I went to see a psychiatrist a couple of years ago
because I was really fucking down. When I told him my list of woes he basically said 'there's nothing wrong with you at all - your life genuinely is really fucking depressing and actually you're coping remarkably well, off you go'.

Does that count as 'good news'?

Alt: due to an inherited gastric condition I have had a telescope up my 'sultan'. Not fun.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:07, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

it's the way you tell em,
Bill Murray eat your knob off.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I don't understand your reply.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)

There is this punk-rock band called "Greenday" and they did this song called "Basckit case" (only spelt right), they had the following lyrics in that song
I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex
That's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
It's bringing her down
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Are you suggesting that a trip to a prozzie might cheer me up?
I shall give it a go, but if Lusty finds out, I'm telling her you told me to, OK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I'll cheer you up.
*books train ticket*
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)

*Googles 'rubber sheet retailers in East London'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Yeah, like you dont know where to buy them....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Plus I already own four of them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I did psychology at A-Level
and all it taught me was that its all a load of shit and 99% of people have the means to help themselves but like the drama in their lives. Most just need to cheer the fuck up and accept that no matter how bad things are for you there are many people in the world who have it a fuckload worse.
( Peej, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I only went
because my ex made it a condition of my being allowed to see my daughter. Load of old bollocks, I have always maintained.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Hang on.......
She made your life hell and then said you couldn't see you daughter unless you saw a shrink?
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Yes. That is entirely correct.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:17, Reply)

*shakes head in disbelief*

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Finding out this sort of thing about me
may help you to understand why I am such a miserable old cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Understanding isn't the problem.
It's the not being able to help that sucks.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

nah, you'd make him see a shrink before seeing your kids too

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)

There is nothing wrong with Monty a good women couldn't fix.
And she seems to be working her magic already.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Why should she have to fix the mental old goat?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

She likes him.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Well I hope he keeps his socks pulled up

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

*nods head in agreement*

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Or maaaaybe she knows something we dont.
Underage goats was it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

They looked older.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)

And all those photos?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)

this is why it takes more than an A level to become a psychologist.
you fucking idiot.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 20:01, Reply)