Puerile and Inane Thread Pertaining to the Behaviour of Bear Grylls
I was talking to my sister yesterday afternoon and, in that way that conversations are wont to do, we got onto the subject of Bear Grylls and his tendency to eat faeces whilst out in the wild. One week he's picking undigested fruit out of a bear's droppings, another week he's concocting an infusion or soup or similar potage from camel dung. Naturally he grimaces each time and insists that one would only do this when food is truly scarce and one is desperately hungry, but, given the regularity with which he does it, we began to wonder whether he secretly enjoys it.

I was reminded of that conversation this morning, as on my way into work I walk past a building which I think is the national Scouts' headquarters or something. They are endorsed by the aforementioned Mr Grylls, and as such there is an enormous poster of the man on one wall. As I walked past it this morning, all I could think was,
"He eats poo."

Discuss.

Alt: For those who are feeling particularly inane, come up with some embarrassingly childish jokes about Bear Grylls' coprophagy, or write me a little scene in which his outlandish behaviour causes embarrassment in polite company.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:05, 18 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bear Grylls is a fucking twat
and Ray Mears would shit all over him in a real survival situation.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

This
he's surprisingly chubby for someone who spends so much time in the wilderness. Clearly the only answer can be that he spends so much time out there because that's where he takes the bodies of his rivals and eats them.
(berk, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

It just shows how well he can look after himself
but the best episode was when he wrestled those mongolian chaps and broke three ribs without realising and still won the match.

FUCK YOU GRYLLS! I'd like to see him wrestle a mongolian.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I like Bruce Parry

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Bruce Parry LOVES MD's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I'd like to see him wrestle a mong.
*calls Channel Five*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Then Grylls would eat it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Hey Crow, Crow!... CROW!!!!
no one cares.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Anybody who sticks his face into a bee's nest for my amusement is OK by me.
Although, I do agree that I'd much rather have the quietly competent Ray Mears with me in a survival situation than that flashy, fly-by-night Grylls chap.

Bear would get right on my tits after a while and he has a big nose.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Bear Grylls looks like my next door neighbour

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Is that really his name?
And he eats bear poo?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

He also shits in the woods.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I don't actually know whether he was christened 'Bear'
But he does seem to enjoy the odd bit of bear poo now and again.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Gillian McKeith
is at the very least an ardent coprophile. She's obsessed with the faecal improvements of those poor fat sods she forces to live on mung beans and miso soup in her ridiculous programme.
The woman is in desperate need of Freudian psychoanalysis. I bet she sprinkles her own night soil with icing sugar and wolfs it down then throws it up into a carrier bag, sobbing with guilt all the while. Disgusting, coprophagic bulimic bint. I'm ashamed to say my wife has her detox recipe book.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Now there's a terrifying mental picture I didn't need...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Sorry
It's just she does my head in. Bear is a twat but I don't think he's as base, corrupted and deviant as neurotic Gill and her wonderful world of poos. I like Bruce Parry though. He always mucks in and seems an authentic sort.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I've found the easiest way to dismiss that witches diet.
She's the same age as Nigella Lawson, and look at her. What does that say for detoxing?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Quite.
She looks like an emaciated, octogenarian sparrow.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)