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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well this is a whole new kind of tired
One of our pet rats was in a bad way last night so I was sat up half the night nursing him and trying to get him to eat sunflower seeds. Now I'm sat at work with three cans of Relentless, trying to compile a spreadsheet of problems our idiotic customers have with our ordering process so as to avert having to go to Birmingham and Hove to do in-house training.
My life is just fucking THRILLING.
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to take my mind off my pet's ill health by conjuring a scenario in which going to Birmingham can possibly be a good thing. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
Alternatively, tell me a funny story involves animals. Maiming preferable.
BANG
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:18,
178 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Berk is based in the Birmingham area
on the other hand, so am I and Lab isn't too far away.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:22,
Reply)
I Like This
Take three points
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:24,
Reply)
Surely that should be Brighton and Hove.
You would like it down there.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:34,
Reply)
it's pretty. I liked it.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:35,
Reply)
Believe it or not I have an excellent reason to avoid Brighton
A girl-based reason, at that. I know!
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:36,
Reply)
It is not the gay aspect of Brighton that put's it on my don't bother to visit list.
It is the awful meejaa types who frequent the place.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:41,
Reply)
I'm not opposed to any part of the city, having never been there
But one of its residents could land me in some incredibly deep shit if I were seen in her company
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:43,
Reply)
Anne Robinson?
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:45,
Reply)
Nah, she loved me
Said I was funny. I'd make it my business to get on with her anyway, she's fucking loaded, innit
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:49,
Reply)
I wasn't aware that you were a major target for the Paparazzi
Give us a shout for your next Heat appearance
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:50,
Reply)
One day it'll happen
and then you'll feel FUCKING SILLY
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:53,
Reply)
I hate to break this to you but your only avenue for z list celebrity status is to be papped being bummed by George Michael on Hampstead Heath
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:56,
Reply)
Didn't work last time
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
nUS ov dE WUrlD is your friend here
Hit up the celeb desk "George managed to fill my gaping arsehole with his hot love juices"
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:02,
Reply)
I'm not sure George Michael bumming someone is news any more
To get noticed I need to out someone. Who's famous and supposedly straight?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:05,
Reply)
Prince William
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:14,
Reply)
Then we won't get our day off in April
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
It would make many a persons day
Front page of NOTW Prince William with a shit eating grin, literally eating your shit
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
Good point. I'll take one for the team
However, someone will need to console poor Kate Middleton. Are you up to the task?
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:35,
Reply)
Like a tramp on chips
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
I knew I could count on you
In no time we'll both be all over the tabloids. We should systematically take down various annoying celebrity couples in this manner. Next time you have to do the scat/bumming and I get to mop up the quality fanny, though
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:45,
Reply)
She's going to beat you up?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
From what I hear, Birmingham do some cracking curries?
Beyond that, I have nothing, as I've never spent more than half an hour at a time in Birmingham.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:35,
Reply)
My younger brother was car-jacked in Birmingham
I have no other experience of the city.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:38,
Reply)
It once took me and my Dad an hour to chase a stray dog out of our house (in cyprus), it kept on coming under the gate.
It was a big furry dog, like a St Bernard, but a mongral of some kind.
The more I laughed, the fustrated Dad got and the more he schemed, and the happier the dog seemed. He got cardboard to chase it around the garden, told me to stand and shout the moment it ran past me (telling me to stand in a stratigic possition), waiting until the right moment to start running. Every time it would look at us quizicly and run past. Eventually a water hose got it to run away (but only stratigicly, waiting to turn it on at the right time, "Wait for it, wait for it.....NOW !").
Then in the afternoon we were watching some film with the kitchen porch open, and it came walking into the house and plonked itself down under the air conditioner and Dad said to me "Oh for fuck's sake, it's too hot, go get it a bowl of water".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:38,
Reply)
It was a big furry dog, like a St Bernard, but a mongral of some kind.
