If you're on Facebook
then you're a massive tosser who desperately clings to nebulous ideas of 'popularity' and has pathetic delusions about how interesting other people find your tedious existence. You are boring. Your made-up 'friends' are boring. No-one cares - an 'update' about how you are feeling today is not even of interest to your own mother. Stop it.

HOLIDAYS. Who already has one booked or planned? Where are you going?

Christ now I know what it's like to be a fucking hairdresser.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:26, 55 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How fortuitous, for I have this very morning booked flights for me and my nephew to Tenerife.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Is JeffThe DogFucker your nephew?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Tenerife, she said, not Korea/Battersea/Walthamstow Dog Track etc

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I don't think Jeff has been chipped, so he can't go abroad.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

It would break my heart to leave him in the hold anyway.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)

It would be funny though
So worth trying.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I like this.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Trying too hard
Clearly you now desperately want to be on Facebook with all the cool kids but you've painted yourself into a corner with previous vituperative rhetoric and now you're just lashing out.

There's no shame in admitting you were wrong - in fact, it would be the big thing to do.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Hogwash.
I know my life is boring, and have no desire to inflict its minutiae upon people I actually like. That's why I come on here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Cape Town, at Easter
and then on safari, can't wait :)
(DeeDee, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

UR Christopher Biggins AIMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I would hate to have you as a hairdresser
For the same reason I wouldn't have a tattoo from someone with shit tattoos.
At the end of the month I'll be booking my flights to Japan. Two weeks, staying in hostels to keep the costs down, so more can be spent on drinking and sight-seeing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I really, really want to go to Japan.
My uncle's married a nip so I have places to stay etc over there but entirely lack the funds to go. I've been obsessed with Japan since the late 70s. Their culture is one of the most fascinating on earth, to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Same to me, though I wasn't alive in the late 70s
Always wanted to go, so a friend and I have decided this year to save up what we can and go. Flights are looking to cost £650, hence trying to keep costs down elsewhere.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I understand food & drink etc cost rather a lot when you are there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I'll third this
Japan is very high on my must-visit list of places. The culture and history is fascinating
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Where do you stand on Japanses gangster tattoos?
Brilliant, but for Japanese gangsters only and a bit sad on a Westerner? I think that's my stance, it'd be like me getting a load of LA Latino gang tattoos and then going to my mother's for Pimm's and scones.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Gangster tattoos are only 'cool' on the appropriate gangster
That said, Japanese body suits are fucking amazing, and whilst tattoos in Japanese culture are often symbols of the Yakuza, there are very few (if any) specific Yakuza tattoos, whereas LA gang and Russian Prison tattoos are extensive and meaningful. By that I mean Japanese style tattoos aren't necessarily 'gangster', plus nowadays a fair few Japanese artists are seeing an increase in demand for American style hot-rod culture tattoos.

It's a shame that Japanese culture associates ALL tattoos with the Yakuza, it means I won't be able to visit traditional bath houses.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

On Louis Theroux's investigation into US white power chaps
I saw a fucking beautiful full back neo-Nazi tattoo - all jesting aside it was the best tattoo I've ever seen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Best for artistic talent, or best for imagery?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Both. The design was excellent and executed superbly.
It just looked brilliant. It was just 'black and white' or whatever the term is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Black and grey
If I earned Swipey levels of money I'd definitely be covered in amazing tattoos by now, I'd have no problems dropping a grand on a chest piece or sleeve.
Sadly I have to save hard to get that amount of disposable income.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

The Japanese gangster tattoos are decorative, whereas the La latino tattoos aren't, if memory serves me correct.
And only a few people would be able to point out the tattoos as Japanese gangster so I don't really see a problem.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I totally agree. and would love to go myself.
To be honest they scare the buggery out of me.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)

The fact that they're the only country to have been nuked
has really fucked them up. It informs so much of their culture.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

They were a strange bunch before they got nuked.
But yes, it can't have helped.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Look at all the manga and things like Godzilla:
so much obsession with genetic mutations and nature rebelling against man's environmental interference.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Everybody looking the same must be fucking hard work.
Racistlolz!
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Hahah AND THEY'RE YELLOW AND HAVE SLITTY EYES!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Well I wouldn't go that far Monty.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

/Prince Phillip Blog

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Now they've all got three arms
as well as a predilection for cruelty.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)

It's the schoolgirl panties vending machines, isn't it

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

No longer there, apparently.
I've missed my chance.

They do have beer vending machines in the streets though, I am told. Very civilised.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

no holiday for me
I'm too poor. Even my weekend away has vanished, thanks to losing a piece of paper and thus having to pay college an extra 250 pounds. And another 130 pounds for a ball ticket
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)

£130 for fucking ball!
Are you eating diamonds with platinum cutlery?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

looking at the site
It's gone up to 160 now because I haven't paid early enough :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Don't go, and spend the money you've saved on drugs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Fuck that shit
there is no way they can lay on an evening for a massive bunch of students that could possibly be worth £160.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)

they usually have a big headliner
And it's the best in Oxford
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)

A big headliner?
I paid £160 for my sonisphere ticket. Unless they are putting on a three day festival of top class bands there is no way you can ever consider £160 for one evening reasonable value for money.

Back when I was at Uni, our freshers ball had "Bjorn Again" playing and cost about £20. Our leavers ball was held at Old Trafford and cost about £30 which included dinner.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

They've probably got James pissing Blunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I heard his mum will be the support act
telling everyone to lay off him.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Not being Australian, I never went to'uni'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Australian intelligent enough
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Yes but a hell of a lot more people went to Sonisphere than are going to the ball.
But I agree it does seem a little steep.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

It's a night with your friends
Eating fantastic food, drinking as much alcohol as is possible, staying up to six to catch the dawn, doing the hot air balloon etc, while wearing white tie. Worth it in your last year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

We had that every year
it was called the Club Tropicana all nighter, but we go to wear Hawaiian shirts and it only cost £30.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

And you got fingered
I don't think they do that in Oxford, they take themselves too seriously.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I got to finger a girl after the last one
but the first two I had to go home alone.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Clearly you learnt from the first two
and got the rohypnol into her early.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

What piece of paper did you lose?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

i got a vacation grant
To cover the cost of staying for part of Christmas. However to claim the money back you need this piece of paper that I have lost
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Oh god no :(
Can you not get another copy? They must have it on file somewhere...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

sadly no
They're being uncooperative as anything
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)