I'm going to the pub to make things awkward between my mate and the girl he likes.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:21, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good work.
I'd mention the bran-flake story a few times as well if I were you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:23, Reply)

wink at them both

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:31, Reply)

while sitting between them
rubbing both their knees suggestively
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:32, Reply)

When she gets up to go to the lav
lean over to him while she's close enough to hear and say "So can I have a go on her tonight, like you promised?"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Tell this girl that your mate is your shoplifting inspiration
And that without him, you'd never have thought about lifting food from the supermarket.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:44, Reply)

I don't know her well enough to reveal that part of me yet.
It's all a bit complicated between them, she told him she liked him and he likes her - then a few nights ago she shagged someone else and he went mental. This is the greatest 'poke the bear' opportunity I've ever been presented with.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Keep dropping hints
about how fucking easy she is.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:53, Reply)

Say to her
'I've not bought a new jacket over the last few days, have you fucked anyone in the last few days?'

That way, if she doesn't laugh at your joke, you can back track a bit and talk about your collection of coats.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 18:57, Reply)

oh whoops
still, if it were him that did that it wouldn't be an issue would it?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:05, Reply)

Of course not
It's a man's prerogative to put his penis in whoever he likes.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:08, Reply)

Sometimes I wish I were a man.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:25, Reply)

It is fucking awesome.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:29, Reply)

Yeah but I can walk around all day horny as fuck and no one will notice.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:40, Reply)

I know it would certainly ruin his chances with her, so he was never going to do owt with anyone else.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

admirable
I came off the wrong way, didn't mean your friend, I meant some men in general
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 19:24, Reply)