The more I laughed, the fustrated Dad got and the more he schemed, and the happier the dog seemed. He got cardboard to chase it around the garden, told me to stand and shout the moment it ran past me (telling me to stand in a stratigic possition), waiting until the right moment to start running. Every time it would look at us quizicly and run past. Eventually a water hose got it to run away (but only stratigicly, waiting to turn it on at the right time, "Wait for it, wait for it.....NOW !").
Then in the afternoon we were watching some film with the kitchen porch open, and it came walking into the house and plonked itself down under the air conditioner and Dad said to me "Oh for fuck's sake, it's too hot, go get it a bowl of water".HELLO, MY NAME IS PAUL, I AM 25 FROM BEVERLEY HILLS AND I DO SOMETHING WITH COMPUTERS
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
Haha
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:51,
Reply)
Haha =)
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:52,
Reply)
nice
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
This is actually an excellent story
And my apologies for not knowing how old you are or what you do for a living
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
knowing caring
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Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
You are armed with a sten gun
and have acquired all the addresses of pop-reggae wankers UB40.
Alt: I know this bloke (let us call him Jeff, for that is his name) who fucks dogs.
Cheers
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:41,
Reply)
Excellent work
What's a sten gun?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:43,
Reply)

(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:46,
Reply)
STUPID WORK FIREWALL
I'm just going to assume it looks awesome and has top-notch UB40-murdering capabilities
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:48,
Reply)
They are great-looking guns
and could easily take out the Campbell brothers and the other no-marks. Trust me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:50,
Reply)
When it comes to matters of executing crap pop stars I'm more than happy to trust you
However, having studiously ignored UB40 for most of my adult life I very much doubt I could identify them if they spilled my pint (a crime punishable by death in itself, of course). Fancy a trip to Birmingham?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:52,
Reply)
In all truth, no I don't.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:54,
Reply)
Me either
Which brings us back to our original dilemma
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:56,
Reply)
Not getting very far with this are we?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
No
We are not. On the upside, it's passed half an hour reasonably pleasantly. However I have now had too much Relentless and can feel an almighty dump brewing. Just thought I'd share.
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:59,
Reply)
Don't forget to quote the length of your stool.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:01,
Reply)
I'm not taking a tape measure to the bogs
Took me fucking ages to fish it out last time
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:01,
Reply)
Use your hands then, not your mouth
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
Don't be so bloody silly
How am I supposed to measure a shite with my mouth?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
surely you've had enough experience sucking cock
that you can fairly accurately judge length and girth?
also: good morning
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:16,
Reply)
Morning
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:17,
Reply)
Morning you flangemonkey
The other problem with your suggestion is that after this much caffeine I seriously doubt my effluent will retain the firmness and consistancy of a cock
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
that is a fair point
you will have to measure volume in that case.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
Shite update below
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
That's a sterling not a sten.
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M o D, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:51,
Reply)
Well, as you're the Ministry of Defence I shall take your word for it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:54,
Reply)
Oh Monty!
Everyone knows Stens are prone to jamming. I'd go with a Chicago Piano.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
But they look fucking cool
and let's face it, it isn't my life that's at risk from faulty hardware here.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:47,
Reply)
They do look cool until you have to pull the trigger.
One bang, and then there is the embarassing silence.
My old man had one in the war, he was ordered not to point it at anyone, even if they were German.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:55,
Reply)
They worked alright in the films.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
Yeah but in Good Morning Vietnam it looked like Robin Williams might be a talented comic actor
You can't believe everything Hollywood tells you
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:01,
Reply)
I like that film!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:05,
Reply)
Then you, sir, are a fucking cunt.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:07,
Reply)
That's hardly a surprise, you facking cant!
/Clive
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
I have two problems with that film.
