I am shit
at DIY and stuff.

Can you fix your own car?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:50, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yeah, the reasonably simple stuff.
I don't have decent garage space, so there's no point investing in the requisite tools for the larger jobs. I'm of the opinion that if you're going to use something every day, you really ought to know how to maintain it.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)

You're lucky.
What MB said below.

I can barely wire a plug. I changed a full light fitting a couple of weekends back and fitted a new shade and whatnot. I did it but it took me look 2.5 hours. I was telling my mate when he came round about it. He laughed his arse off when I told him about it, reckons it should have taken me 20 minutes.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Better safe than sorry
It took me ages to change the lights in our house too. Electricity is like magic string for me. I understand the concept but I'm sure there are pixies involved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)

It's just practice, really.
If you pay attention to what you're taking apart, there's no reason why it shouldn't be just as simple to put it back together again.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Last time I wired a light fitting
I electrocuted myself pretty badly.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Me too. Fucking hopeless.
When I was a boy we had maintenance people who did all DIY stuff for us so I never learnt a fucking thing from my father. So it's his fault.

My brother is superb. Ten years as a squatter does that to a man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I am improving over the years at DIY stuff
I am fucking brilliant at improvising fixes though. I built a bookshelf using only a garlic press once
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Course you did, old boy.

Course you did.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)

'tis true!
My finest DIY moment. Bought a fucking Ikea jobbie and went back to my flat only to find I had no hammer and the shops were shut
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Did I ever tell you about the time Sean Connery helped me with my DIY?
He was fucking rubbish at it. He looked at the wonky wall mounts he'd put together and said "I am ashamed of myshelf".
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

And sho you should be.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Should, certainly
Not though. I love that joke, cheap and crap as I am aware it is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

it is I am.

Morning, Nemesis. How's you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Cheap and crap
Congratulations darling, you've hammered my nail on its head. I'm just going to give you a minute to savour that mental image.

And your good self?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Please find enclosed your first LTI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Bless you, work firewall
I have no idea what that is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

An angry baby with a LTI caption

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Can't see it; doesn't count

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)

( Peej, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Hahaha!
The puns buuuuuuuurrrrrn
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Was that back when you were an RAF doctor?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Yeah
Just before I went to the ballet or some such fantasy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)

This is fairly similar to the reason I can't cook
Not living at home, I didn't have my mummy to teach me. And my school was a high-falutin' grammar school that didn't go in for that domestic skills shite.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Once again we are in accord
My brain stores the wrong type of information. I can tell you which films won what at the Oscars but not how to rewire a plug
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)

See I don't understand this.
You put the wires in the same place as they were on the old one. I genuinely don't understand what's so hard about that.
( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)

OK that was a bad example
As you say, it's a fairly straightforward matter. I suppose what I should have said is that I wouldn't know where the wires would go without an example to hand.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:17, Reply)