I often feel like fate is stopping me becoming the goddess I deserve to be.
Got any tips?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:20, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I hear it's all about the way you shave your legs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Are you saying I should throw away my eleven-blade Gillette Powerzing! and get my Venus on?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

you want to feel like a goddess?
then do it. Do it in a fountain with lots of other goddess wannabes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

*giggles*

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

get the vibrating waterproof one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Man, I feel like a woman!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I got bored and cut stripes in my chest hair the other day.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

really?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Yep, it'll grow out.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I once drunkenly decided it'd be fun to try one of my mate's wax strips.
Woke up the next morning with a perfectly bare strip of skin on my chest.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Unleash the Kraken.
Or as we call it, libido.
( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I saw my first flower shoots of the spring a few days ago.
My libido is well on its way to being unleashed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

; )

( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Yep yep yep
this sounds like a euphemism, but I've got daffodils coming up in my garden. I'm bored of winter, I want it to be spring now.
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

It's now light enough around 5pm for me to get home after work and go out for my 5-mile circuit walk before it gets dark.
Bring on the miles!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

It's now light enough in the mornings
for me to be able to drag myself out of bed before 8:30. I've even been on time for work in the last week or so.

Yours was more impressive, I must say...
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I was amazed to see it getting pretty light at 7am, this means my walk to work will be punctuated by singing birds.
I've not been a slave to the alarm clock for a whole ten days. This morning's 5.10am wakeup was a bit of a bitch.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Did Poppet get away OK?

( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Yup, pretty smoothly I think.
She's still got almost 24 hours until she gets home, I don't envy her. I've almost sloped off to bed three times since I got in.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I think she meant
did Poppet escape the manacles?

you deviant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Surprisingly bitey, these Aussies.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

5.10am
5.10am. Jeeeeeeeeesus. I'm sure we've had this discussion before but that's the night time!
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Well yeah, it is.
That was to get to Heathrow for Poppet's check-in for her flight. Tomorrow morning I get to lie-in to 5.50am.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

That's not really a vast improvement.
Sorry.
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I'm working on getting out of this job, I can't do another winter of dark walks to work.
Trouble is, it's great in the summer as finishing at three means I've got almost seven hours of daylight left after work. It's utter shit in the winter though. Well, it's utter shit all the time...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

... "the pit of hades"
I'd gathered you don't like it much. What is it exactly that you do?
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

He's a taxi firm's bitch.

( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Exactly this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Doesn't sound desperately fulfilling, it's true
but it's infinitely preferable to do a shit job for a wage than to sit on your arse and do nothing.
Probably belongs in the thread up, but what would you be doing instead, if you could?
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Oops, got distracted.
Probably walling/fencing/hedging/boundary maintenance but that's a few courses and a good deal of investment away yet. I did think about starting a sandwich/lunch van for the town, I don't think there is one and I reckon there's a market for it. I fucking love sandwiches. Edit: other thread.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

"And here, in the heart of the Bucks countryside, we find the roosting site of a Noel.
Come spring, and the melting of the winter frost, various signals indicate that the Noel is entering its mating season. We can see how this specimen is shedding his winter coat, but preparing himself to search for a mate. The Noel is a solitary creature, known to roam in seemingly aimless fashion across the hills and dales surrounding his habitat in search of a female, whom he may attempt to club over the head with a spare walking boot, or if locality permits, trap beneath a concrete cow, before dragging her back to his roost.

His catch rendered unconscious, the Noel checks his surroundings before shouldering the female. He must remain alert for another lone scavenger which will also be drawn to the female's scent: the Chompy."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I LIKE THIS!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

hahaha!
Read that in David Attenborough's voice.
( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

It's the "And here..." at the start

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

"Shouldering"?
Mate, that's not how it's done. No wonder you turned to the dark side.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

And I always thought I had such sexy shoulders...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Oh God! man shoulders.
One of the best bits of a guy. It's funny what were hardwired to admire in the opposite sex.
( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

yeah
mmm sexy man-backs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

As long as they're not hairy
hairy shoulders and back are all kinds of wrong.
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

that is true
I hate having them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Hairy chests are great, don't get me wrong
but hairy shoulders/back... *shudders*
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I know
I feel the same. My mrs doesn't mind fortunately, and I don't mind having a hairy chest, but the back is just horrible.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

It's amazing what you start to like when you meet someone special.
Never say never is my motto.
( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

good motto
my mrs probably would have said no beards when asked when we got together.

Fortunately, she is very much my type :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I'm glad I don't!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Isn't shaving with that Venus razor supposed to turn you into a goddess or something?
Failing that, start taking the pill and you may well find yourself growing tits.

EDIT stupid work people delaying my reply and turning me from witty and original into derivative and shite.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I like breasts.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

According to the Metro this morning, moob removal surgery is on the rise.
BAAPS said so.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Hahaha what a great name for something related to tits.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

HA I win

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)