1) it came amongst a swathe of vastly superior 'Nam-based films and even watched in isolation desecrates them by association
2) Williams is fairly good in it, which confuses me. Given the horror he inflicted over the next twenty years, to see him be entertaining and not completely punchable is like enjoying a day trip to Peterborough
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:10,
Reply)
My favourite 'Nam film is Full Metal Jacket, followed by Platoon
I frankly don't rate Apocalypse Now highly, as I found it very dull. However, it's been a long time since I watched it, so may well watch it again someday.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
I would agree with your order
but I really like Apocalypse Now.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
Ditto
Full agreement with Vipros returns not a sense of nagging unease
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20,
Reply)
Apocalypse Now
loses it toward the end a bit.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20,
Reply)
yeah, it is pretty weird
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
No it bloody doesn't
The horrors of war, the slow decent in to madness, the disconnection from the real world. It's ace.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
Bit like your knob.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:28,
Reply)
I watched the Apocalypse Now redux again the other day
It's really good. Nam films are so much better than these modern war films like Jarhead, which was, and lets be totally fair here, a load of fucking shit.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20,
Reply)
The problem with films about Afghanistan and Iraq as opposed to Vietnam
Is that by the time Apocalypse Now, and certainly Platoon, were made America had come round to the idea that the whole war was a tremendous fuck-up on their part. Films like Jarhead, Redacted, In The Valley Of Elah and their ilk have more of a muddied message because an awful lot of Americans, including the idiots holding the chquebooks at studios, still think involvement in the Middle East is a good idea.
And yes I know Jarhead is about the early 90's Gulf War but the parallels are the only reason it got made.
And yes, it was shit.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
It's not really a war film
but Buffalo Soldiers is ace. Sergeant Bilko with smack!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
Get out of my head!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
It was shit because nothing fucking happened.
I could write a fucking book about not doing anything but I doubt it would get made into a film.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
That was my main problem with it
If they had just let him blow the guys head off it would have helped.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
head offYou big bender.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:37,
Reply)
What can I say? I love the cock.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:42,
Reply)
This is an unusual beast
A strikethrough-proof post
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
Just trying to do my part
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Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
It's not 'modern', but more modern than Nam
But I liked
Buffalo Soldiers.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
Bob Marley is shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
You really lower the tone round here.
Robin williams last did a decent day's work in Mork and Mindy.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:08,
Reply)
Hahaha
Very good, sir.
Fuck me, are you SERIOUS?!
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
No.
I meant Happy Days.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
nanoo nanoo
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Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:23,
Reply)
Robin Williams is second only to Woody 'nonce' Allen
in my list of Hollywood actors whose lives I would dearly love to end with my bare hands. I loathe that spastic with every fibre of my being. He is the master of misdirection - from the school of 'if I do a load of stupid voices and gurn perhaps nobody will twig that I am an unfunny cunt'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
Does Russell Brand not count in that list yet?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
His 'Hollywood career' is still questionable.
If he is still employed there in a year then he's on the list for sure. His hideous estuary accent is like fingers down a blackboard* to me.
*younger readers may have to Google blackboards
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:14,
Reply)
RACIST
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
Sorry, 'coloured boards'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
I absolutely could not agree with this more
Except for hating Williams significantly more than Allen, who I also have no time for. Throw in the Brand-hate below and I find myself in absolute accord with Monty.
*feels chill wind blow from the East*
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:16,
Reply)
thank fucking god
I fucking hate Woody Allen. "Being Jewish" is not of itself funny. See also: Mel Brooks.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
Blazing Saddles is fucking EXCELLENT though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
I think it is shit
Space Balls and Robin Hood - Men in Tights are bearable except for the bits with Brooks himself in, which are fucking dreadful.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
I think you're mistaken there, definitely
As Space Balls is shit.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32,
Reply)
Robin Hood: Men In Tights is atrocious
The kind of autopilot spoofery anyone could churn out. The Zucker brothers must have been appalled that their genre sunk so low.
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:34,
Reply)
'In this film
Woody plays a neurotic New York Jewish man who has relationship issues'.
Wow, such versatility.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
*shakes hand*
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:28,
Reply)
I love Robbin WIliams, at one point I had all his serious-role DVDs.
