this whole subthread is exceptionally unpleasant, mind

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 15:57, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Didn't you used to engaged in scatological sexual practices?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare,
Some are born shit, some achieve shit and some have shit thrust upon them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

no, no way and never

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I would like to draw the attention of the jury to the following exhibit:
b3ta.com/questions/itsover/

Winning story
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

motion to strike out
approved

that was NOT me! and i RAN AWAY! FAST!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Ha, motion!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

she's got a glass coffee table especially for that

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

oddly enough
i actually do have a glass coffee table and dining table. not for that though!

they are beautiful but god they are a pain in the arse. every fucking fingerprint...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I'd hate the noise of things clanging around on the surface

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

you aren't allowed to put things on them
you might scratch them! and they were VERY EXPENSIVE.

(unlike my dfs sofas and argos side-table)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:06, Reply)

HOW MUCH AND BY WHICH DESIGNER?
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

can't remember the designer
some italian dude, they are handmade wood in swirly shapes and then glass tops.

the coffee table was about £2.5k, the dining table about £4.5k and the chocolate suede chairs £650 each (x6). only at this point did dad announce that i had a £10k budget for furniture. i did my maths. realised i was still short of sofas, beds, cutlery and other kitchen equipment, towels, tv...

sometimes it is important to write these things out just to remind yourself what a totally incompetent fuckwit you can be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I demand a Bateman-esque description of the items in question.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:18, Reply)

kinda like this
www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://furnish.co.uk/photos/articles/regular/dining-tables/dining-tables-6771.jpg%3F1292787161&imgrefurl=http://furnish.co.uk/features/677-spotlight-on-tom-schneider&usg=__UlrLIpyJYdHWzlzdyx3B_9YBb8U=&h=400&w=384&sz=13&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=NreARuJZiHbd3M:&tbnh=163&tbnw=156&ei=3YVmTc2eM9O3hAe8je2sDQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtom%2Bschneider%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1260%26bih%3D839%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1014&vpy=445&dur=125&hovh=229&hovw=220&tx=180&ty=105&oei=3YVmTc2eM9O3hAe8je2sDQ&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:17,s:0
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I wouldn't buy it
but it is pretty.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

mine is much paler wood and
a different shape and all sorts. that was just the closest i could find!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

fucking hell
I could furnish a whole street for 10k
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

i did the rest of the flat for a fraction of that
i had to!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I furnished a house for about £45 quid
freecycle FTW
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

pikey

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:41, Reply)

and yet strangely beguiling..?
No you're right, its just unpleasant isn't it! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 24 Feb 2011, 15:58, Reply)

yes
it is basically men talking about their toilet habits after drinking guinness.

talking about toilet habits is NEVER A GOOD THING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 15:59, Reply)

True true
But this is B3ta - home of poo and rainbows
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

it's the only thing i'm prudish about, funnily enough
sex, religion, money, all other taboo topics are fine. but i am more likely to say something like "i'm just going to the euphemism" or "may i borrow your bathroom" if i have had one diet coke too many than admit openly that i am going for a piss.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:04, Reply)

In defence of this practice,
B3ta has encouraged such conversation with no fewer than two Questions of the Week asking for stories of a scatological nature.

(And in my defence, I only rarely drink Guinness...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

This is all true!
I do like a nice Guinness every now and then. Although I went on a work thing to Brussels last year and was forced to drink too many pints of G and then have weird coffee and evil shots... the next day I went off it a bit! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:11, Reply)

You went all the way to Brussels and they made you drink Guinness?
*facepalms*
I think I'd have handed in my notice the following day, if I'd been you...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Yeah I'm not sure what that was all about
I was with one of the Partners who's Irish so he was looking for an Irish bar... don't worry though I had chips with mayo and got groped by a French guy so I got my Brussels experience!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:16, Reply)