Oh Monty!
Everyone knows Stens are prone to jamming. I'd go with a Chicago Piano.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

But they look fucking cool
and let's face it, it isn't my life that's at risk from faulty hardware here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:47, Reply)

They do look cool until you have to pull the trigger.
One bang, and then there is the embarassing silence.

My old man had one in the war, he was ordered not to point it at anyone, even if they were German.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:55, Reply)

They worked alright in the films.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Yeah but in Good Morning Vietnam it looked like Robin Williams might be a talented comic actor
You can't believe everything Hollywood tells you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I like that film!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Then you, sir, are a fucking cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

That's hardly a surprise, you facking cant!
/Clive
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I have two problems with that film.
1) it came amongst a swathe of vastly superior 'Nam-based films and even watched in isolation desecrates them by association

2) Williams is fairly good in it, which confuses me. Given the horror he inflicted over the next twenty years, to see him be entertaining and not completely punchable is like enjoying a day trip to Peterborough
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:10, Reply)

My favourite 'Nam film is Full Metal Jacket, followed by Platoon
I frankly don't rate Apocalypse Now highly, as I found it very dull. However, it's been a long time since I watched it, so may well watch it again someday.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I would agree with your order
but I really like Apocalypse Now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Ditto
Full agreement with Vipros returns not a sense of nagging unease
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Apocalypse Now
loses it toward the end a bit.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

yeah, it is pretty weird

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)

No it bloody doesn't
The horrors of war, the slow decent in to madness, the disconnection from the real world. It's ace.
( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Bit like your knob.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I watched the Apocalypse Now redux again the other day
It's really good. Nam films are so much better than these modern war films like Jarhead, which was, and lets be totally fair here, a load of fucking shit.
( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

The problem with films about Afghanistan and Iraq as opposed to Vietnam
Is that by the time Apocalypse Now, and certainly Platoon, were made America had come round to the idea that the whole war was a tremendous fuck-up on their part. Films like Jarhead, Redacted, In The Valley Of Elah and their ilk have more of a muddied message because an awful lot of Americans, including the idiots holding the chquebooks at studios, still think involvement in the Middle East is a good idea.

And yes I know Jarhead is about the early 90's Gulf War but the parallels are the only reason it got made.

And yes, it was shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

It's not really a war film
but Buffalo Soldiers is ace. Sergeant Bilko with smack!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Get out of my head!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

It was shit because nothing fucking happened.
I could write a fucking book about not doing anything but I doubt it would get made into a film.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

That was my main problem with it
If they had just let him blow the guys head off it would have helped.
( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

head off


You big bender.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

What can I say? I love the cock.

( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)

This is an unusual beast
A strikethrough-proof post
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Just trying to do my part

( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

It's not 'modern', but more modern than Nam
But I liked Buffalo Soldiers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Bob Marley is shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

You really lower the tone round here.
Robin williams last did a decent day's work in Mork and Mindy.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Hahaha
Very good, sir.

Fuck me, are you SERIOUS?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

No.
I meant Happy Days.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)

nanoo nanoo

( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Robin Williams is second only to Woody 'nonce' Allen
in my list of Hollywood actors whose lives I would dearly love to end with my bare hands. I loathe that spastic with every fibre of my being. He is the master of misdirection - from the school of 'if I do a load of stupid voices and gurn perhaps nobody will twig that I am an unfunny cunt'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Does Russell Brand not count in that list yet?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

His 'Hollywood career' is still questionable.
If he is still employed there in a year then he's on the list for sure. His hideous estuary accent is like fingers down a blackboard* to me.


*younger readers may have to Google blackboards
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

RACIST

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Sorry, 'coloured boards'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I absolutely could not agree with this more
Except for hating Williams significantly more than Allen, who I also have no time for. Throw in the Brand-hate below and I find myself in absolute accord with Monty.

*feels chill wind blow from the East*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)

thank fucking god
I fucking hate Woody Allen. "Being Jewish" is not of itself funny. See also: Mel Brooks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Blazing Saddles is fucking EXCELLENT though.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I think it is shit
Space Balls and Robin Hood - Men in Tights are bearable except for the bits with Brooks himself in, which are fucking dreadful.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I think you're mistaken there, definitely
As Space Balls is shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Robin Hood: Men In Tights is atrocious
The kind of autopilot spoofery anyone could churn out. The Zucker brothers must have been appalled that their genre sunk so low.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

'In this film
Woody plays a neurotic New York Jewish man who has relationship issues'.

Wow, such versatility.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

*shakes hand*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I love Robbin WIliams, at one point I had all his serious-role DVDs.
Patch Adams, What Dreams May Come, Bicentinal Man, those ones where he plays the part of a phsyciatrist... he's ace.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Dead Poets' Society is officially the Gayest Film of All Time.
Paul Ross, News of the World
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

What's the one where he makes money out of his kid dying whilst wanking?
That was shit too.
( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Good Will Hunting is a great film

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Fuck just as I thought I hated all robin williams films including Hook
you point that one out. I too liked it.
( Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I almost agree
Just one tiny amendment

great fucking shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I almost bought a bren gun at an auction once
Unfortunately I was there representing someone else and they might have been cross if I'd mis-spent their money.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Still, the bren would have lasted longer than the ear-bashing.
I say you made a mistake. I'd give a finger or toe for a Schmeisser, no problem.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

It was valued at £100 - which seemed like a bargin to me
It coincidentally was exactly the amount of money i had been given to try and falsify the results of bargin hunt that was filming that day.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

My brother saw an SS sword in Cardiff for £400 (it was bit knackered and this was years ago)
His then girlfriend said if he bought it she'd leave him. Bloody over-sensitive Jews, I ask you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

hahaha
POTDSF
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)

The best I can manage is a deaths head badge for a cap
Ten a penny no doubt
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I am most fortunate in that my family has shitloads of military heirlooms.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I've got a load of crap from WW1 and WW2, best being a heer mahoosive eagle swastika thingy
I've also got a display of various British regimental insignia which has been valued quite high by a chap from the V&A, it looks a bit crap to be honest but who am I to argue.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Excellent.
I know a chap who has a WWII Nazi naval flag as a bedspread. This has caused him some problems in the 'casual sex' department, I am told.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Matching Adolf and Heinrich pillow cases can become somewhat distracting during the deed

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

The urge to salute and sing the Horst Wessel Lied
can be quite overpowering.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:44, Reply)