Patch Adams, What Dreams May Come, Bicentinal Man, those ones where he plays the part of a phsyciatrist... he's ace.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32,
Reply)
Dead Poets' Society is officially the Gayest Film of All Time.
Paul Ross, News of the World
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
What's the one where he makes money out of his kid dying whilst wanking?
That was shit too.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
Good Will Hunting is a great film
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
Fuck just as I thought I hated all robin williams films including Hook
you point that one out. I too liked it.
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
I almost agree
Just one tiny amendment
great fucking shit
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
I almost bought a bren gun at an auction once
Unfortunately I was there representing someone else and they might have been cross if I'd mis-spent their money.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
Still, the bren would have lasted longer than the ear-bashing.
I say you made a mistake. I'd give a finger or toe for a Schmeisser, no problem.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
It was valued at £100 - which seemed like a bargin to me
It coincidentally was exactly the amount of money i had been given to try and falsify the results of bargin hunt that was filming that day.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:13,
Reply)
My brother saw an SS sword in Cardiff for £400 (it was bit knackered and this was years ago)
His then girlfriend said if he bought it she'd leave him. Bloody over-sensitive Jews, I ask you.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:17,
Reply)
hahaha
POTDSF
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
The best I can manage is a deaths head badge for a cap
Ten a penny no doubt
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
I am most fortunate in that my family has shitloads of military heirlooms.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
I've got a load of crap from WW1 and WW2, best being a heer mahoosive eagle swastika thingy
I've also got a display of various British regimental insignia which has been valued quite high by a chap from the V&A, it looks a bit crap to be honest but who am I to argue.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
Excellent.
I know a chap who has a WWII Nazi naval flag as a bedspread. This has caused him some problems in the 'casual sex' department, I am told.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:33,
Reply)
Matching Adolf and Heinrich pillow cases can become somewhat distracting during the deed
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
The urge to salute and sing the Horst Wessel Lied
can be quite overpowering.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
The Sten is an excellent weapon
absurdly simple to make too, apparently.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
More to the point, Relentless alone is not a good thing
Make sure you eat something soon, otherwise you'll end up feeling pretty fucked up by midday.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:06,
Reply)
Got cookies
You make an excellent point though
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:08,
Reply)
I used to drink it everyday, felt like I was going to vibrate out of existence some days
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
I think he means proper food, not internet fatty food
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
Toast, Crisps or a sausage roll were my main ones, but that's because we get a sandwich van come round
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:10,
Reply)
...and a munchy box, come on, don't lie.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
He can't help it
After a munchy box for breakfast there's not much chance of him being able to stand.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:14,
Reply)
He can barely get to the door to sign for his 18" pizza at lunchtime.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
What's a munchy box?
Is that his pet name for going down on BelladonnaAnodyne?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:19,
Reply)
AA's breakfast:

(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:24,
Reply)
Is it wrong that I now want one?
(
Peej, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:24,
Reply)
Sadly, the one I get doesn't look anywhere near that good
As I don't get pakoras with mine. I get burger (beef/cheese/chicken), doner meat, 4 onion rings, 4 chicken nuggets and chips.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:29,
Reply)
It is, yes.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
That's revolting
It's looks like a close up of some tramp skin
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:24,
Reply)
A peasants feast
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
Amusingly, when I do have the £5 box
I tend to save some doner meat, and the burger for breakfast...
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:28,
Reply)
You revolting child.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:34,
Reply)
It's a sure fire hangover cure
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:35,
Reply)
Fucks sake Monty
Don't post pictures of Belladonnas minge on b3ta.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:29,
Reply)
D:
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
hahahahahaha
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
Oh dear
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:10,
Reply)
If you had terminal cancer and had a nuclear bomb strapped to your chest
you could visit Birmingham and go out in style.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
That's your answer to everything
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:10,
Reply)
That's my answer to cities of the North
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
Two points
a) Birmingham is not in the North
b) fuck you
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:14,
Reply)
a) Birmingham is North of a line drawn from Gloucester to Norwich and is therefore in the North
b) fluck you Hans Blix
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
Birmingham is south of Norwich which is categorically not in the North
Anywhere that says "Barth" instead of "Bath" is the South. Although in Birmingham I think they say "bayerth"
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
Bull,
Norwich is north of Birmingham.
