad burns.

It's not very likely, but it has been known to happen, particularly if the rotating bit of the microwave is broken.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)

OK
so don't poke *some* things with spoons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Best. Anecdote. Ever.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

i just like any excuse to talk about my mother
because she's dead, and it feels like i am keeping her memory alive a bit more.

do you have some kind of problem with that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Absolutely none whatsoever.
Apologies.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)

Can I be superman please?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:53, Reply)

No.

( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:57, Reply)

who made you God?
If I want to be a Kryptonian demi god he can give me the power!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:06, Reply)

No one wants to see your underpants.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 17:59, Reply)

to be fair to bobby
there is something of the pot and kettle about this particular post...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:04, Reply)

I love you, you horribly rich racist
and on that note I'm off out for some movie and dooby action.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:07, Reply)

wow
that's a left-handed compliment if ever i heard one
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:13, Reply)

left-handerist!
(sinisterist?)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)

To be fair to me.
I'm not suggesting I sport my undies outside my jeans.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:10, Reply)

Tights you mong, he doesn't wear jeans as SM!!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

And I don't wear tights.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Why, why, why, why, why
Piers Morgan.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

why, why
Piers Morgan.

Delilah
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)

h +Smith
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)

why my new bushings squeak so much.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Do you like breasts?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 19:08, Reply)