I have had a fucking brilliant day with my Keith Moon in waiting

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:21, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Happy kid!
Nice work. Get her some egg shakers and a tambourine next.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:30, Reply)

She's got drums,
harmonica, recorder, keyboard, a little guitar, maraccas, tambourine...

Knowing my luck she'll probably end up being an accountant. Mind you I could use a financial advisor.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Or a one-woman band.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:55, Reply)

This chap is my hero.
I see him all the time.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs3ou7a_vPA
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Minus the life expectancy bit, hopefully...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:36, Reply)

I've already got her on the 'uppers and downers'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:41, Reply)

You decided against Oxfording tonight, then?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:43, Reply)

My best friends the National Westminster Bank
made my decision for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Probably sensible.
I just consulted my bank balance earlier... fuck. I didn't anticipate spending so much at the gig on Thursday night.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Would you mind awfully if we change the subject please?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:49, Reply)

Not at all.
So yeah, they're making a new series of Red Dwarf, I hear...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Why would you anger it?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Shits and giggles, mostly.
Also, Monty knows I don't really mean it.

I think.

Thank you for what you did for the missus btw.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:57, Reply)

It's a pleasure, hope it raised a smile.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)

It did.
And a tear.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:44, Reply)

I know, I wrote the script.
An exclusive preview:

'Smegging smeg off you smegger'

*smokes crack, does rape*

'Smeg'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:57, Reply)

*Something about "you smeg head"

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:58, Reply)

'I've done another smegging coke-rape.
What the smeg am I going to do?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Get a job on Coronation Street playing a northerner what's a darkie, innit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Or
return to the 'brilliant' 'street poetry' that he was first on television doing on Saturday Live in the 80s with Ben 'integrity' Elton...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:03, Reply)

Everyone: 'LOL'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Apart from in series 7 when they didn't record it in front of a live audience.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:03, Reply)

...because
the BBC feared for the safety of any female audience members.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:04, Reply)

His smeg is probably worth £75 a gram.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Ironically, his fridge is worth fuck all.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:06, Reply)