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
Great minds think alike
Darth.
(
Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:27,
Reply)
and so does mine
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32,
Reply)
The fallout would likely head towards Stratford
Give me the nod so I can be out of town when it happens.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:13,
Reply)
Too many tourists in Stratford
Same with Windsor.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
I completely agree
Hence I've no problem with the radiation cloud rolling over it, just would rather be somewhere else when it does.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:20,
Reply)
Too much shouting this morning.
I've not slept well in ages.
I've never been to Birmingham, only driven past it. Too tired to be interesting.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:23,
Reply)
Do some excercise, best cure for sleeplessness there is
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
Oh, it was circumstance that prevented me sleeping.
Seeing as I spent Saturday night on two chairs pushed together.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
Why were you shouting this morning?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
I wasn't. Flatmates were leaving for college and woke me up.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:32,
Reply)
Bastard Flatmates
Make sure you kick each of them in the cunt when they get back.
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
Could be worse
I can't bitch about my flatmates on here
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:43,
Reply)
I can't really.
For Charm's sake, it wasn't her who ended up yelling down the stairs which really woke me up.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
That is one of the most disappointing dumps I've ever taken
It made England's bowling attack look consistent
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
There's no reason to go to Birmingham
That accent is just... wrong.
ALT: I'm feeling lazy, so just have a link to this video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX-LN5TlvUI&feature=player_profilepageMy sister gets maimed at the end. It cheered me up.
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
That is almost offensively cute
Morning honey. I hope you appreciate the restraint I showed on your behalf last night.
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
Morning chick
No idea what you're talking about. I am about as tired as you are, but without the sugar or epic caffeine overload.
I'm really sorry to hear about your rat, will it be OK? I like rats :(
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
Thank you for asking babe
He's massively underweight, especially compared to his brothers, and his breathing's irregular. Luckily Ms Foxtrot's Dad is a vet and is visiting this evening.
Last night I only posted one update about Glee. It took a lot of willpower.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:58,
Reply)
I really hope he's OK
I hate it when pets get ill, it's rubbish.
I know what you're talking about now. It was very much appreciated chick.
Another video of Alan the kitten to try cheer you up (less maiming but still cute)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_3sKSG8nKA&feature=player_profilepage
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
Thanks honey
You're really very lovely
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:15,
Reply)
*hugs*
Keep me posted on his progress.
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:20,
Reply)
how the hell do you nurse a RAT?
i'm very sorry darth, but i think the best cure for any rat (and this includes hamsters, gerbils, mice and men) is a nice clean whack with a nice big spade...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
I'd like to apologise now for the absence of my usual wit and elan
but fuck you.
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
you know i'm just trying to tease you out of it
don't be like that honey-bunny
(hmm, bunnies are also a prime candidate for a nice spade-whacking, now i come to think of it)
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
RACIST
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:54,
Reply)
Sorry darling
My verification filter is miles off today
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:55,
Reply)
RACIST.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
Pet rats are lovely
I agree with you on the man part though.
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:51,
Reply)
definitely
not all men. just... the majority.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
It'd definitely be easier to make a list of men to not whack with a spade.
Let's see... Jake Gyllenhaal, potential Brighton-boy, Paolo Nutini and Darth, because I'm being nice to him today. That's it.
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:54,
Reply)
Awww
Cheers honey. Can you add Graeme Swann? Just until the World Cup's over.
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:57,
Reply)
you forgot bradley cooper
other than that, we're good to go.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:01,
Reply)
Wait
Jamie Campbell Bower and Charlie Cox must remain de-spaded too.
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BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
Tristan is a bit of a legend...
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:07,
Reply)
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