The Name of the Helper
My short story The Name of the Helper is now online.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:17, 24 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My 15" black rubber cock.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)

hahaa
Now that's a story I'd read
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:22, Reply)

alright tgb
You're up for a walk at blousie's bash aren't you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Only if you link arms with me and we get to skip along the paths
throwing flowers around and then there will be a comedy roll down a hill
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I think most of this could be arranged
but if you think I'm rolling down that hill you're sorely mistaken.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Let's leave that to Rory's nemesis

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:51, Reply)

You always come on here, post a new "published" "short story", and then fuck off without replying to anyone.
Now, in my Assertation classes, they taught me to put my point across in 3 groups, the first one explaining the situation, the second one saying how it makes me feel and the consiquences, and the final one being a proposed sollution.... so....

- You come on here giving it the big I Am, showing off about being a published author, and then you leave without listening to a single reply. I can't fatherm the point of this, as surely you would stay around for the potential praise you believe it deserves. So I suggest, so we can both move on, you show me your bumhole.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Have you been drinking bleach again?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Hahahahaaaa

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)

The irony that I fucked off is not lost on me, but I totally called it, not a single reply. SAD TIMES.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:34, Reply)

That's actually superb.
I love those fable-type stories, and old Arabic stories like the 1001 Nights, Ali Baba etc. and that is more than competent pastiche.

Gutted, really, as I was hoping to post 'cool story bro' or 'tl:dr'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Sorry not a fan
it didn't quite fit in with the Arabian nights style that you were obviously attempting to replicate, in particular the old woman character which is actually a more western trope
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Well I thought it was a decent effort.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Have you read this?
I've been smirking at it quite often recently:
writebadlywell.blogspot.com/
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Have you seen
bettermyths.blogspot.com

It's had me chortling lately.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:14, Reply)

It's a Glee story!
Mashup Arabian Nights and Merchant of Venice et voila!

Nicely written though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:04, Reply)

who knows the rules on QOTW
I'm writing an entry but not sure when to throw in a line break.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Don't do it at the end of every sentence.
Not unless you want to inflate your own post so much that it pushes everyone else's posts off the screen.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:15, Reply)

you mean
not
like
this

or

not

like

this?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:16, Reply)

The latter's more common.
You often see it.

It's a good way to bloat out an insubstantial story.

If you've not got much to say.

Or if you want to make it read like the leading article in a red-top tabloid.

But to be honest, neither are very readable.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:20, Reply)

ahh taaaaa.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:34, Reply)

shamelessly stolen and altered

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I liked it and will read more of your stories.
My only criticism is two words which are too anglo saxon or latinate so spoil the feel of the piece.

Muck is just the wrong word to use as it has a hard ending which breaks the flow of the writing. Filth, which you do use elswhere is better, as is dung.

Ostler is too modern a word, and too english. A man reduced to his position would be a slave.

Sorry to seem such a pernickety arsehole, but as I said, if you post stuff like this, I'll read it. Keep it up.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 7:54, Reply)