your ex is being a moron
kids bump themselves all the time. it's how they learn. she won't do it again.

i think my dad might have turned gay in his old age. he has just swopped his lovely bentley for an audi TT. a white one. all the arguments about depreciation and how much insurance/service etc the bentley was costing all went over my head. all i can think is, a white sports car is going to look pretty damn feminine.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:32, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Does he have an interest in hairdressing?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Ah but she got up in the night and he didn't know.
She could have gone the offy or anything.
And then there's the MDs he occasionally finds in bags behind cupboards when he's having a clean out.
My great grandma got out of the house as a child, and the female copper from next door 'found her' 'sleepwalking' so put her in bed with her so as not to wake the family.
I have never liked the scent of that tale.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

it does sound a bit fishy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

*bawks*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

It's male HRT treatment.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Bit late for a mid life crisis innit?

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I don't think Swipe is that old Blousie.
*Waves*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:38, Reply)

*waves*
I'm talking about her dad.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:39, Reply)

How are you today?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Feeling good apart from an annoying cough.
My youngest sis is over in a couple of weeks for her 21st birthday and I'm wracking my brain tying to think of what we can do to celebrate. Her mate in Tenerife couldn't get the time off to come over which has upset her a bit.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Why not go to the pub?
Pubs are nice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

It's her 21st so I want it to be special.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Spa break?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:49, Reply)

That's a good idea.
My mum would enjoy doing that with her. It's up to my dad really as he would be paying.

I think she wanted a big night out as well. I doubt going out with her two old sisters would be the same.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:52, Reply)

do you think he'll go for it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Probably. He was going to pay for her mate to fly over.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Why not investigate some spa breaks then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I'll discuss it with my sis.
She might not want to go on one. She's only got a few days over here.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Is she doesn't wan to go one a Spa break.
Suggest a Netto or Aldi one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

In Monty's absence
it falls to me to ask you to leave the internet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Yay!
*Stays*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

A bentley is a bit OTT in these austere times
At least it aint tedious silver, and a sight more practical as a runabout car. He'll look less conspicuous down Aldi later on.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:40, Reply)

my last slk was silver
when i got this one, i had to do the deal before the end of that month to get the low interest rate. there were 10 available in the uk at the time, and 9 of them were silver.

i got the black one!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Curses, I'm stuck with bland 'Iridium Silver'
I suppose it reflects how boring I am 8(
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:50, Reply)

that's what my old one was
it's nice but every second car is silver.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

for some reason I thought your car was red

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Woo black cars FTW!
Shame I'll never ever have a 'nice' car.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Never say never Labs.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

True
But I can think of countless things I'd rather spend the money on.
House, holidays, new laptop, tattoos, happyfuntiemz with friends etc.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

see, I'd rather spend the money on a nice car than on a holiday
which is why I have trouble going on holidays.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Nah. White's the new "cool" colour for sports cars
But the colour is the least of his problems, what with the TT being the clitoris of the car world.

If he was swapping a bentley he should have got an R8
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Depends which TT
The first type is definitely a hairdresser car, the updated second/newer one is a bit cooler.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

that's not what the insult above refers to
I agree the second gen is much nicer and cooler, but the "clitoris" thing refers to the fact that "every cunt's got one"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Ahhh, fair enough!
I'm slow this morning, forgive me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:49, Reply)

the main reason for swopping it is that he hasn't driven it in a couple of months
because he actually prefers his q5. this has made him fall in love with audi.

the r8 is an orgasm on wheels. only the merc maclaren version is better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

he's got a Q5....
there is no hope for him.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:50, Reply)

That's a nice motor, far better than the x3

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:51, Reply)

the X3 really is a piece of shit
the X5 is not much better

I quite like the idea of getting an X6, raising it and putting on enormous off-road tyres. I think that would look the business.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I don't mind the x5, the x6 seems pointless, the x1 an abomination
Your proposal might end up on the pricey side
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:55, Reply)

the X6 is pointless
but I quite like that look of it. I think I am the only one.

it may end up pricey, particular is I would then feel obliged to take it to the desert and thrash the shit out of it, and probably break it very quickly.

it is a good job that it is completely pie in the sky.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:56, Reply)

That looks like a hoot, especially in those specced up Tourags

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

of all the similar 4x4s
I'd probably have a Toerag as it looks nicest.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:03, Reply)

This, with added "that"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

i thought that when he got it
he swopped my mother's old a3 and i was really fed up because i loved nipping around in that if i left mine in london. but the q5 is absolutely amazing to drive, it's like a big nippy armchair!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

The Q5 looks like a raped whale, though.
Agree about the R8. McMerc don't make a version of it, though. You mean the McMerc SLR, or the SLS?

I'd get an Audi, they are good, but a) they've become wankers cars and b) I want a 4x4 and I can't afford the £5k every time a transfer box fails in the wanky quattro system. So back to Land Rover I think.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I'd rather have a Range Rover Sport than a Q5
but I'm not a big enough cunt to have either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:51, Reply)

You'd have to be a pretty huge cunt to have an RRS.
I'm tempted to wait a few months and get a RR Evoque but I think I'll just buy a second-hand Freelander and keep some money for when inflation and interest rate rises cunt the fuck out of my cost of living over the next year.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I'm just hoping that my battered Seat Toledo lasts to the end of the year
before major shit goes wrong with it. It has a habit of juddering when you pull away at the moment, mostly just first thing in the morning.

I'm hoping it's not the clutch because it had a new one not all that long ago, and I can't afford something that pricey. Also it had new brake pads recently and they are squeaking like a motherfucker. Fucking horrible.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:00, Reply)

My Dad's Seat Toledo does that juddering thing too
Has been for a few years though, so hopefully you'll be alright.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:05, Reply)

that's at least slightly reassuring
my bro's mate is a mechanic who does the work on it for us, so he should be taking a look soon. With a bit of luck it will be something cheap and easy to fix.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

R8's, Q5's?
What recession?

It's a capitalist paradise.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 10:54, Reply)